The only Gay in the Village

#1
I am an Englishman and live in a small village in West Cork Ireland. I have lived here for 3 years and am part of the social and business community. As you can imagine, pretty much everyone knows every one else’s business. Such is village life.

There is a gay in the village (no duff) and he has taken a distinct dislike to me.

I never realised he was of the uphill-gardener persuasion when I first met him, although my wife suspected, and I always got on fine, getting the drinks in, having a laugh and generally giving it the bonhomie stylee.

He was never a big drinker, but has turned into a bit of a local pisshead (reason unknown) and has now started a) coming on to me in my local… and b) since I refuse to become involved with his nether region activities he becomes quite abusive in public.

I cannot be seen to just twat him, as I am just a Brit “Blow-in” (he is a respected member of the community) and would lose any respect that I may have, and I cannot shout out. “Feck off gayer”

Nor can I firebomb his house. The blokes around here know more about exploding things and death by fire than I really want to know.

It is starting to wreck my. ”Quiet pint after work” If he is in the bar, although he does behave himself when I am out with the Frau.

Some advice required please.

He is seriously getting on my fecking wick
 
#2
Just slip him a fatty - Simples
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#3
Dry bum him!
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#5
Then dry bum him!
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#8
Then dry bum him
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#10
None that I can think of to be honest!
 
#11
walt_of_the_walts said:
You just made this up, didn't you?
Why would I do that? Feck off with your advice. :D

verticalgyro said:
Let the landlord know quietly that this guy is getting on your t1ts. Tell him it's getting to the point where you don't want to come to his pub any more. Buy him a pint and play the victim.

A good landlord will tell this other guy to back off. If he doesn't, then it's clear you're not wanted, so burn the whole fucking village.
“Thinks”…That’s what’s required. The Landlord of my local is a good egg and has a sense of humour (and probably knows how to burn villages... Properly)
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#12
Just a thought, why don't you dry bum him but (this is the nasty bit) don't give him a reach around.
 
#14
B_AND_T said:
Just a thought, why don't you dry bum him but (this is the nasty bit) don't give him a reach around.
That's not going to happen though is it? Bum & Toss regardless of your persistent advice

I wear glasses FFS.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#15
Just trying to help! Keep your shirt on!
 
#16
I think you should feel him up when no one is looking and then when tries it back punch his lamps out and make a hell of a scene and get him banned from the pub :D
 

Nehustan

On ROPS
On ROPs
#17
He's not the only gay in the village...there's cottage[r]s everywhere!

...what...ahh my coat...thanks...
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#18
johnboyzzz said:
I think you should feel him up when no one is looking and then when tries it back punch his lamps out and make a hell of a scene and get him banned from the pub :D
You could dry bum him
 
#20
Lead him on and go back to his place, when his backs turned slip some rohypnol into his drink and when he's in the land of nod turn on all his gas appliances before you leave put a tin of lighter fuel in his microwave and switch it on........................end of poofter and the police will think it was a drunken accident.
 
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