The Nature and History of Walting

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by GUNGA, Jul 26, 2009.

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  1. I am curious as to when the practise of walting became widespread. Historically, Shakespeare's Falstaff was clearly a walt, it may be that some guys even made pretence to be on Walsingham's spy pay roll. In essence,however, it seems to be a late 20th century practice. No Victorian would want to impersonate the achievements of the licentious soldiery, however brave.Maybe the first modern walts were post WW1 ? I suspect that the paras and SAS have more than anyone else because of their glam image ? No walt is going to pretend to have been RCT or REME are they, does anyone know of one ? Would be interesting to know.

    No offence to lads in RCT or REME - just curious!
  2. 17 th Century Walting song:This chap was "first on the balcony of the Spanish Armada"

    The Jovial Broom Man, the tune to which Jamaica is danced.

    Room for a lad that's come from seas,
    Hey! Jolly Broom Man,
    That gladly now would take his ease,
    And therefore make me room man.
    To France, the Netherlands and Spain,
    Hey! Jolly Broom Man,
    I crossed the seas and back again,
    And therefore make me room man.

    Yet in these countries there lived I,
    Hey! Jolly Broom Man,
    The valiant soldiers I've seen die
    And therefore make me room man.
    Ten hundred gallants there I killed,
    Hey! Jolly Broom Man,
    And besides a world of blood I spilled,
    And therefore make me room man.

    In Germany I took a town,
    Hey! Jolly Broom Man,
    Threw the walls there upside down,
    And therefore make me room man.
    At Tilbury Camp with Captain Drake
    Hey! Jolly Broom Man,
    I made the Spanish fleet to quake,
    And therefore make me room man.

    At Holland Leaguer there I fought,
    Hey! Jolly Broom Man,
    But there the service proved too hot,
    And therefore make me room man.
    Then from the League returned I
    Hey! Jolly Broom Man,
    Naked, Hungry, cold and dry
    And therefore make me room man.

    But here I've now 'compassed the globe.
    Hey! Jolly Broom Man,
    And I'm returned a poor as Job,
    And therefore make me room man.
    And now I'm safe returned here,
    Hey! Jolly Broom Man,
    Here's to you in a cup of English beer,
    And therefore make me room man.
  3. Wasnt there a walt described on ARRSE as saying that he had been in the RA doing "sneaky peaky stuff"?
  4. Could be that walting is down to getting a shag . I think you'll find prostitution was respectable in the 19th century compared today therefore anyone after a leg over could visit a brothel without any shame

    The sexual revolution of the 1960s meant that women could put it about . So I guess if someone who's had a lifelong problem of getting laid tries to impress girls by pretending to be a killing machine

    It's interesting that the large amount of freaks here

    are almost always out to impress girls
  5. Tacitus was a Walt, just trying to suck up to his father-in-law Agricola who probable wasn't
  6. Broons a walt, making out he's a prime minister.
  7. He's no Walt, He's a CNUT
  8. Could it be something to do with a general lowering of self-esteem? Toiling all day in a boring job, dreaming of the sort of exciting life that only exists on crappy television programmes; jobsworths must envy the pride and the cameraderie that you see among the military.

    They don't want to earn it because it's hard work for little pay and is dangerous.

    So they just get themselves a uniform, get a few hints about the lingo from arrsepedia and big themselves up.

    We all want glamour and success, but few of us want to fight to get it.

    It's also a post-Iranian seige phenomenon. Up until then, hardly anybody had heard of the SAS, I would say. Now, they're all over the place - life-size cut outs of some of them 'nastied up' in Smiths, etc. Publicity like that is bound to bring out the wannabes.

    General lack of self-esteem + lashings of publicity / media interest = Waltism
  9. Ancient Pistol (Shakespeare again, Henry V) takes walting to the higher level of claiming battle wounds. After a shoeing from a Welshman for taking the piss, he says:

  10. There are some eod / demining walts too. Mostly they have very short haircuts, a thousand yard stare and a leatherman on their belt (the leatherman is optional though). I came across one such in Maputo a few years ago and entered the room just in time to hear him tell his adoring listeners that he always knew when he was near a minefield as he had a "sixth sense". Pity it's bollocks or he'd have made a fortune as a human mine detector.

    I met another one in Cambodia ten years ago. He was frothing about the gash with his self proclaimed intention to save the world from landmines, working as a "volunteer" for one of the demining NGO's having got funding from uk churches (or so he told me). A couple of weeks later he brought an item of explosive ordnance back from the field to the house he was staying in and gave to his houseboy to clean up, whilst he went strutting around the bars impressing the tourists with his thousand yard stare.

    Inevitably there was an explosion at the house and the houseboy fed the local dogs that night (over quite a wide area too). The said walt did a runner, the cowardly c unt, leaving others to clean up his mess. He apparently lives in Sheffield now. I might meet him again one day.

    Edited for reasons
  11. Think that's something of a myth . Harold Wilson announced he was sending the SAS to the bandit country in 1976 and the hero was this bizarre show was a former SAS soldier

    And watching The Professionals the SAS do get a mention in a couple of episodes . In fact I think Bodie is ex-SAS
  12. All right have it your way, he's a walting c unt!

  13. There is a walt in Victorian fiction, Jos Sedley in Thackeray's Vanity Fair who kits himself out in pseudo-military uniform and accompanies Wellington's army to Brussels in 1815. However he legs it from there during the battle when he hears that the French are coming but that does not preventing him biging himself up to others on the ship back to Bengal where he's employed as an Honourable East India Company civil servant.

  14. Thanks lads some excellent examples I'll work it up into a history of walting for Arrsepedia:)
  15. Dont forget that the walts are the victims in all this,

    oh, my dogs docs are lost,my MM was so secret that it couldn't be posted, I will prove it in time,my lawer will be onto you.

    A big boy done it and ran away :D