Is it me or has a totally new army snuck in since the millenium?
It seems there are now only three ranks:

1.  Officer
2.  Warrant Officer
3.  Everyone else

This simplification of ranks seems to invite private soldiers to call you 'mate' despite being a Sgt or SSgt, or if they're female privates, not to call you anything at all!

It's also a less formal army, as you will find when asking the name of a female Lance Corporal, as she will reply "Julie".

It also seems that Officers only have to reach puberty before attaining the rank of Major and thus Command a Squadron or Company of their own.

Health and Safety has replaced broken limbs or bullet wounds to become the number one excuse for not doing work.  Such as:

"Corporal Smith, help me move this locker"

Reply : "Sorry Staff, Health & Safety - I haven't done a course in locker removal."

The old army seems to have disappeared completely.  The one where Seniors didn't have to do BFTs at all.  Now we're the only ones that pass them.  You weren't a real man unless you were breathing in Makralon dust as you sawed through it, whilst slapping carcinogenous IRR paint all over a landrover and yourself.  If you were charged, only the evidence of the senior person was taken into consideration.  In fact, the fact you were in Number 2s without belt and beret was a sure sign of guilt.  The CQMS was a mythical creature - like a dragon or a unicorn and could never be found (especially after lunch).
Finally, the good looking girls did a year's service, got married and left to have babies and work in the NAAFI.  Now they're nearly all gorgeous and the really clever ones act thick and helpless and get promoted!!

Is it me?  Or is it that I'm just an old bugger..................    
All the females are gorgeous?  What unit are you with?  We've got one or two 'operationally pretty' lasses, who for the sake of not upsetting anyone, I'll say they have no problem scoring in places like Germany.......or, the Falklands :D, where they are favoured over the hairy non English speaking Germans or the wooly non speaking sheep!

As for the clever ones playing up as thick.........all of ours do that.  Sure fire way of getting some other bugger to do your job.  Mind you, it's not just the ladies who get up to that game.  

I know of one, who is a good looking lass, who gets things done for her by the 'silly fauning brigade' just by talking to them.  Is she being clever or are they being none of them will ever bang it, the sad f*cks.  

Another clever move is the 'pregnany test'.......I'm up the duff so I can't work Sir.  You couldn't work before you were pregnant dear!   Lots of bosses on the back foot on that one because they don't read the regulations concerning pregnant soldiers, are so afraid of getting into trouble as the pregnant soldier seems to know her rights........and therefore let her get away with it all, much to the upset of the remaining troops.  If only they would read the Regs!

It gets really cute when there's a female in charge and you've got female ORs.  Do they get away with murder playing the 'girly thing' or what?  

So blue light 01, it's not you, it's just the silly gutless twats who let them all get away with it, as they are so afraid of upsetting certain people.........forgetting completely, that the majority will suffer and it is they who will be upset, as it is they who will have to graft.

ARMY...............a job for men!!...............allegedly ;D


I think the Old Army was replaced by the New Army in about 1992-93 when the first influx of girls joined a specific Corps and not just the WRAC. Bit like the BEF in 1914- wiped out and replaced by the militia!

Post Falklands the only Sgt, I ever saw was when the Cpl had dropped a bollok and was beating him up- prior to the Cpl beating us! Also WO2's- Forget it, they spent the afternoon playing snooker in the Mess- checking the property book! Pity the Pte who had to go and get the RQMS for the QM! We didn't know what to do when we entered the Sgts Mess in those days! Beret on? Beret off? Who to see the Manager or the SSgt cook? Excellent fun!

Now as stated H&S rule the roost and for a girl to be pregnant- get in the Trg Wing and amend Pam 6!

PLus I agree the 'Pretty girls definately play the game- not the Game- I only ever saw the 'facially challenged' girls grafting whilst the 'pretty one' would be making the Cpl's tea!
Have to agree with all that Ma wrote.  But from what I can see this will never change being as there are only 2 sexes.   ???

Unfortunately the female shirkers will always give those that get on and do the job a bad name but as long as (and I am sorry to say this but its usually only them) the men let them get away with it things will never improve.  H&S has far too much say these days in the modern workplace be that military or civilian and Brussels even more so  :mad: and obviously there is little that can be done about that.

For what its worth when I was in the females got away with nothing with me and from experience I know that was the case with other female senior ranks too towards those who were trying to pull the wool.  Its also an arguement I always had with the guys whose complaints usuallly were "She came crying to me saying Staff I cant get the tyre off this landrover" and bitterly complaining that she had the same training as everyone else so she should be able to do it.  When I asked what his reaction to her whinging was he replied "Did it myself or got someone else to do it"  So who is the fool here?  ???  Come on guys change it around and dont let them get away with it.   ;D


Miss N, you have more chance Yasser Afafat becoming Jewish. Blokes won't change and as long as the 'eye flutter' works then the girl will use it.

When a Sgt does stand up and be counted he finds himself infront of his OC for various 'crimes against the poor Ptes' The Sgt isn't backed up and the vicious circle continues!

But as posts in and around ARSSE, there are good females and $hit blokes, but that is the case in every walk of life! Unfortunatley when Pte X (Female) can't cut it a bloke will have to her job and his own. Never the other way around! I have served with several excellent women who put the lads to shame, but they soon see the light and get out as they are pushing water uphill with a pointed stick!

But back to the new Army original thread- I agree with the points, I am sure when I joined up just before the 1980's, all my intake were to$$ers and not worth training. Just a bit concerned where the Army will end up- an armed cub scout group!
Boys and Girls,

I understand that perhaps you lot, Sorry Staff and Sgt, are a wee bit outdated but get with the beat baby, this is 2003!

