The only Gay in the Village

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Arte_et_Marte, May 1, 2010.

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  1. I am an Englishman and live in a small village in West Cork Ireland. I have lived here for 3 years and am part of the social and business community. As you can imagine, pretty much everyone knows every one else’s business. Such is village life.

    There is a gay in the village (no duff) and he has taken a distinct dislike to me.

    I never realised he was of the uphill-gardener persuasion when I first met him, although my wife suspected, and I always got on fine, getting the drinks in, having a laugh and generally giving it the bonhomie stylee.

    He was never a big drinker, but has turned into a bit of a local pisshead (reason unknown) and has now started a) coming on to me in my local… and b) since I refuse to become involved with his nether region activities he becomes quite abusive in public.

    I cannot be seen to just twat him, as I am just a Brit “Blow-in” (he is a respected member of the community) and would lose any respect that I may have, and I cannot shout out. “Feck off gayer”

    Nor can I firebomb his house. The blokes around here know more about exploding things and death by fire than I really want to know.

    It is starting to wreck my. ”Quiet pint after work” If he is in the bar, although he does behave himself when I am out with the Frau.

    Some advice required please.

    He is seriously getting on my fecking wick
     
  2. Just slip him a fatty - Simples
     
  3. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Dry bum him!
     
  4. You just made this up, didn't you?
     
  5. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Then dry bum him!
     
  6. Just keep reminding him that he's an abomination to society along with all his bummer ilk too.
     
  7. Or invite you and Jarrod over for the weekend!
     
  8. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Then dry bum him
     
  9. So...any suggestions?
     
  10. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    None that I can think of to be honest!
     
  11. Why would I do that? Feck off with your advice. :D

    “Thinks”…That’s what’s required. The Landlord of my local is a good egg and has a sense of humour (and probably knows how to burn villages... Properly)
     
  12. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Just a thought, why don't you dry bum him but (this is the nasty bit) don't give him a reach around.
     
  13. [​IMG]
     
  14. That's not going to happen though is it? Bum & Toss regardless of your persistent advice

    I wear glasses FFS.
     
  15. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Just trying to help! Keep your shirt on!