The Merry Christmas 2021 Thread

[flieslikeabeagle]

Son didn't have the kids for Christmas day this year , so after yesterday evening at my BinLs for dinner, return match today , full on turkey ham etc dinner at four, but with the kids today of course

(we did to have get breakfast with them yesterday and gave them their prezzies though, so no big deal, just the way things go)

And ...... she's off to try and F uck up this year again for us
Son was supposed to be picking the kids up t 1, gets a phone call "We're in Glasgow I'll drop the kids at your Mums at 4"
so we've now put dinner back till five , as she did the same last year and was an hour late then , as she got stuck in traffic (Christmas day lockdown , she shouldn't have been there anyway out of this zone anyway , and few people on the M8 anyway
Son is f ucking boiling , dragged the children away again this year , just after opening their prezzies , so she and her boyfriend could spend Christmas together , and the kids could again spend yet another Christmas night on the floor on a n airbed , with all their toys either at Dads or her house

we should have seen it coming , I thought things had sorted themself out after the divorce, but no .....she's stilll a Cvnt

 

[BossHogg]

 

[Auld-Yin]

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And some people have their decorations up already - SHOCKING!

 

[jagman2]

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Kindly **** right off.......

 

[Yokel]

On Christmas morning I was accused of having a 'Bah humbug' attitude. I did have good reasons.

My car decided to fail on Christmas Eve whilst my father was using it to seek a replacement kettle at the rush. The daft old sod did not have his mobile phone with him, but a local farmer stopped and helped, including supplying communications. My brother chased after him although we were not sure where he had broken down. With the aid of the Police they were able to move it to a safer location. They had to wait FIVE hours for recovery - the RAC only had one guy covering Devon and Cornwall. I have not yet replied to their e-mail asking me to rate their service.

After the bank holidays are over it will be garage time - but I have a feeling it is the clutch to beyond economic repair/FUBAR. FFS!

Lacking a kettle, I tried to boil some water on the hob but that also refused to work. They did return with kettle and we fixed the hob on Christmas morning. Not a great twenty four or so hours as our poor Cat Coco had to be put to sleep on the evening of the 23 Dec. From that moment really I have not been in the mood.

 

[Provost]

Well, we're past Boxing Day and that jolly, black half of the family promised us in all the seasonal TV ads still hasn't shown up. Not even an apologetic phone call.

What's up? Our house not good enough for you? Ashamed of your white relatives?

 

[aardvark64]

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Which is only around 20 sleeps for the dedicated insomniac.

 

[Arte_et_Marte]

Well, we're past Boxing Day and that jolly, black half of the family promised us in all the seasonal TV ads still hasn't shown up. Not even an apologetic phone call.

What's up? Our house not good enough for you? Ashamed of your white relatives?

My mate Clyde, was coming round this year, but he had to be at 18 dinners before mine. He sent me a text saying he was a bit full and couldn't make it.

It was too short notice to find a gay lad as well.

It really wasn't the same this year.

 

[JackSofty]

In the true spirit of Christmas and the season of goodwill to all men, have a picture of The Empress's tits floating in the Adriatic:

 

[bedended]

Morning All,
Hindus, muslims, buddhist...and me here therefore no celebrations, so I decided to have a slap up meal.
Xmas dinner, in my dreams...

...the reality...

...mug of packet 'Knorr' mushroom soup, a 6' turkey (fake)meat slice with mozzarella cheese'n'mayo 'Subway'. A cake with 1/4 bottle of 'Jim Beam' in the mix...followed by 3/4 bottle of 'Jim Beam'.
Bollocks to Xmas, hope everyone had a blast

 

[Teeblerone]

You made an effort, good on ya!

 

[CutLunchCommando]

I've not heard that for years!

Goes quite well with:

All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
Polaris kills them all!

Can I have a go as well?




You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus has agents everywhere

They're making a list
They're checking it twice
They're gonna tell him who's naughty or nice
Santa Claus has agents everywhere

They see you when you're sleeping
And they know when you're awake
They know if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why
'Santa Claus has agents everywhere
Oh, let's go

Now, they see you when you're sleeping
And know when you're awake
They know if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus has agents everywhere

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus has agents
I mean the big fat man with the long white beard
Has agents everywhere

 

[Club Swinger]

Snow Queen Walt...