The Non depression thread

#1
Please feel free to post your experiences in here if you've made poor decisions in the past but you've been man enough to take accountability for your actions and made best of a bad time.

Here's mine, I went camping down the woods with a mate of mine in the early 80's, we discovered that some of the older lads had made a swing that crossed the river, at the highest point it must have been a 20 foot drop into the water, I'd had a couple of goes of the swing while my mate got the bollocks to try it out. Eventually he took the rope in his hand and started to swing, I however had removed the stick on which you sat on so while he was fumbling for the stick to sit on, he lost his grip on the rope and instead of going head first into the river, he went head first down the river bank and onto the rocks in which he cracked his head open and required 15 stitches in his forehead and he looked like John Merrick. I often think back to that day and still to this day, laugh my tits off about it.

There was no brokeback mountain experiences in our tent before you start asking.

C'mon, show us your experiences of bad decisions that you quite rightly manned up to and don't give a flying toss about.
 

sirbhp

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
god knows why , but i once kicked a 165 hesh miss fire. it took me six months for the penny to drop on what could have happend. I was young and indestructible, i thought then the next big mistake was to marry a ginger bird who told me that she was pregnant ... i should have run a mile .
 
#5
god knows why , but i once kicked a 165 hesh miss fire. it took me six months for the penny to drop on what could have happend. I was young and indestructible, i thought then the next big mistake was to marry a ginger bird who told me that she was pregnant ... i should have run a mile .
You'll be glad to know that as a misfire you could kick it to the moon and back and only bruise your toes while it laughs at you.

If it had been a blind you might have something to worry about.
 
#6
I failed pre para once, I cried into my pies and beer for a long time afterwards, Then, I had an epiphany and realised that if I trained hard, ditched the pies and grew a pair I could pass!

A stand up fail is a killer. Still, at at least I still have my testes and bear no resemblance to Jocky Wilson in a wig.
 
#8
No regrets no life lived.

Either that or you are bullshitting yourself.
 
#10
You clearly have repressed memories. Some ARRSE therapy will help you come to terms.

I went camping down the woods with a mate of mine in the early 80's
It wasn't your mate who took you into the woods, was it? Think carefully now. It was this man, wasn't it?





, we discovered that some of the older lads had made a swing
Did the swing look like this.





my mate got the bollocks ... out.
I bet he did, the dirty old sod.


Eventually he took the rope in his hand and started ...... he was fumbling for the stick to sit on,
You are a textbook example of repressed memories of abuse. You should immediately contact a reputable psychiatrist and a disreputable journalist. Remember, you can't libel the dead and Savile's estate is worth a fortune.
 
#11
I once clicked on this thread
 
#12
You clearly have repressed memories. Some ARRSE therapy will help you come to terms.



It wasn't your mate who took you into the woods, was it? Think carefully now. It was this man, wasn't it?







Did the swing look like this.







I bet he did, the dirty old sod.




You are a textbook example of repressed memories of abuse. You should immediately contact a reputable psychiatrist and a disreputable journalist. Remember, you can't libel the dead and Savile's estate is worth a fortune.
That is the most inventive insult anyone has ever dished out to me on this site. Thank you.

Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
 
#13
I bonked a Pad's wife in Chelsea and when Mr Irate Husband and C/Sgt fronted me up, I blamed a mate. He then got a good beating. She was worth it though, the little slut!
 
#14
Brushed a bird that later offered my brother a threesome with a girlfriend. All they wanted was a bottle of Sambucca. Sometimes I wonder if Legs and his wife like Sambucca.
 
#15
Among an untold myriad of brushes with the Emperor, one of the more recent was having a go on myself with a cattle prod type shock thing to show a mate it wasn't that bad. Strangely enough there was no flopping about type histrionics, although it did leave a fairly painful burn for a couple of days.
 
#16
Regrets I've had a few but then again to few to mention. As the American crooner and friend of Mafiosi Mr Sinatra would've put it.
Paramount among them are.
Leaving the Pad wife with my oppo and another pad wife because she "just got to iron my daughters Brownie uniform." He got balls deep in both of them. Allegedly.
I'm off to the other thread to be all Mardyarrsed now.
 
#17
I once read a thread on Arrse where a depressingly large number of weak unmilitary folk posted all about their failings and how they necked gallons of brasso to blunt the pain of their shortcomings as human beings.

Surprisingly I was able to resist airing any spurious made up emotional flaws in a pathetic attempt to join a orgy of mental oneupmanship.

Now I have that is off my chest let the healing and or circle jerk of cringe worthy support begin.


Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
 
#18
I once read a thread on Arrse where a depressingly large number of weak unmilitary folk posted all about their failings and how they necked gallons of brasso to blunt the pain of their shortcomings as human beings.

Surprisingly I was able to resist airing any spurious made up emotional flaws in a pathetic attempt to join a orgy of mental oneupmanship.

Now I have that is off my chest let the healing and or circle jerk of cringe worthy support begin.


Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)

I feel your pain. Have a flower.
 
#19
Happiness is watching Jeremy Kyle and realising that socially, that shit is just a million miles away...
Happiness is watching JK and realising however bad your life might seem to you, at least you aren't ON JK...
 
#20

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