The Next sale

#1
The doris has the alarm set for half past 4
Tragic that the place will be rammed with women fighting over overpriced rags when we want them in ripped kylie shorts and cotton vests

Is your lady going?
 
#2
No. She worked for Next for 6 weeks, 18 months ago. They treat their staff like shite. She walked out. Completely out of character for her. Of 9 starters on the same week 7 others had gone by the time she left. An awful employer. Won't shop there anymore.
 
#4
Not even I shop at Next, and I'll buy any old shit.
 
#6
#7
Nope Sluggy, Just Boots and Next. Last week on the 11th birthday of Boots opening there, been having loads of electrical problems and store went up just as it was being locked up.
One of my old stores still have a lot of friends work there, they've been parcelled out to other nearby Boots until its decided whats happening.
Highly likely both stores will be flattened and rebuilt.
 
#10
I'm tempted to go and spectate. One paddling pool of rice pudding and a Next sale would be a broadcastable sport.

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#11
Not M&S, please not M&S. That's the only high point of going to visit the relatives. I get to stop off there first and buy strange and exotic foods that they don't get in Widnes. Like cheese.
don't forget their wonderful "Dine in for two" promotion which is on this weekend.
 
#12
don't forget their wonderful "Dine in for two" promotion which is on this weekend.
They don't deliver though. Tesco do the same deal, hence my OAP neighbours are having Tesco Finest chicken with lemon and herb butter and chunky chips tonight. I pull the "Oh, I can't fit this in the fridge" trick on them once every few weeks. I don't think they've sussed it yet.

I'm keeping the wine and strawberry cheesecake for myself though. There are boundaries on being generous.
 
#13
They don't deliver though. Tesco do the same deal, hence my OAP neighbours are having Tesco Finest chicken with lemon and herb butter and chunky chips tonight. I pull the "Oh, I can't fit this in the fridge" trick on them once every few weeks. I don't think they've sussed it yet.

I'm keeping the wine and strawberry cheesecake for myself though. There are boundaries on being generous.
And how ARE the neighbours' heart conditions?
 
#14
They don't deliver though. Tesco do the same deal, hence my OAP neighbours are having Tesco Finest chicken with lemon and herb butter and chunky chips tonight. I pull the "Oh, I can't fit this in the fridge" trick on them once every few weeks. I don't think they've sussed it yet.

I'm keeping the wine and strawberry cheesecake for myself though. There are boundaries on being generous.

Running short of foundation material for the patio, are we...?


I'd like to say you're a good person, but I like my skin on me where it belongs.
 
#15
I'm tempted to go and spectate. One paddling pool of rice pudding and a Next sale would be a broadcastable sport.

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You fucking mad, mate? A store full of crazed "bargain hunting" harpies spending their other's halves pay? Plus the combat indicator that any number of them could be "surfing the crimson wave" and beyond sense, reason and bloody logic, further increasing the level of hysteria? It'd like a mob ready to turn on General Gordon when he tells them that the Mahdi can do one, and Khartoum belongs to Queen Victoria thank you very much.

(And like The Snail says, it's all fucking shit anyway. What's the rush?)
 
#16
You fucking mad, mate? A store full of crazed "bargain hunting" harpies spending their other's halves pay? Plus the combat indicator that any number of them could be "surfing the crimson wave" and beyond sense, reason and bloody logic, further increasing the level of hysteria? It'd like a mob ready to turn on General Gordon when he tells them that the Mahdi can do one, and Khartoum belongs to Queen Victoria thank you very much.

(And like The Snail says, it's all fucking shit anyway. What's the rush?)
A number of Next stores, particularly those in larger malls, have different floors. Often the gents section is upstairs, with a balcony-like view down to the women's section below. If you put a baby stairgate up and turned the escalators to "down" the womenfolk would be too fat, lazy or stupid to come up and ruin your day while you'd be afforded a bird's (no pun intended) eye view down a wide array of cleavage-under-contact. Hell, you could go equipped with a few bottles of baby oil and squirt it down on them to increase the aesthetics and H&S risk factor.
 
#17
It ain't shit, and my kids have never looked so trendy, at half the price.
The Doris has been and got some reet canny bargins, leaves more wonga for my beer then.
 
#18
It ain't shit, and my kids have never looked so trendy, at half the price.
The Doris has been and got some reet canny bargins, leaves more wonga for my beer then.
Have you ever been to a Next Sale?

It's like a fucking jumble sale gone wrong with claws and stilettos.

Besides which, their Size 8 is a fucking lie. DOES IT LOOK I HAVE HIPS?

For Sale: 3 x smart suits that won't fucking fit you.
 
#19
Just spent the last hour in the scrum, lots of rabid old bags buying summer clothes in a rain storm. From where I stood they need to stock a lot more of the larger sizes as some of the women would not be out of place in the front row !!
 
#20
Have you ever been to a Next Sale?

It's like a fucking jumble sale gone wrong with claws and stilettos.

Besides which, their Size 8 is a fucking lie. DOES IT LOOK I HAVE HIPS?

For Sale: 3 x smart suits that won't fucking fit you.

I was a rapid dealer of death. Do I look like I go to NEXT sales?
Just the once.
 
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