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The New ARRSE PC Phonetic Alphabet. Let's make a start?

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#1
Having just had a chat with a Septic who had his own amusing take on the phonetic alphabet, I feel standardisation is the way forward.

Many of us are able to recite the 'Alpha, Bravo, Charlie' bollocks right through to 'X-Ray, Yankee, Zulu'.

Which is fine. Unless you are talking to a Septic. The Septics will say 'Ida' for the letter 'I'.

Fucking Ida? Who asked you to bring my Auntie Ida into the conversation you fat cunt. And while I'm on... The Boston Tea Party.... Discuss?

These sort of conversations can get in the way of operational excellence so I feel it is time to call a halt. What we need is a Universal PC Phonetic Alphabet that will work with us and all sorts of foreign scum.

And it is down to the ARRSE to lead the way. Let us start with the word 'ARRSE', then move on shall we?

'A' - Arsehole.
'R' - Ruck
'R' - Ruck
'S' - Shitbag
'E' - Edelweiss

So, the call-sign for ARRSE would be: Arsehole - Ruck - Ruck - Shitbag - Edelweiss.

Which I am sure you will agree is an improvement. The letter 'F' is already assigned, obviously. But other than that, the Committee is open to suggestions.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#10
Edelweiss is pronounced ay del vice even by non-Scousers

You may as well have H - Arrogate

Could do better Dukey!
See, that is the problem with you over privileged educated people. You do not think it through.

Let us imagine you are talking to a BT call centre operative in Hyderabad?

"A for Arrogate"

"Ah yes. 'Arry Palmer. I did love the film. So, 'Y' for "You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors of". Letter 'Y' for bloody doors, yes".

Your sort best stick to fly fishing and leave the Universal PC Phonetic Alphabet to us secondary school lads.
 
#15
It's been done:

A is Arsehole, all covered in shit - Hey Ho said Roly

B for the Bastards who reveled in it - Hey Ho, Hey Ho - Up 'em and stuff 'em - Hey Ho said Anthony Roly

C is for Cunt, all covered in Piss - Hey Ho said Roly

D for the Drunkards who gave it a kiss - Hey Ho, Hey Ho - Up 'em and stuff 'em - Hey Ho said Anthony Roly

E for etcetera ...
 
#18
It's been done:

A is Arsehole, all covered in shit - Hey Ho said Roly

B for the Bastards who reveled in it - Hey Ho, Hey Ho - Up 'em and stuff 'em - Hey Ho said Anthony Roly

C is for Cunt, all covered in Piss - Hey Ho said Roly

D for the Drunkards who gave it a kiss - Hey Ho, Hey Ho - Up 'em and stuff 'em - Hey Ho said Anthony Roly

E for etcetera ...
Oh happy days ... many moons ago sang that a few times when playing sing sing or show your ring .... ".... and XY and Z you can stick up your ARRSE "
 

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