The Penis Pay Rise Application

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by A_Knocker_Till_The_End, Jan 13, 2008.

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  1. I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

    I do physical labour.

    I work at great depths.

    I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

    I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

    I work in a damp environment.

    I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

    I work in high temperatures.

    My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

    Sincerely,
    P. Niss

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    The Response:

    Dear P. Niss:

    After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

    You do not work 8 hours straight.

    You fall asleep after brief work periods.

    You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

    You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.

    You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

    You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

    You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.

    You will retire well before you are 65.

    You are unable to work double shifts.

    You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.

    And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

    Sincerely,
    V. Gina
     
  2. And why do men give their penis a pet name?
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    < They don't want 90% of their thinking done by a complete stranger :)


    Excuse me is that my coat on your chair ...
     
  3. You can tell that your wife isn't back yet.
     
  4. why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
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    cos they have no balls to scratch. :lol:

    Hat coat taxi
     
  5. Im outraged he didnt get a RAISE, All aboard the OUTRAGE BANDWAGON and lets start a petition to 10 Downing Street.
     
  6. You forgot to mention the smell in the workplace
     
  7. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    You also forgot to mention that when you arrive for work, the Site Manager has called off for the shift due to headache/tiredness/time of the month. or any other excuse available.
     
  8. A standing penis has no conscience, even for the unconscious.
     
  9. When the little head is hard............
    The big head is soft!