The most stupid thing a user has brought to you.

Discussion in 'REME' started by vampireuk, Dec 9, 2008.

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  1. After todays special moment I've decided to see what other stupid things encountered whilst repairing kit. I had a rifle brought in today and was told a round was stuck in the chamber, not a problem. Usual rod down the barrel and tap it out, until I was given the rifle. The working parts were an inch or so to the rear and I couldn't believe what was there. The round jammed in the chamber was in fact in there backwards, somehow someone had managed to get a blank round fed from a magazine into the weapon. I despair at some of these lot. :)
  2. Once saw a CPL top up a radiator of a landrover with OIL in front of a whole crowd!
    strangely the LAD weren't that impressed :roll:
  3. I was once brought a new Cfn Technician, just posted in.
  4. I had an LMG brought in that had the fault "crack in barrel". Investigation found no such crack but we were able to point out to the user the location of the gas port.

    I also had an SLR and 2 SMG that had been involved in a tent-fire in Norway. All the springs had lost their heat treatment and so were at their compressed lengths. From the same AMF ex I was also given an SLR that looked normal from the gas block backwards; forwards of the gas block was a big S bend in the barrel. The User had been marshalling a Puma with a 105mm Light Gun underslung. As the Puma came in he took a few steps bag when the downdraught hit him. He then marshalled the Puma to lower the Light Gun onto where he'd left his rifle...
  5. Got called out to a 432 on salisbury plain somewhere near the watertower, got there cmdr said he and driver were struggling to hear each other. Jumped in shocked at fact driver had already removed piano boards, went to start up looked at temp it was off the scale. Wouldnt start( thermal trip) turned out idiots had left piano boards in camp, started by the time they got them brought out in a rover
  6. I don't know where to start with this one :lol:
  7. Series 3 Land Dog wouldn't start...jumped in, turned the fuel tap to the other tank and after a bit of cranking it started up....

    Got called out to a Land Dog (90) with no drive. Quizzed driver...have you tried everything mate? you know, is it in gear? is the centre diff engaged?

    Jumped in, popped centre diff in and drove off...twat :lol:
  8. Got called out in the CRARRV to a tank on salisbury plain, was the Sqb Ldrs tank also if that makes any difference, tank was in a gully in some fairly heavy tracks.

    Pulled up, gun over side and i stepped off CRARRV onto back decks,

    Me: Morning Sir whats the problem?

    Sqn Ldr: Ah morning Cpl ASS our ME will not start!

    Me: Ok No probs lets have a look.

    I asked the driver to try and start. Cue the ME turning over and thick black smoke pouring from the exhausts.

    Me: Jump out mate lets have a look in there.

    Jumped in, centralised the tillers and it fired straight up. The Dvr had been attempting to start it up in a full right stick.

    The Sqn Ldr was fairly unamused about that one!!
  9. I had a set of Osprey presented with a dent in the inside at the front and a load of blood over it for 1043 Action!! The bloke had been shot from behind through the side. Point being it is not a 1043 item
  10. Sent a guy off to see the AQ with a hammer and "the" note. The idiot (by that I mean the cfn, not the AQ!) spoke to a mate on the way, put the hammer down and forgot to give it to the AQ, presenting him with just the note...

    "Gimme more leave n' pay or I'll hammer yer balls to the wall!!"

    "Oh yeah? With what?"

    heh heh heh!!!
  11. Not quite user but;

    During a PRE on my Scimitar by a non unit, newly promoted, trying to be keen Tiffy (hard to believe I know but it was on ops) he wrote down "A" "Tighten coolant pump drive belt" and then had to cross it out minutes later when I politely informed him it was tightened by a spring loaded jockey pulley. :roll:
  12. I would have billed him for it.
  13. Sympathetic_Reaction

    Sympathetic_Reaction LE Book Reviewer

    Again not quite user but I found it amusing at the time.

    Sea King Mk4, new radio system fitted, nice fancy aerial that did IFF and V/UHF all in one, first flight the guys took off, bad radio reception and the IFF wasn't working.

    Take off the aerial, check it and it's blown, all the electronics inside were fried. Got a new one and fitted it, same quick check of the cable routings and the muppets who'd fitted the system had wired the IFF into the dynamic VHF port and the VHF into the IFF port....rather embarrassed Radio supplier and fitter who were all there for the trials and had been insisting it was the ground station at fault.

  14. ^
    Geeeeeeeeeeek alert!
  15. Probably the 2nd Lieutenat in the Scots Guards who brought a trip flare into the amourers shop, dumped in on my desk and said "It didn't go off on the exercise"

    The Tech QM arranged for him to have 20 extra duties and as he did Piquet Officer each duty was one week long!