The New 24 Hour Rat Packs

Discussion in 'Cookery' started by Proximo, Jun 10, 2008.

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  1. Folks,

    Some of you may have seen the news about the new rat packs being trialled. We had them out in Belize and they have probably reached further afield.

    As we all know, our rations are very popular - at least in content terms, if not calorific value.

    So in order to cater for foreign forces who may well use our rations on multinational operations, we are now bringing a range of menu items to appeal to them. A non-exhaustive list is below:

    1. Croissants - sealed in a bag of nitrogen to ensure freshness. It comes with a pat of butter and a choice of preserves i.e. jams.
    2. Bananas and Kiwi fruit - it would seem that they are the most potent 'bang-for-buck' fruit going.
    3. Chicken drumsticks - presumably will be a big favourite for many. The jury is out about adding pots of dip i.e. BBQ etc.
    4. Digestive biscuits - in addition, results from ongoing studies indicate that crushed digestive biscuits have excellent blood absorption properties so could be used in extremis for that purpose.
    5. Free range and organic pates - results from in-field trials suggest these will be/are very popular with European elements.
    6. Eggs. These will probably be sealed in a nitrogen atmosphere (similar to croissants) and will be packaged in a crush-resist shell made largely from seaweed protein to ensure full bio-degradability.

    The new range of 10 man packs will include full joints of meat i.e. beef, lamb etc, all suitably packaged and protected.

    In addition, there will be some new sundry items, notably a combination P-38 can opener/lighter, washable tissues and collapsible KFS, made out of the same seaweed protein base (see above).

    The 24 version comes in a box that fits neatly (just!) into a standard PLCE utility pouch. It is intended that these rats will be rolled out for large-scale testing in the post-Summer block leave exercise period before being sent to theatres: Iraq first.

    Comments? I think it's about time our rats got an overhaul.
  2. Thank you to those who have PM'd. I will endeavour to get the fielding programme onto this board and yes - volunteers are always needed!
  3. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    What about drinks? Is there a "Whitbread Best Bitter" powder for example?
  4. A Caraffe of wine for the French/Spanish contingents
  5. Will there still be range cards on the boxes?
  6. You actually had me going until you got to:

    Powdered milk and proper tea bags should be the first thing to go back into ration backs.
  7. There was never anything beter than a 10 man pack. Tinned Pears and peaches!
  8. Tinned sausages :wink:
  9. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    I'd volunteer to try them out for you!

    Got any halal stuff?
  10. Bring back the canned bacon grill!
    Keep your cheese though
  11. You can buy canned bacon grill at the Co-op.

    It's normally on the aisle next to the Spam, Pot Noodles and various Polish comestibles.
  12. Cheese possessed on an oatmeal block with strawberry jam, perfect as a post compo all inner desert. :wink:
  13. Wrong on so many levels.
    next you'll be telling me you used the tubes of milk as toothpaste :wink:
  14. No, but we had great fun with the blue salt pots.

    On ex we used to pour salt in the mouths of the lads who were asleep then shout stand to and see who was the first one to puke. :wink:
  15. Quality :D
    Seen a similar thing done with screech powder but the results werent quite as effective.
    Although the boss did wonder why people were foaming at the mouth.