The Muslim Eskimo! A poem (No disrespect to Eskimos intended) I have (praise be) seen the light With the Prophet as my guide I pray to Allah day and night To unbelievers woe betide You cross my path and you will know I am a Muslim Eskimo! Of huskies I had a band Now gone the dirty dogs Unclean in manner and So it is true are hogs. Sheep are good in many ways though I am a Muslim Eskimo! I use my sheep to pull my sled But they run slow Many end up dead My life is woe By Allah on I go I am a Muslim Eskimo! The women are scarce round here Too many a Muslim brother Taken many wives I fear But the sheep I can bother Between me and ewe. No? I am a Muslim Eskimo! By stealth and by guile I fight Into my right hand posess A lively woman. Every night When I want I caress And into my tilth I go I am a Muslim Eskimo! By and by wives two three and four I am occupied, busy now Offspring by the score We are become a tribe but how With mouths to feed, what to do? I am a Muslim Eskimo! The solution I espy I approach quite near Christians! Joyfully I cry I can tax them very dear To demonstrate superiority though I am a Muslim Eskimo! My wives' bellies get fat The Christians are getting skinny I wear a wooly hat The days are somewhat chilly The Christians start to die, but so? I am a Muslim Eskimo! The days are short and The nights are long Now is the feast of Ramadan Plenty of exercise for the tongue Mutton and butter and ample dough I am a Muslim Eskimo! A few years come and go All praise to Allah above I can see a problem though It is: The nights have Gone. All is woe I am a Muslim Eskimo! Now is the fast of Ramadan A whole month long With not a drop to drink and Not to eat. My tongue Has turned yellow I am a Muslim Eskimo! We are all faint With hunger We taint Our anger And curse our Mo I am a Muslim Eskimo! An idea pops into my head A travelling we must go Quick get the sled Rouse the sheep and so Through the snow we plough I am a Muslim Eskimo! If you travel you may eat And drink. Make merry What a genius feat To move and not to tarry Happy I am now though I am a Muslim Eskimo! Making endless circles in the snow My plan is in action Not a single problem so Let us eat luncheon We feast and guzzle as we go I am a Muslim Eskimo! But look, our provisions are all eaten We shall eat the sheep that pull the sled We are not so easily beaten That one there, grab its head Slit its throat so I am a Muslim Eskimo! The red blood flows upon the pristine white The animal struggles for a minute or two Then the end, its last fight Chop chop, a piece for me and a piece for you Halal we keep, the rest we throw I am a Muslim Eskimo! One by one the sheep are gone Slower and slower runs the sled Of further progress there is none Now for certain we are all dead This is the last terrible low I am no more a Muslim Eskimo! There is a lesson from the Arctic Know full well. This is certain Islam is a miserable trick Long overdue for its final curtain Reincarnation works for me now I was a Muslim Eskimo! St George True Humanity needs peace not Islam.