The Mayfly Is Up! Fishing Stories?

#1
[align=center]The Mayfly Is Up! [/align]

On waters from Hampshire chalk streams to the western loughs of Ireland, the cry has gone up.

Trains used to halt, smothered in clouds of emergent Mayflies. Parliament and the Dail were strangely empty for a fortnight. Barristers, surgeons, soldiers and parsons would forsake their posts.

Piscatorial ARRSErs must have some rare - and occasionally true - fishing stories to relate . . . . . 8)
 

qman

War Hero
#2
current affairs? now if I take away the letters from 'current' that are present in the word 'arrse' you'll be left with a good description of this particular pass-time. IMHO! :)
 
#3
qman said:
current affairs? now if I take away the letters from 'current' that are present in the word 'arrse' you'll be left with a good description of this particular pass-time. IMHO! :)
For seveeriall good reasons.

Mayflies are of the Order Ephemeridae, being - er - ephemeral. Like current affairs.

Mayflies, on rivers, are inevitably borne off by the current. Geddit?

The affair in question is the catching of fine, fat trouts. On fly. Anything else is poaching. (bottleosmoke, put that Bloody Butcher thingy AWAY!)

Although we might touch on other - ahem - Country Matters . . . . . 8)
 
#5
gennithmedic said:
Get a speargun and get in after the bstards.
(Works best in seawater)
Gennith-bach! How are the pustules and chancres of west Wales today? Responsive to your iatric charms and nostrums, we trust . . . . .

Will a speargun be surf-icient for the lively bass of Rhosilli?
 
#6
The one that got away is more my story!
 
#8
Dunno much about fishing in ponds and sewers, but at sea I tow a small, rubber, sand eel type lure behind my kayak. 1' to 18" below the surface. Seems to be something about the noise of my paddle as the bass just go nuts for the bugger. Believe me when I say you KNOW when a bass has struck your lure!
 
#9
Mr_Deputy said:
JRHartley said:
Check out this guy ...Bill Dance 'star' of a long running american Fishing show...


Bill dance fishing god
I'd imagine you have a few anecdotes about Fly Fishing yourself Sir.
Such modesty belies the talent that is...J...R ....Haaaarrtleyy.
Indeed!

And where is Captain Peter Lapsley - late KOBR and MI5 (which he tells to anyone who'll listen so no PERSEC imperilment), and ghostwriter-by-appointment to JR Hartley?

Latterly also author of good stuff on Falklands seatrout fishing. For he is ancestrally a Benny/Kelper.

Are you there, Peter?
 
#10
gennithmedic said:
Dunno much about fishing in ponds and sewers, but at sea I tow a small, rubber, sand eel type lure behind my kayak. 1' to 18" below the surface. Seems to be something about the noise of my paddle as the bass just go nuts for the bugger. Believe me when I say you KNOW when a bass has struck your lure!
Well done!

Sea-kayaking? Brave fellow.

How do you prevent the lively bass from cowping the whole shebang, on reeling him in? Or do you tow it home and drown it? Have you any good bass recipes?
 
#12
JRHartley said:
Mr_Deputy said:
JRHartley said:
Check out this guy ...Bill Dance 'star' of a long running american Fishing show...


Bill dance fishing god
I'd imagine you have a few anecdotes about Fly Fishing yourself Sir.
Such modesty belies the talent that is...J...R ....Haaaarrtleyy.
I'm afraid you'll have to buy my book...I have several thousand signed copies if you are interested?
None of which tells us of the loc of Lappo, yore ghost-writer.

Can you get him fell in, please?
 
#13
I only spool out about 5m. Normally a bit of a tow knackers the beastie and a quick biff on the head settles the argument. If in doubt I just beach.
As for cooking Keep It Simple. Barbie wrapped in foil with samphire in gut. Or give whole fish (guts n'all) to neighbours mailorder Thai wife, and get mega fish soup back.
 
