The missus

I have just got the wife to sign up, she loves the site and is enthralled by the walt hunts, chavmong safari's and general insults thrown around.

Does this mean that conversations the better half and I have together on ARRSE count as "quality time"?

How have other ARRSErs got on with having partners here?


Book Reviewer
"Quality Time" depends how you define "quality".

Does she still hate your farts?
The missus, she's a lovely woman and I think the world of her. I can offer up no tales of woe about her.
Except she won't give me a "blumpy". I'm sure the degenerate ladies here (I mean that as a compliment) can convince her it's the 'done' thing.

Thank you in advance.


Book Reviewer
"Blumpy" - so thats how you define quality time.......
If she gave me a blumpy I'd be the first to say "quality!"


Book Reviewer
Over to you Mrs H-H

I got the missus to agree to a blumpy if I was dying and it was the only action that would save me. Which is fair.

However, in my books this constitutes an agreement in principle so all we're haggling over is terms/ conditions. What would be a fair trade for her giving me a blumpy?

edited for being a spelling mong.
There should be no fair trade.... You married her! That means she must have promised to do as she's told and all you have to do is tell her. Or did she get you to marry her under false pretences?
there was no "obey" or " I promise to do as you demand or ask of me" in our vows, although the sentance before we got married "If you don't turn up i will hunt you down, find you and make sure you will be in pain for the rest of your life" was said by me :)
All true.

But the question stands, seeing as I have an agreement in principle, how do I get you to give me a blumpy my love?
You could try 'beating' her into it.... but I would suggest before NOT during!!


Book Reviewer
This sounds like a question for Dale, or Cait, or Poppy
The missus (SWMBO) has informed me that due to currently carrying my offspring I am not allowed to hit her or in any way jeopardise my progeny. She however can (and does) hit me at will.

Should I withold her chcolate allowance?


Book Reviewer
Are you MAD? Chocolate is probably the only way to sedate her.

Get your own back with chinese burns when she's asleep.
Compromise is key to any situation. This I believe (especially when violence is not an option).

So how about a "half-blumpy"? I let rip with some chewy farts with a green-yeasty tinge as she gets her laughing gear around me squiggly bits?

We could build up to the main event that way. And if I should follow through it ain't my fault...


Book Reviewer
I am soooooo glad that I don't have to launder your sheets....

Similar threads

Latest Threads