The Perfect Day!

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by dance_with_the_devil, Sep 3, 2006.

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  1. The Perfect Day ………………….for HER

    8.15am…Wake up to hugs and kisses
    8.30am…Weigh in 2 kg lighter than yesterday
    8.45am…Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants
    9.00am…Open presents - expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner
    9.15am…Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
    10.00am…Light work out at club with handsome/funny personal trainer
    10.30am…Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition and blow dry
    12.00am…Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café
    12.45pm…Catch sight of husband’s/boyfriend’s ex, and notice that she has gained 7kg
    1.00pm…Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
    3.00pm…Nap
    4.00pm…Three dozen roses delivered by florist, with card from secret admirer
    4.15pm…Light workout at club, followed by massage from strong, gentle hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
    5.30pm…Choose new outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full length mirror
    7.30pm…Candle lit dinner for two, followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers
    10.00pm Hot shower (alone)
    10.50pm…Carried to bed..(freshly ironed, crisp new white linen)
    11.00pm…Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
    11.15pm…Fall asleep in his big strong arms

    The perfect day…………………for HIM


    6.00am…Alarm
    6.15am…Blow job
    6.30am…Massive satisfying dump whilst reading the sports section
    7.00am…Breakfast : Rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by a naked, buxom wench
    7.30am…Limo arrives
    7.45am…Several whiskies on way to airport
    9.15am…Flight in personal lear jet
    9.30am…Limo to Riverside Oaks Golf Club (blow job en route)
    9.45am…Play first 9 (2 under)
    11.45am…Lunch : Pie, chips and gravy, 3 lagers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
    12.15am…Blow job
    12.30pm…Play second nine (4 under)
    2.15pm…Limo back to airport (several whiskies en route)
    2.30pm…Fly to Monte Carlo
    3.30pm…Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew
    4.30pm…Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle
    5.00pm…Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle MacPherson
    6.45pm…Shit, shower and shave
    7.00pm…Watch news : Michael Jackson assassinated, marijuana and porn legalised
    7.30pm…Dinner : lobster appetiser, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a pair of tits
    9.00pm…Napoleon Brandy and Havana cigar in front of wall size TV as you watch Match Of The Day - England beat Germany 11-0
    9.30pm… Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies
    11.00pm…Massage and jaccuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a few pints
    11.30pm…Night cap blow job
    11.45pm…In bed alone
    11.50pm…A 12 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
    12.00pm…Fall asleep giggling
     
  2. ...why would he have a dog in the bedroom?
     
  3. i have before BUT to be fair she was a looker at 3am
     
  4. Only a 12 second fart, Amateur. :lol: :cheese: