The Minions of Emperor Mong.

The reversium:

Invisible bastard who makes you start off on the right foot.
 
The kebabinion.

When kebabs look good.











Until the porcelain throne beckons ... either end. :eek:
 
Wrong thread ?
That would be the Wrong Thread Posting minion at work. This devilish minion cunningly lures the victim into making a post on whatever thread they happen to be on, instead on the one they actually wanted to post on, ensuring confusion for the poster and confusion and an uncontrollable urge to pour scorn, (usually accompanied with foul-mouthed abuse), on the poster by those who read the misplaced post.

Example:

In this case something along the lines of, "Gary Cooper, what the **** are you on abart, you fuckwitted spaz".
 
Wrong thread ?

Maybe although the young man in question does seem to me to be a minion of the Emperor. Anyway I did a search for Emperor Mong and this was the first thread on the list. I blame ARRSE.
 

Ciggie

GCM
That would be the Wrong Thread Posting minion at work. This devilish minion cunningly lures the victim into making a post on whatever thread they happen to be on, instead on the one they actually wanted to post on, ensuring confusion for the poster and confusion and an uncontrollable urge to pour scorn, (usually accompanied with foul-mouthed abuse), on the poster by those who read the misplaced post.

Example:

In this case something along the lines of, "Gary Cooper, what the **** are you on abart, you fuckwitted spaz".
You suffer from Spooner's disease don't you ?
 
The alarm fairy has an evil twin.

This one keeps waking you up every 30 mins or so all night before a "must be there" appointment.

15 mins before your alarm (doesn't) go off (see Alarm fairy above) it leaves you in peace to sleep like the dead.

Thank God they visit someone else! The 15 minutes of sleep between 06:15 and 06:30 is like being in a coma. Then at 06:30' EM pops into your head as a dream, whispering 'go on, hit the snooze, what harm can another 5 minutes do?'.

Followed by a soothing, Bbbbwwwwwhhhhhaaaaaaaaa......
 
I did of course refer to the high caffeine fizzy beverage...forfend if anyone on arrse would have ever been in contact with anything else of a similar name...unthinkable.

In the early '80s I was heavily into Irn Bru. It started with a 330ml can, now and again, but very soon I was waiting for the corner shop to open at 08:00, and going in 1Ltr returnable, and 2Ltr PET bottles. I was out of control.

When I got to the point of cutting it with blended whisky (a 'Whisky and Girders' as it's known on the street), I realised things had to change.

I've been clean for years now. I did fall off the wagon a couple of years ago, and had a can of Sprite. But now I'm firmly on the road to recovery, and have moved onto far more healthy beverages. I've never once been tempted to dilute a Single Malt with anything other than a drop of water.
 

skog

Clanker
In the early '80s I was heavily into Irn Bru. It started with a 330ml can, now and again, but very soon I was waiting for the corner shop to open at 08:00, and going in 1Ltr returnable, and 2Ltr PET bottles. I was out of control.

When I got to the point of cutting it with blended whisky (a 'Whisky and Girders' as it's known on the street), I realised things had to change.

I've been clean for years now. I did fall off the wagon a couple of years ago, and had a can of Sprite. But now I'm firmly on the road to recovery, and have moved onto far more healthy beverages. I've never once been tempted to dilute a Single Malt with anything other than a drop of water.


Cool
 

Ciggie

GCM
In the early '80s I was heavily into Irn Bru. It started with a 330ml can, now and again, but very soon I was waiting for the corner shop to open at 08:00, and going in 1Ltr returnable, and 2Ltr PET bottles. I was out of control.

When I got to the point of cutting it with blended whisky (a 'Whisky and Girders' as it's known on the street), I realised things had to change.

I've been clean for years now. I did fall off the wagon a couple of years ago, and had a can of Sprite. But now I'm firmly on the road to recovery, and have moved onto far more healthy beverages. I've never once been tempted to dilute a Single Malt with anything other than a drop of water.
Joking apart, when I was a kid in Scotland I got into a severe Irn Bru addiction...what was worse was every summer we went to Blackpool for a holiday and to see my gran and I discovered Tizer, but with the sad knowledge that there was no hope whatsoever of getting any in Jockland...the pain, the pain....
 
That would be the Wrong Thread Posting minion at work. This devilish minion cunningly lures the victim into making a post on whatever thread they happen to be on, instead on the one they actually wanted to post on, ensuring confusion for the poster and confusion and an uncontrollable urge to pour scorn, (usually accompanied with foul-mouthed abuse), on the poster by those who read the misplaced post.

Example:

In this case something along the lines of, "Gary Cooper, what the **** are you on abart, you fuckwitted spaz".

I know him; he's a ****.
 

Latest Threads

Top