The Muslim Eskimo! A poem

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by St_George_true, Feb 19, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. The Muslim Eskimo! A poem

    (No disrespect to Eskimos intended)

    I have (praise be) seen the light
    With the Prophet as my guide
    I pray to Allah day and night
    To unbelievers woe betide
    You cross my path and you will know
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    Of huskies I had a band
    Now gone the dirty dogs
    Unclean in manner and
    So it is true are hogs.
    Sheep are good in many ways though
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    I use my sheep to pull my sled
    But they run slow
    Many end up dead
    My life is woe
    By Allah on I go
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    The women are scarce round here
    Too many a Muslim brother
    Taken many wives I fear
    But the sheep I can bother
    Between me and ewe. No?
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    By stealth and by guile I fight
    Into my right hand posess
    A lively woman. Every night
    When I want I caress
    And into my tilth I go
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    By and by wives two three and four
    I am occupied, busy now
    Offspring by the score
    We are become a tribe but how
    With mouths to feed, what to do?
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    The solution I espy
    I approach quite near
    Christians! Joyfully I cry
    I can tax them very dear
    To demonstrate superiority though
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    My wives' bellies get fat
    The Christians are getting skinny
    I wear a wooly hat
    The days are somewhat chilly
    The Christians start to die, but so?
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    The days are short and
    The nights are long
    Now is the feast of Ramadan
    Plenty of exercise for the tongue
    Mutton and butter and ample dough
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    A few years come and go
    All praise to Allah above
    I can see a problem though
    It is: The nights have
    Gone. All is woe
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    Now is the fast of Ramadan
    A whole month long
    With not a drop to drink and
    Not to eat. My tongue
    Has turned yellow
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    We are all faint
    With hunger
    We taint
    Our anger
    And curse our Mo
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    An idea pops into my head
    A travelling we must go
    Quick get the sled
    Rouse the sheep and so
    Through the snow we plough
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    If you travel you may eat
    And drink. Make merry
    What a genius feat
    To move and not to tarry
    Happy I am now though
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    Making endless circles in the snow
    My plan is in action
    Not a single problem so
    Let us eat luncheon
    We feast and guzzle as we go
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    But look, our provisions are all eaten
    We shall eat the sheep that pull the sled
    We are not so easily beaten
    That one there, grab its head
    Slit its throat so
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    The red blood flows upon the pristine white
    The animal struggles for a minute or two
    Then the end, its last fight
    Chop chop, a piece for me and a piece for you
    Halal we keep, the rest we throw
    I am a Muslim Eskimo!

    One by one the sheep are gone
    Slower and slower runs the sled
    Of further progress there is none
    Now for certain we are all dead
    This is the last terrible low
    I am no more a Muslim Eskimo!

    There is a lesson from the Arctic
    Know full well. This is certain
    Islam is a miserable trick
    Long overdue for its final curtain
    Reincarnation works for me now
    I was a Muslim Eskimo!

    St George True

    Humanity needs peace not Islam.
  2. Too late.

  3. I bet he comes back with the old one, ''some of my best friends are Eskimos''...!
    He, the noble St George, is using this crap poem to plug his equally crap anti-Muslim web-blog..
  4. TO THE HOLE! :sentemail:
  5. That was shit
  6. St George true

    2 posts in four months

    thank what ever god you pray to for that - keep up your head of productive steam

  7. Or preferably just take it easy.
  8. You're getting a bill for the time I wasted reading that.

    Your blog's shit.
  9. At least he's consistent.
  10. 'sets low standards, and persistanly fails to achieve them'

    cant you tell its CR season
  11. Mistersoft

    Im impressed, you live near Assen - could that be crazy dutch for Arrse?
  12. If you've been to Assen you'll know.

    A bit like Braintree but with much more phlegm.