The one armed man

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by taff_dee, Jan 12, 2007.

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  1. Went back off crimbo leave on friday and me and a few of the lads decided we needed to get fecking minging so off we trot to guildford.
    Start off slowly deciding to pace ourselves cos it was only 1600 and we dont want to end up in the guard room just yet. All is going well with our plan it's 2030 and no ones swamped themselves result. so we decide to stop being faggots and start smashing the tequilas in to us and so start our down hill spiral.

    Right now its 2300 and we are fecked my eyes are blood shot from squeezing lemon in to them and every time i sniff i get a gob full of salt. We decide we are probably too pissed to pull any normal birds as pete had just tryed telling this fat bird that he wanted to feck her up the arse and shat in her mouth and she told him to feck off so he told her she couldnt be too picky as even with his stella goggles on she was a right minger which she replied with a slap. so off we go in search of a whore house.

    now none of us had ever been whoring in guildford sowe didnt know if there were any or where they would be so we try and ask some people. After many dirty looks and people telling us they didnt know where one was we find a likely target. A man with one of those really short arms that looks like a babys. For some reason he takes offence to us asking him (it may have had something to do with the words oi you spaccer you must know where a brothel is cos you couldnt pull feck all with an arm like that). Now i didnt know the rules in a situation like this but the bloke come at me (it wasnt even me who said it) swinging i get hit by his good hand then he starts swinging his stump at this point the lads are all pishing themselves seeing this one armed bloke twa**ng me with his stump and i dont know what to do if i should hit him or laugh. This has drawn quite a crowd now and my pride is on the line i cant be seen to be getting my arrse kicked by a spaccer so i grab his good arm so he tw*ts me across the head with his stump causing the whole crowd to pish themsleves which winds him up even more so he starts to run off. He trips on the curb and goes head long in to the bus stop which someone has spewed in. At this point the coppers turn up the whole incident being on cctv and arrest the spaccer for causing an affray and tell us to carry on. Now i do feel a bit guilty about this and plead his case to the cops saying there was a misunderstanding but they arent having any of it and cart him away.

    Did i do the right thing should i have hit the fecker back or walked away? and we didnt even find a whore house. Is there one in guildford for future referance?
  2. I'm ashamed of you Taff why didnt you ask the coppers about the whore house when they turned up?