The Oddest Beds in which You've Slept

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by pongo6863, Sep 12, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Whilst watching the cricket today I heard sir Ian Botham tell a story concerning an hotel in which the English team slept while on tour in India. It was in the North of the country, was very cold and had the biggest bed he'd ever seen. Seven members of the squad, all wearing their sweaters, slept in it.

    This reminded me of a Youth Hostel in which I stayed with some members of my cycling club on our way home after a tour of the Pyrenees. The bed - yes, there was only one and all (and I mean all) visitors slept in it - was a mattress about 15 feet in diameter sunk into the floor. In other circumstances it could have been fun as it was it caused a certain amount of hilarity...

    What's the oddest bed you've ever used?
  2. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Reviewer

    Oh, bugger it. Some straw in a deserted pig-sty in '86 in deepest, darkest East Germany, having attempted to hand-winch the Senator through the mud off an old apple tree, only to discover the car was stationary and the tree was slowly moving towards us. Had some odd dreams that night.
  3. In the late 70s my gf and I inadvertently slept in a brothel in Nice. We only twigged our cheap and noisy hotel was actually a knocking shop on our way down the stairs the next morning.
  4. A hammock slung alongside a torpedo on HMS Trafalgar, when I spent a week on the sub whilst on an exchange visit. The effing torpedo ticked all night. I didn't sleep all week.
  5. This would be an excellent thread for the Old 'n' Bold forum... IF WE STILL HAD ONE!!!
  6. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    it's the naafi bar and no-one's said 'your mum's' yet.

    I'm disappointed.
  7. Back in the early hours of this morning, Your mums bed was quite odd. all the stains on it and everything.
  8. Many moons ago, I was leaving a posting and had a very early start the next morning. Had handed in my bedding the day before and intended to sleep in my green maggot, but the best laid plans etc.
    We went into town and got humungously drunk and on return to camp I decided to get my friend to lock me in a spare locker as it would be more comfy than the maggot. Next morning my watch alarm goes off at stupid o'clock and I realise that my mates not got to get up and is still in his pit.
    Had to force my way out of a locker. THe joys of alcoholic wisdom! I didn't drink after that until the evening!
    I saw my mate many months later and had to explain to him why he woke up to a locker with broken doors.
  9. By fcuk you must have been out of it, how the feck can a locker be more comfy than a maggot, stand up or possibly slump in a confined space as opposed to lying on an albeit hard floor but at least streached out.
  10. Without going into details of the raucous nights out, twice I have woken up in a skip, not the same one both times though!
  11. I used to sleep in a racing car :D
  12. Something similar happened to me when I was working in Barcelona but I wasn't so quick to twig. I'd put the late night noises down to exuberant holidaymakers. It was only when I went to pay my first week's bill and was about to query why I was being charged three times the rate that was displayed on the tariff board that I realised the board price was "per hora". I stayed there another six weeks. By the time I left, I'd formed discrete little holes through the walls on each side of my room...
  13. My neighbours son is a 20 year old something mong dribbler with down syndrome and he has a racing car bed.
  14. When I was visiting the US on holiday I slept in (on?) a water bed - took me ages to get to sleep as it was most unfamiliar. Remember waking up in the morning, moving suddenly and almost fell out of the bed in surprise.
  15. Quite agree. But of course I was verr verr drunk.