The Oz Army

Letter from a Tumba kid to Mum and Dad. (For those of you not in the know, Tumba is short for Tumbarumba, a small town not far from Wagga Wagga, NSW.)

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell big brothers Doug and Phil that the > Army
is better than working on the farm - tell them to get into the Army quick
before the jobs are all gone.

I was a bit slow in settling down at first, because you don't get
outta bed until 6am. I like sleeping in now, but all you do before brekky
is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No cows to milk,
no calves to feed, no feed to stack---nothing.

Men must shave, but its not so bad, coz there's hot water and a light to
see what ya doing.

Breakfast has cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or
possum stew. You don't get fed again until noon, and by that time all the
city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - just like
walking to the windmill in the back paddock.
This will kill Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for
shooting - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's head
and it doesn't move and its not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our

bull got their cow pregnant before the Ekka. All yas gotta do is make
yourself comfortable and hit the target - piece of piss. You don't even
load your own cartridges - they come in boxes and ya don't have to steady
yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload.

Then ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz
they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and
Boori and Steve all at once like we do.

Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best
the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this guy from 5RAR -
he's 6 foot 8 and 13 stone and I'm 5 foot six and seven stone, but I fought to the end.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word
gets around how good it is.

Your loving daughter,

Beebs :wink:


The Oz Army: is that the one in the Emerald City which has a wizard in charge?
Great Googly Woogly!!

Nothing ever dies on the internet, does it?..

That ' letter home ' has been circulating in one form or another since the days of Sgt. York!!!..

Gee..I hate to think what else might be floating about in the photos of Adolph?..ctauch with his ' birth mother' Dolly the cloned sheep?
A thin and gangly, pimple faced MDN in his standard issue boxers getting his first rectal exam at the intake centre?


Nurse. double up the sedative in the drip!.. I'm having nightmares...
Airbourne sister? 8O :D
Found it!!

the original ' letter home ' is written on sheepskin parchment and is in the National Army Museum in Chelsea.. its from one Ranald Mcglaughlin who came south from Scotland to join King George III's army off to fight in America...

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