Pissed as ever

Didn't notice your feet together during that last post, weinercrack


That was one of the best articles I have seen on Arrse.

Brill :D
many a good point made, but most only have themselves to blame.
All should be treated as soldiers first and gender is second.

H&S is a good thing if looked at sensibly, most is just common sense.

So it time to bit the bullet and get on with what all soldiers do best
adapt and work the system!

happy days!
Boys' Boys, Boys you have it all wrong!!!!!!!!

There was I admit a rather strange turn of events over the last 10 years or so that saw the young Pte taking charge (irrelevant of sex). But those times they are a changin'. The young scrotes turning up today from the depot have the IQ of a pair of Iraqi gunboat mechanics coveralls.

You need to actively retake control and join me and the lads in the mess for T+T at 1000hrs.

H&S - Don't worry there are plenty of valuable courses out there to help eg: Tyre changing instructor and calm operator, taught I believe at DST.

Don't become swamped with the day to day running of the Gaff, leave it to the Cpl's who have been warned about lack of personal capabilities and the resulting three month warning order.

For the Pte with everything but respect for rank allow him or her to experience rank on a daily basis checking car passes in and out of camp. They'll either become everything you want or sign off ........... No staying power you see.

Seize control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Unfortunately the female shirkers will always give those that get on and do the job a bad name but as long as (and I am sorry to say this but its usually only them) the men let them get away with it things will never improve.
That's bo11ocks. If you do complain that a girl isn't doing what every other soldier of their rank is supposed to do, and I have done, you get called sexist and told to shut up.

I've always said sexual equality should be just that, equality. Not an option for them to get away with 'murder' by taking advantage of some sad individuals.

In my day.......
Was in a position earlier this year to view ther modern army in action , the thing that struck me most was , a sigs unit erecting tents and masts, 3 pte "girlys" and 2 pte guys and 1 L/cpl (not quite sure who was the most girlyish though) anyway the 6 mentioned here were stood around laughing joking smoking whilst 2 yes 2 sgts were erecting a tent...............I despair :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!:
Don't get me started!!

This subject grips my $hit.

I totally agree with the original post, the old Army is dead. Unfortunatley the new Army has been going to the dogs for a number of years and it will only get worse.

The youngsters seem to get everything their own way nowadays...all in the name of retention. Us old knackers seem to get all the crap and put up with it because we are the ones that have everything to lose. Let's face it, with a couple of years until your pension, you are hardly going to rock the boat are you?

THe PC Bde make efficient working a thing of the past. By the time you have sorted out all the H&S crap, there is no time to do anything else. And don't say that once you have all the H&S paperwork done that is it. Once you have got to the end of the cycle, it's time to start at the beginning with all the bone checks again. Unfortunately, the claim culture that we now live in is the cause of all the problems. No-one is responsible for their own actions anymore. If you do not look where you are walking or you are stupid enough to grab hold of a live wire you should live with the consequencies. But no.... nowadays it's always somebody elses fault that you are stupid. "Look where you are walking you prats".

Risk assessments....aaaargh. Where does it all stop? There is a risk of a plane falling out of the sky and landing on your building but do you need a risk assessment for it. If people would just use common sense and take responsibility for their own stupidity the world would be a better place.

As for discipline, what's up with the orders process? The little scrote walks in and has a comfy seat and then is able to choose when the punishment takes place!! If he appeals, the subsequent punishment cannot be more severe than the original...guess what?? they all appeal and waste even more time. It should be a case of "March in the guilty bast**d" and make them do hard time. Of couse they are guilty...they wouldn't be on orders otherwise!!!!

Sorry about the rant, I could go on but I don't think that my ideas for public floggings will be well received.



War Hero
Book Reviewer
Undertaker said:
It should be a case of "March in the guilty bast**d" and make them do hard time. Of couse they are guilty...they wouldn't be on orders otherwise!!!!

Brilliant - takes me back to late 60's OC's driver is tabbed in on a minor charge. After charge read out the OC asks if he has anything to say. He gave usual answer 'Nothing to say Sir'. OC says 'You have been charged with an offence you must have something to say. March him out Sarn't Major and bring him back in 10 minutes'. 10 minutes later marched back in. OC'Well have you anything to say to this charge?' Accused 'Well Sir it was like this .............. (5 mins later) and that was the reason Sir'. OC looks him straight in the eye and says 'You are a F**king liar - fined £10. March him out' Accused devastated - escort (me) in stitches. :!: :!: :!:
I have to say I agree whole heartedly with the 'March in the guilty B'stard' tactic. At least you knew were you stood!!!! get over it and on with it

I rightly or wrongly have a little informative chat with individuals some times prior to them going on orders to let them know exactly how guilty they are. And do you know its amazing how many of them agree!!!

Effing human Rights my ar*e!!!!! no NAAFI pies for a week and its all over.

As to my avatar, the medals represent just how many i have and if i could get some more then I would be even more deserving. If a Tw*t who plays football for £100,000 a week deserves the OBE then I deserve some more to be honest!!!!!
This "the Army is getting worse, standard of Scrots today etc) stuff really grips my shite!!!
The end of the day your SNCO's sort it out!
Discipline your Scrots and educate your superiors.
Yes current Legislation makes it more difficult, but the end of the day all you have to do is know QR's. Human Rights Act, stuff it ! You don't get sued, its the MOD that does.
As for risk assesments they're just that, read the words, you do a risk assesment for something relevent, you can cut and paste somebody elses.
At the end of the day have some "morale courage" e.g the guy who saw the Sigs skiving and the Sgts working, did he say owt (see earlier post)
I recently read a book with quotes from SNCO's in Wellingtons day whinging about the same thing
Basically if you can't discipline your troops, hand your tapes in and F*CK OFF!! :D :D :D

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