The New ARRSE PC Phonetic Alphabet. Let's make a start?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TheIronDuke, Oct 2, 2012.

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  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Having just had a chat with a Septic who had his own amusing take on the phonetic alphabet, I feel standardisation is the way forward.

    Many of us are able to recite the 'Alpha, Bravo, Charlie' bollocks right through to 'X-Ray, Yankee, Zulu'.

    Which is fine. Unless you are talking to a Septic. The Septics will say 'Ida' for the letter 'I'.

    Fucking Ida? Who asked you to bring my Auntie Ida into the conversation you fat cunt. And while I'm on... The Boston Tea Party.... Discuss?

    These sort of conversations can get in the way of operational excellence so I feel it is time to call a halt. What we need is a Universal PC Phonetic Alphabet that will work with us and all sorts of foreign scum.

    And it is down to the ARRSE to lead the way. Let us start with the word 'ARRSE', then move on shall we?

    'A' - Arsehole.
    'R' - Ruck
    'R' - Ruck
    'S' - Shitbag
    'E' - Edelweiss

    So, the call-sign for ARRSE would be: Arsehole - Ruck - Ruck - Shitbag - Edelweiss.

    Which I am sure you will agree is an improvement. The letter 'F' is already assigned, obviously. But other than that, the Committee is open to suggestions.
  2. B-Boiled (egg)
  3. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Dunno about that one. It could lead to confusion with 'Y' - 'Your fucking anus'
  4. M - Megan
    A - Angry
    D - Deltic
    D - Deltic
    I- Isolation wing
    E - Edelweiss
    • Like Like x 2
  5. .
    S - Self
    L - Loading
    R - Rifle
    • Like Like x 4
  6. Edelweiss is pronounced ay del vice even by non-Scousers

    You may as well have H - Arrogate

    Could do better Dukey!

  8. M - Mum
    A - And
    D - Dad
    D - Dad
    I - Injects
    E - Etomidate
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Reviewer

    D - Deltic
    U - Uranus
    K - Kinky
    E - Ecstasy
  10. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    See, that is the problem with you over privileged educated people. You do not think it through.

    Let us imagine you are talking to a BT call centre operative in Hyderabad?

    "A for Arrogate"

    "Ah yes. 'Arry Palmer. I did love the film. So, 'Y' for "You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors of". Letter 'Y' for bloody doors, yes".

    Your sort best stick to fly fishing and leave the Universal PC Phonetic Alphabet to us secondary school lads.
    • Like Like x 2
  11. Bum
  12. AlienFTM

    AlienFTM LE Book Reviewer

    Shirley B is for Banjo?
  13. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    That cannot be right. There could never be an unending ruck about something as simple as a gun, here on ARRSE.
  14. S - Shawaddy
    H - Horatio
    E - Egocentric
    D - Dumb fuck
    • Like Like x 1
  15. AAGF


    It's been done:

    A is Arsehole, all covered in shit - Hey Ho said Roly

    B for the Bastards who reveled in it - Hey Ho, Hey Ho - Up 'em and stuff 'em - Hey Ho said Anthony Roly

    C is for Cunt, all covered in Piss - Hey Ho said Roly

    D for the Drunkards who gave it a kiss - Hey Ho, Hey Ho - Up 'em and stuff 'em - Hey Ho said Anthony Roly

    E for etcetera ...
    • Like Like x 1