The most manly thing

#1
I've just done the most manly thing in my whole life. I'm so proud.

So im sat there in the hotel bar after listening to some shite work conference all day long (Meanwhile drinking all this time) I decide to get up and go to the bar for another drink. This is where the inner rumblings start. I need a shit. Desperatley. So looking around i see no visible bathroom and decide to head up to my room to do my buisness. Walking over towards the lift something i can only describe as an arrse WMD errupted from me rear end, the s mellyest fart i have ever done in my life. Now at this poinit im touching cloth, so close to shitting its unreal. I'm now stood in the corner of the lift, packed with posh hotel guests, clenching my arrse together praying i get to my room when all of a sudden i cant contain it any longer, my system finaly gives way to the urge to shit and i let out a massive arrse trumpet followed by a river of shit down the inside of my suit trousers.

The lift is evac'd at the next floor by everyone but me as im stood in the corner in a puddle of my own shit laughing my tits off.
 
#6
You were in the hotel bar and there were no downstairs toilets? You're either telling porkies or your staying at travel lodge.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
#9
Already been done and better too IMO :-http://www.arrse.co.uk/naafi-bar/149468-anal-assault.html
 
M

Mr_Tigger

Guest
#12
I believe an arrser recently coined the term ‘untruthist untruthist pantaloons aflame’ to describe your sort.
That or you need to spend less time with your pool boy and hope you soon regain some of that lost elasticity.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#14
You're bored at the moment aren't you jarrod?
I'm just on my second can and about to cook my dinner. I can't decide whether to have new potatoes or chips. The dog needs brushing but he's fell back to sleep. Did I tell you my Mum is doing much better and has got her appetite back? Well she phoned me last night but I missed the call as I was walking the dog. I forgot to call her back when I heard the message. Well I'm going to go into work a litle later tommorrow as i'm feeling a little tired today and I want to go in feeling refreshed.
Do you think I should have chips or new potatoes? I simply can't decide.
I might strip some wallpaper this weekend it'd be nice to get it done before Christmas, then i've been thinking of getting some new windows so it'd be pointless decorating until they are in. then I might not get it all done before Christmas and then where would I be?
 
#15
Go for the potatoes, much better for you....

Anyway if that is true which it probably isnt then in what way is that manly? Coating your helmet and balls in deep heat and keeping a straight face is manly but that? You sick deviant fuck, i bet you like being shat on dont you. In a lift. With people watching.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#16
Go for the potatoes, much better for you....

Anyway if that is true which it probably isnt then in what way is that manly? Coating your helmet and balls in deep heat and keeping a straight face is manly but that? You sick deviant fuck, i bet you like being shat on dont you. In a lift. With people watching.
Sorry I don't think we've met? Anyway I do have some oven chips and I'm thinking they will be better for me as I was going to put lots of butter on the potatoes, then I do have some Flora. What was manly dear? I can't recall saying something about something being manly.
I know i've some runner beans, cauliflower and carrots in the fridge. I don't know these decisions aren't easy.
Deep heat, yes I could do with some on my back as it does seem to ache much more in the winter, perhaps I should book a holiday in the sun for a couple of weeks. I could go to a nice hotel and shit all over the lift and wipe it all over my cock and balls.
 
#17
The most manly thing Ive done is your mum
 
#20
Sorry I don't think we've met? Anyway I do have some oven chips and I'm thinking they will be better for me as I was going to put lots of butter on the potatoes, then I do have some Flora. What was manly dear? I can't recall saying something about something being manly.
I know i've some runner beans, cauliflower and carrots in the fridge. I don't know these decisions aren't easy.
Deep heat, yes I could do with some on my back as it does seem to ache much more in the winter, perhaps I should book a holiday in the sun for a couple of weeks. I could go to a nice hotel and shit all over the lift and wipe it all over my cock and balls.
My apologies, the_wolf here, at your cervix.

I was actually referring to the OP after the potato bit but nevermind, its all fun
 
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