The passing of a Giant

ugly

LE
Moderator
#1
A giant arse that is, a certain Stalking guide and land agent passed away last month, although I learnt a lot from him mostly how not to treat clients I am sad to say I havent missed him the last few years whilst he was ill and arsier than normal.
 
#2
A somewhat enigmatic post Uggs..!
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#7
That new Dyson works a treat, there's **** all dust in here.
None here either the miserable old bugger was long overdue. Most of his problems I put down to a recurrence of Lymes kicked off again by his chemotherapy but its basically because you have to be a sour bastard to have that bad side to you first so that the schizo exposes it!
No names here as it cost me enough last time I madfe cryptic comments about the bugger!
 
#8
Remember to dance on the grave before you nip one off on it. N.b. You could teach your dogs to do their business on the grave that would be a fitting tribute.
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#9
Knowing my luck he was buried at sea
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#10
A giant arse that is, a certain Stalking guide and land agent passed away last month, although I learnt a lot from him mostly how not to treat clients I am sad to say I havent missed him the last few years whilst he was ill and arsier than normal.
I love it when that happens! I'm currently awaiting notification of three cnuts that I want dead and have done for some time now. Actually, now I come to think about it, there's three others. One has a heart problem and is vastly overweight (I can't even get odds on that ****), the other is a fat **** who simply loves the 'upper crust' lifestyle...I can only get evens on him. One, I hope will top himself, another I pray to see on TV in an orange jump suit, and the others will hopefully die in a fire or in something equally painful where they are trapped and are fully conscious of the fact that this is going to ******* hurt.

It's not that I bear a grudge like. It's just the fact that I have this inability to forgive and forget nasty bastards and their antics. If Allah is kind, I will attend each of their funerals and will subsequently post photos of me pissing on their graves after the families have fucked off for a bevvy.
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#12
#13
It's just the fact that I have this inability to forgive and forget nasty bastards and their antics.
And why should you?

Not a month ago learnt of the timely death of a former boss of mine, a bloke whose ability to screw things up, piss people off & ruin careers was second to none. A bad case of Angry Small Man syndrome.

Eventually got found out and moved on through a series of jobs, screwing each one up but always bullshitting his way onto the next assisted of course in the traditional manner by those who just wanted rid of him without fuss.

Always drove like a lunatic so it came as no surprise to learn he met his end by wrapping his car sideways round a tree at speed.

The tree is doing well.
 
#14
QUOTE=Blogg;5266179]And why should you?

Not a month ago learnt of the timely death of a former boss of mine, a bloke whose ability to screw things up, piss people off & ruin careers was second to none. A bad case of Angry Small Man syndrome.

Eventually got found out and moved on through a series of jobs, screwing each one up but always bullshitting his way onto the next assisted of course in the traditional manner by those who just wanted rid of him without fuss.

Always drove like a lunatic so it came as no surprise to learn he met his end by wrapping his car sideways round a tree at speed.

The tree is doing well.[/QUOTE]

Aah - I do like a happy ending...
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#15
[video=youtube;C6ZDsUGiGqM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6ZDsUGiGqM[/video]

It sounds like a tale if gruff man love, the sort that dare not speak it's name, worse than that time up on Brokeback.
 
#17
Not dead (sadly) but my wife's sister, who proved to be an evil ******* bitch to my wife as well as the rest of the world in general, has just been rushed to hospital with kidney stones. Massively painful apparently.

Log may it continue. I would actually like to make her drink petrol and then set fire to her.
 
#19
And why should you?

Not a month ago learnt of the timely death of a former boss of mine, a bloke whose ability to screw things up, piss people off & ruin careers was second to none. A bad case of Angry Small Man syndrome.

Eventually got found out and moved on through a series of jobs, screwing each one up but always bullshitting his way onto the next assisted of course in the traditional manner by those who just wanted rid of him without fuss.

Always drove like a lunatic so it came as no surprise to learn he met his end by wrapping his car sideways round a tree at speed.

The tree is doing well.
It should therefore be appreciated that the appearance of bunches of flowers at the site of the accident are expressions of sympathy for the poor innocent tree.

I knew somebody just like that, many years ago. He finally cheered many of us up by electrocuting himself in public, while putting up a sound stage and accidentally drilling through the main electrical supply. We alerted the emergency services as soon as possible, but you know how slow the mail can be out in the rurals.

tac
 
#20
I refer the hounorable ARRSEr's to a post I make last year regarding just this subject

http://www.arrse.co.uk/naafi-bar/180438-personal-best-moments-shadenfreude.html#post4350635

Fat_Cav said:
My first real job upon leaving the Army was as a supervisor in a home delivery company. There was this one particular driver who was a complete ****. It has to be said he was hard as nails and pretty much everyone was scared of him. Anyway, he assumed his mission in life was to belittle and patronise everyone. As a new fresh-out-of-uniform civvie and with zero transport experience, he made sure that every single faux pas I made in routing and alike was splashed around the site (Still not sure how I got the job??).

He would also often finish his round and stop off at the pub a few miles up the road for a few beers with his twatty oppo. Although I could prove they were stopping off via their Tacho, they always managed to avoid me on the occasions they were bevvied up, clocked off and fucked off home before I caught up with him. Anyway, revenge would be mine as after a particularly big bust-up I had with him, he went off sick, came back a few weeks later and declared to all and sundry he had Cancer. He was assigned to be my bitch as he couldn't drive anymore and I fucked him about left, right and centre. Eventually it caught up with him and he died a few months later ½ the size he used to be. The depot was a bit cut up, I was secretly pleased. :smile:

A similar happened to me in the next company. I attended this top level meeting regarding the companies Supply Chain (My remit) and had a big barney in front of the whole board with the newly arrived Service Director. He tried to patronise me, but as I've got a PhD in Sarcasm, I snapped back at everything he tried. I was pulled aside the next day and was requested to apologise to him as I shouldn't have been so fronty to a Director. "No chance!" I said. "He was in the wrong!". Anyway, a few frosty meetings later over the next few months and we're still getting along like a house on fire. He tried to stitch me up professionally but my boss saw right through it and defended me. However, as you can guess, he goes off sick with some throat Cancer or other and within a few months, he's dead.

I seem to recall I refused to add to the collection for his funeral. :cool:
 

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