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The most remote KFC in the world?

Took a chance and sent them a CV for a job on South Georgia, but apparently they want you weak chinned Pommie bastards, not we handsome and studly Saffers.
 
Took a chance and sent them a CV for a job on South Georgia, but apparently they want you weak chinned Pommie bastards, not we handsome and studly Saffers.
Crocs, slush and penguin shit are jnot a fine mix.
Edit: It 2002 when I was there we could wander where we wanted. Went to the grave etc also.

My only dit fro there is that...some onboard did some exped over some glacier and...we sailed and picked them up at the other side. Only proiblem was though...the ratpacks they took had been secrectley stashed beforehand and...I'd been secretly nicking my favourite things out of them.

A Naval party on RNR conducted an exped over some gklacier in South georgia and discovered there was no butterscotch pudding or Chicken in brown sauce. I think they did it on Wrigleys spearmint actually.

Bally heroes

Lynx went out...
 
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Most penguins are OK, although quite protective and territorial around their nests. King and Emperor penguins are a bugger though. Their beaks are at the perfect level to shred your danglies walking through their colonies trying to capture, weigh and tag chicks.
 
Crocs, slush and penguin shit are jnot a fine mix.

Had to wear wellies tagging them, partly for protection against fur seals having a go. I'd have gone bare foot if I could as one tends to be a bit nippier that way, but those rocks are pretty sharp.

Team leader stepped across a gap between rocks and got nailed in the groin by a big male lunging upwards. Shredded his denims and missed his nads by a hair. Thought the bloke was going to puke, he went that green.
 
Had to wear wellies tagging them, partly for protection against fur seals having a go. I'd have gone bare foot if I could as one tends to be a bit nippier that way, but those rocks are pretty sharp.

Team leader stepped across a gap between rocks and got nailed in the groin by a big male lunging upwards. Shredded his denims and missed his nads by a hair. Thought the bloke was going to puke, he went that green.
Attenborough has a lot to answer for. People think seals are cute little things.


They are smelly bitey bastards.
Edit: And penguins are c*nts too. The shit, crap, none-flying birdy bastards.
 
Yup. If seals are used to you and don't see you as a threat they're OK, but can be very defensive with pups around and in mating season. Penguins will defend their nests but in the water they're curious and will come up for a good look. Seals too. They've come right up to the mask for a butchers with a grid full of whiskers up against mine when I've been quiet and not made any sudden movements.

Smelly buggers though, and the moaning and hooting during mating season is not conducive to sleep.

There's a beach in Cape Town which is now a penguin reserve for the right on trendy eco warriors to ooh and ah over them, but as a kid I used to dive and snorkel there and got my first fish spearfishing in the kelp. Plenty of penguins about and they were quite laid back about humans. Never gave me any shit and we just left each other alone, apart from the odd fish remnant I bunged their way after nabbing the fillets.

Jackass penguins, now called African penguins due to some right on fuckwittery about the name being offensive to Pertwee and Isolde who spent zero time among them before it became fashionable. The cunts.
 

Oyibo

LE
snipped

There's a beach in Cape Town which is now a penguin reserve for the right on trendy eco warriors to ooh and ah over them, but as a kid I used to dive and snorkel there and got my first fish spearfishing in the kelp. Plenty of penguins about and they were quite laid back about humans. Never gave me any shit and we just left each other alone, apart from the odd fish remnant I bunged their way after nabbing the fillets.

Jackass penguins, now called African penguins due to some right on fuckwittery about the name being offensive to Pertwee and Isolde who spent zero time among them before it became fashionable. The cunts.

Boulders Beach I assume? Very overrated IMO
 
Is it too early to play my Tristan Da Cuhna card?
 
Boulders Beach I assume? Very overrated IMO

Si. Boulders it is. Lots of occy in the area as well. I recall a Brit matelot succumbing to a blue ringed occy at Seaforth in the '60s. Grabbed a couple of the other less bitey variety at Boulders for luncheon, along with the spearo maneouvres.

Dashed fine scoff is yer braaied occy, with olive oil, herbs and a green salad.


Is it too early to play my Tristan Da Cuhna card?

Nice island. Did you get ratted with the locals in the DoE hall? Bunch of genuine piss artists, but top blokes to a man. Got chased by a pig near the lava flow one afternoon while recovering from a murderous hangover. I think he was just trying to be friendly and looking for an ear tickle, but I was too sick to care. No angry squealing or anything, just trotted after me at Warp Factor 7 as I made my way back to the settlement. Big bugger, so I decided to leg it.
 

O Zangado

War Hero
Can't remember the exact year, but some time in the mid nineties I was invited to the opening of the first McD's in what was then Western Samoa, which is a very long way from anywhere*, so much so that even penguins and seals don't bother going. Plenty of sharks and wild hogs though, all equally aggressive if disturbed..

OZ

*Apart from the festering hole that is their neighbour, American Samoa
 
Si. Boulders it is. Lots of occy in the area as well. I recall a Brit matelot succumbing to a blue ringed occy at Seaforth in the '60s. Grabbed a couple of the other less bitey variety at Boulders for luncheon, along with the spearo maneouvres.

Dashed fine scoff is yer braaied occy, with olive oil, herbs and a green salad.




Nice island. Did you get ratted with the locals in the DoE hall? Bunch of genuine piss artists, but top blokes to a man. Got chased by a pig near the lava flow one afternoon while recovering from a murderous hangover. I think he was just trying to be friendly and looking for an ear tickle, but I was too sick to care. No angry squealing or anything, just trotted after me at Warp Factor 7 as I made my way back to the settlement. Big bugger, so I decided to leg it.
We'd anchored off. The locals all came up to the ship on longboat things- with massive tuna fish in them that they'd caught. The supply officer must have done some sort of deal because they were then loaded onto the ship. Several were still flapping about / gills going etc. Casco baton sorted that out.

a football match was arranged between the locals and some of the sportier members of the ships company. I, and a few like-minded others decided hardcore boozing was the order of the day. We went to the postoffice / main shop type thing and iirc -gin was all they had in store. Rest of the day was spent sat by the black cliffs / beach swigging gin out of a bottle. My hazardous duty lifejacket is probably still stashed thereabouts.
 
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Really thick wurzel type accents as well. Barely understood one word in three, worse when getting ratfaced with them, despite being the official translator from porridge wog to English for the Frogginese and Canuckistanis at work when dealing with the fizzing red security bloke.
 
I assume the museum is for cruise ships?

Well, unless it has a lot of fresh fish, it ain't for the seals or penguins.
 

arfah

LE
They’ve got penguins at Southend Sealife Centre.

Not easy getting the wrappers off with cold hands though.

TAXI !!!
 
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