The Merry Christmas Thread

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
What size are your boots? I’m asking just in case
And a very good Boxing Day Morning to one and all.
I’m keeping the boots for the immediate future, sorry to disappoint but after all the hullabaloo I’m feeling much better and looking forward to some smoked salmon, some cream cheese and what ever else is available, turkey and bubble squeak, Yule log, mince pies, the list goes on.

Will I ever learn:-?
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
Peppermint Cordial... rarer than unicorn piss these days. You'll just have to die, sadly. On a slightly more cheerful note though, at least with a tonic water you (probably) won't die with malaria.
I use to have a whisky and pep occasionally. Very nice, not sure why I stopped, probably couldn’t find any pep.
 
A reasonable haul, mostly self specified but Mrs B gave me a new all singing and dancing coffee grinder so I can reduce myself to a gibbering caffine wreck whilst experimenting with grinds over the coming days.

Happly returned early from sister in laws new place. Ostensible reason that we needed to sort outstanding DIY before New Years (true) but reality being that their brand new just moved in to and oh so lovely bespoke, over budget and very late energy efficient eco home is energy efficient because it is effing freezing.

Air source heat pumps sound great but reality is that with underfloor heating atop a lot of tiled floors and wooden floors, absolutely huge expanses of glass, neutron star bright LED lighting (non dimmable) and all overseen by a mean sod who sets the ambient to 16C, it is as charming and welcoming as a morgue.

Wood burner in lounge but up himself about smoke as well so all it contained was a bank of lit candles!

Best of all was the "hot" water. He is vastly arrogant about all this eco shit and ignored advice that he needed more than one type of heat pump or at least a top up energy source for when it get dull and chill because the solar collectors won't do their stuff, the efficiency of the air source heat pumps drops and the type he has are really only suited to heating the gaff.

Net result was that the maximum temperature of the stored hot water was 42C. And then took ages to reheat.

My best Christmas present was therefore him being constantly ripped into by his very angry and wholly pissed off wife who unsurprisingly is not happy that her new and much anticipated new home is really quite an unpleasant place to be.
 
Ditto.
Mum died earlier this year, I am now doing the whole family-at-dad's for Xmas planning, as obviously it is a bad time for him.
Last night, I get home and MrsR 'wants to talk to me'.
Oh ****, what have I done now?
Turns out she has to visit her cousin in hospital today.
Terminal AIDS, days left, apparently. Leaves 1-yr-old daughter (who isn't HIV)
So yeah, **** you 2018!
Self-quoting but...
The cousin passed on today.
MrsR got the call, and she and headed off to hospital with Cousin #2, and were given the news.
Now there's a problem re the poor little mite.
Currently with MrsR's aunt (not the mother of the deceased cousin and cousin #2 - another aunt), but whether she'll be prepared to keep the kid remains to be seen.
MrsR says 'nope'. Cousin #2 already has a 2 yr old and a newborn.
There's also a question re the paternity of the sprog. Deceased cousin never told us, so hopefully the aunt can shed some light on it.
Though the deceased was a little skank, so may not even have known herself.
Big family meeting Sunday. Thank god I'm off to work.
 
Self-quoting but...
The cousin passed on today.
MrsR got the call, and she and headed off to hospital with Cousin #2, and were given the news.
Now there's a problem re the poor little mite.
Currently with MrsR's aunt (not the mother of the deceased cousin and cousin #2 - another aunt), but whether she'll be prepared to keep the kid remains to be seen.
MrsR says 'nope'. Cousin #2 already has a 2 yr old and a newborn.
There's also a question re the paternity of the sprog. Deceased cousin never told us, so hopefully the aunt can shed some light on it.
Though the deceased was a little skank, so may not even have known herself.
Big family meeting Sunday. Thank god I'm off to work.
Don't forget the rule of 'not being present'.
 
soon be time to buy the decorations, stock pile the food and think about buying the drink come on supermarkets it's only 9 months to go and to panic buy, might start sending xmas cards soon or are we waiting for easter and summer to come and go first?
 
soon be time to buy the decorations, stock pile the food and think about buying the drink come on supermarkets it's only 9 months to go and to panic buy, might start sending xmas cards soon or are we waiting for easter and summer to come and go first?
Good plan, get 'em sent before the cost of stamps goes up after you-know-what.

I'm going to get the sprouts peeled this week and in the pan by Monday, which is cutting it a bit fine I know.
 
soon be time to buy the decorations, stock pile the food and think about buying the drink come on supermarkets it's only 9 months to go and to panic buy, might start sending xmas cards soon or are we waiting for easter and summer to come and go first?


You sir are an utter utter bastard, its only march for cliffs sake, Easter is yet to empty our wallets, and all the other religious inspired bollox so beloved by the pious and easily led..... May bed bugs invade your Y-fronts.
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
There are only 280 sleeps available so time to start on the preparations!
 
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