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The most stupid thing a user has brought to you.

#1
After todays special moment I've decided to see what other stupid things encountered whilst repairing kit. I had a rifle brought in today and was told a round was stuck in the chamber, not a problem. Usual rod down the barrel and tap it out, until I was given the rifle. The working parts were an inch or so to the rear and I couldn't believe what was there. The round jammed in the chamber was in fact in there backwards, somehow someone had managed to get a blank round fed from a magazine into the weapon. I despair at some of these lot. :)
 
#4
I had an LMG brought in that had the fault "crack in barrel". Investigation found no such crack but we were able to point out to the user the location of the gas port.

I also had an SLR and 2 SMG that had been involved in a tent-fire in Norway. All the springs had lost their heat treatment and so were at their compressed lengths. From the same AMF ex I was also given an SLR that looked normal from the gas block backwards; forwards of the gas block was a big S bend in the barrel. The User had been marshalling a Puma with a 105mm Light Gun underslung. As the Puma came in he took a few steps bag when the downdraught hit him. He then marshalled the Puma to lower the Light Gun onto where he'd left his rifle...
 
#5
Got called out to a 432 on salisbury plain somewhere near the watertower, got there cmdr said he and driver were struggling to hear each other. Jumped in shocked at fact driver had already removed piano boards, went to start up looked at temp it was off the scale. Wouldnt start( thermal trip) turned out idiots had left piano boards in camp, started by the time they got them brought out in a rover
 
#7
Series 3 Land Dog wouldn't start...jumped in, turned the fuel tap to the other tank and after a bit of cranking it started up....

Got called out to a Land Dog (90) with no drive. Quizzed driver...have you tried everything mate? you know, is it in gear? is the centre diff engaged?


Jumped in, popped centre diff in and drove off...twat :lol:
 
#8
Got called out in the CRARRV to a tank on salisbury plain, was the Sqb Ldrs tank also if that makes any difference, tank was in a gully in some fairly heavy tracks.

Pulled up, gun over side and i stepped off CRARRV onto back decks,

Me: Morning Sir whats the problem?

Sqn Ldr: Ah morning Cpl ASS our ME will not start!

Me: Ok No probs lets have a look.

I asked the driver to try and start. Cue the ME turning over and thick black smoke pouring from the exhausts.

Me: Jump out mate lets have a look in there.

Jumped in, centralised the tillers and it fired straight up. The Dvr had been attempting to start it up in a full right stick.

The Sqn Ldr was fairly unamused about that one!!
 
#9
I had a set of Osprey presented with a dent in the inside at the front and a load of blood over it for 1043 Action!! The bloke had been shot from behind through the side. Point being it is not a 1043 item
 
#10
Sent a guy off to see the AQ with a hammer and "the" note. The idiot (by that I mean the cfn, not the AQ!) spoke to a mate on the way, put the hammer down and forgot to give it to the AQ, presenting him with just the note...

"Gimme more leave n' pay or I'll hammer yer balls to the wall!!"

"Oh yeah? With what?"

heh heh heh!!!
 
#11
Not quite user but;

During a PRE on my Scimitar by a non unit, newly promoted, trying to be keen Tiffy (hard to believe I know but it was on ops) he wrote down "A" "Tighten coolant pump drive belt" and then had to cross it out minutes later when I politely informed him it was tightened by a spring loaded jockey pulley. :roll:
 
#12
Devilishdave said:
I had a set of Osprey presented with a dent in the inside at the front and a load of blood over it for 1043 Action!! The bloke had been shot from behind through the side. Point being it is not a 1043 item
I would have billed him for it.
 
#13
Again not quite user but I found it amusing at the time.

Sea King Mk4, new radio system fitted, nice fancy aerial that did IFF and V/UHF all in one, first flight the guys took off, bad radio reception and the IFF wasn't working.

Take off the aerial, check it and it's blown, all the electronics inside were fried. Got a new one and fitted it, same happened....so quick check of the cable routings and the muppets who'd fitted the system had wired the IFF into the dynamic VHF port and the VHF into the IFF port....rather embarrassed Radio supplier and fitter who were all there for the trials and had been insisting it was the ground station at fault.

S_R
 
#15
Probably the 2nd Lieutenat in the Scots Guards who brought a trip flare into the amourers shop, dumped in on my desk and said "It didn't go off on the exercise"

The Tech QM arranged for him to have 20 extra duties and as he did Piquet Officer each duty was one week long!
 
#16
RSupwood said:
Probably the 2nd Lieutenat in the Scots Guards who brought a trip flare into the amourers shop, dumped in on my desk and said "It didn't go off on the exercise"

The Tech QM arranged for him to have 20 extra duties and as he did Piquet Officer each duty was one week long!
Unfortunately if that happened in this place I'd be the one getting blamed by the QM for it not going off. :roll:
 
#17
While on red top fitters a few years ago, a young Black Watch driver came in complaining of his Rover 110 pissing out lots of black smoke & having no power. When I checked the air filter I found it was brand new although the driver insisted he'd changed it last week & had been out on the prarie every day. His explanation when I then found the dusty rag stuffed into the air intake "I thought it would help keep the filter clean, I'm sick of changing it!!!!" Guess where the rag nearly got stuffed next!!
 
#18
Squadron senior pilot and senior officer stamp into the line office at Soest circa 1975 demanding to know who had signed the preflight on the Gazelle they were taking as the tailrotor driveshaft bearings were noisy and the aircraft was u/s.

The offending corporal mech was publicly berated and the pilot demanded another aircraft be prepared.

The offending mech volunteered to preflight a second aircraft. Out he went span all the rotors on the remaining 4 Gazelles returned to the line office and placed the same defect "tail rotor driveshaft bearings noisy" in all 4 700's. Grounding the lot of them!!!!!!!!!!

Top man
 
#19
As the Soest story is so much ancient history I think a name would not go amiss for those who remember him, Steve Goodall. Long time tech rep for Sikorsky Helicopters in the UK.

I also witnessed the junking of a 700 page at Kesh in '76.

We had a spate of pilots snagging aircraft for flying faults on Scouts all requiring investigation and airtests with no faults identified. It got so bad that we had a chalk board with "Todays Duty Snag Is" followed by divergent yaw or some similar fault on the wall.

In came a new lieutenant pilot to snag an aircraft with some imagined flying fault for the third or forth time in a week on a virgin 700 page.
The line sergeant Alex Garty another top engineer removed it screwed it into a ball and calmly started writing out a new page for the 700.

After that the reported flying faults diminished to a more normal level!!!
 
#20
vampireuk said:
After todays special moment I've decided to see what other stupid things encountered whilst repairing kit. I had a rifle brought in today and was told a round was stuck in the chamber, not a problem. Usual rod down the barrel and tap it out, until I was given the rifle. The working parts were an inch or so to the rear and I couldn't believe what was there. The round jammed in the chamber was in fact in there backwards, somehow someone had managed to get a blank round fed from a magazine into the weapon. I despair at some of these lot. :)
Not quite the same but I remember an RTR gunnery instructor being gobsmacked during a GPMG lesson, when one of the students loaded a belt of drill rounds upside down, successfully closed the top cover and cocked the weapon. The instructor said some very interesting words trying to unjam everything and work out how the student had done it...

8O 8O 8O 8O

Rodney2q
 

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