#14
gennithmedic said:
I only spool out about 5m. Normally a bit of a tow knackers the beastie and a quick biff on the head settles the argument. If in doubt I just beach.
As for cooking Keep It Simple. Barbie wrapped in foil with samphire in gut. Or give whole fish (guts n'all) to neighbours mailorder Thai wife, and get mega fish soup back.
I tried that, neigbour said "bugger off, wife is from Myrther" and bopped me. Then she hit me over the head with said fish.
 
#15
gennithmedic said:
I only spool out about 5m. Normally a bit of a tow knackers the beastie and a quick biff on the head settles the argument. If in doubt I just beach.

Very good drills.

As for cooking Keep It Simple. Barbie wrapped in foil with samphire in gut. Or give whole fish (guts n'all) to neighbours mailorder Thai wife, and get mega fish soup back.
My first Rhossili bass, on same day as i got my O-level results, was done exactly that way. Baked in foil on BBQ, having been stuffed with samphire from Worm's head cliffs. Scrummy! Lots of Muscadet to wash it down. Then we lurched off to the pub and the surfer-babes . . . . . Mmmmmmh 8)
 
#16
I was fishing the river Etive up north one fine June weekend, the third weekend in a row to be precise. Fished solidly from 8-midnight then 2am-8am next morning. Caught a 20 lb salomon and 3 4-5 lb sea trout, not a bad nights fish you might think. My mate(the little fcuker) was spinning for trout(or anything that would go for his heathen bait) and caught a huge 5 and a half pound wild brown trout! Believe me, a fish like this is almost unheard of!
It would have been the ultimate fishing weekend had it not been for the fact that we did not have permits, in fact not only did we not have permits, it turns out that the river etive is Royal waters(?) and it's nigh on impossible to get permission to fish them. End result was a £200 fine and all our gear confiscated.
 
#17
Mr_Deputy said:
JRHartley said:
Mr_Deputy said:
JRHartley said:
Check out this guy ...Bill Dance 'star' of a long running american Fishing show...


Bill dance fishing god
I'd imagine you have a few anecdotes about Fly Fishing yourself Sir.
Such modesty belies the talent that is...J...R ....Haaaarrtleyy.
I'm afraid you'll have to buy my book...I have several thousand signed copies if you are interested?
Sugegst you need to 'modernise' your classic book with two new chapters :

1. Safe and Gentlemanly Removal Techniques for Shopping Bags and Trolleys from Watercourses.

2. Cooking Your Catch Using a Microwave.

I trust you are up-to-date on these subjects?
yes sir, in the second reprint along with other chapters including.

1. How to land carp from the bootlid of a burntout Ford Escort.

2. The art of trolling for pike using a bag of drowned kittens.

3. How to pi55 whilst fishing.
 
#18
devilish said:
I was fishing the river Etive up north one fine June weekend, the third weekend in a row to be precise. Fished solidly from 8-midnight then 2am-8am next morning. Caught a 20 lb salomon and 3 4-5 lb sea trout, not a bad nights fish you might think. My mate(the little fcuker) was spinning for trout(or anything that would go for his heathen bait) and caught a huge 5 and a half pound wild brown trout! Believe me, a fish like this is almost unheard of!
It would have been the ultimate fishing weekend had it not been for the fact that we did not have permits, in fact not only did we not have permits, it turns out that the river etive is Royal waters(?) and it's nigh on impossible to get permission to fish them. End result was a £200 fine and all our gear confiscated.
Well done yous both!

That is one hell of a salmon for Etive; and that trout must have been a fine ferox, I'll bet. Big, spade-shaped tail? Dark, with big red spots? :D

The midges on Etive can be a bugger, but have mostly gone by late Sept/early Oct, when I have stalked there.

Under Scots law, you may fish freely for broon troot anywhere, but migratory fish - ie your salmon and seatrout - might put you in the wrong. £200 is one thing, but loss of tackle is another. Tackle is v. expensive. The royals would regard that as unsporting. I hope . . . . . 8)
 
#20
The trout was a beast mate, ferox? Most definately. It's lower jaw came over it's top lip and it was as dark as night.

I lost around about £500 worth of gear and my mate about the same, bloody baliff and copper were about to take our waders and threatened to take my bloody car, only saving grace was the caught fish were not in the car, had they been then I'd still be walking home now.
 

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