The masturbation thread.

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#1
After spinning a few tugging dits in other threads it became apparent that we need our own dedicated wanking thread.

Where have you had your most memorable thrap? Personally I still have fond memories of boxing the Jesuit while at the helm of a destroyer in the pitch darkness of night. Despite my best efforts to spaff on the female officer of the watch's leg, I always failed, lack of range you see. I did manage to wipe my hand on her beret though.

The worst tug I've ever had was in the fetid toilets of a Puerto Rican strip club after receiving a particularly good lap dance. There was poo on the walls and it put me off my stroke. This surprised me to be honest, as a 42 rating, I was used to throwing myself around the stinking aft heads while other men's piss overflowed from the bogs in rough seas and lapped at my arse. It was probably the heroine needles on the floor that made it a struggle.
 
#2
What sick perv put this idea of a thread in your head?
 
#3
After spinning a few tugging dits in other threads it became apparent that we need our own dedicated wanking thread.

Where have you had your most memorable thrap? Personally I still have fond memories of boxing the Jesuit while at the helm of a destroyer in the pitch darkness of night. Despite my best efforts to spaff on the female officer of the watch's leg, I always failed, lack of range you see. I did manage to wipe my hand on her beret though.

The worst tug I've ever had was in the fetid toilets of a Puerto Rican strip club after receiving a particularly good lap dance. There was poo on the walls and it put me off my stroke. This surprised me to be honest, as a 42 rating, I was used to throwing myself around the stinking aft heads while other men's piss overflowed from the bogs in rough seas and lapped at my arse. It was probably the heroine needles on the floor that made it a struggle.
Fuck me Florance Nightingale was a smack heed?
 
#4
Ravers. We should make you the coach for the GB sex team at the Olympics.

You would be sure to come second.
 
#7
You have the same problem as Richard Branson and virgin Trains. You pull out to soon.
 
#8
Danger wank stood at the top of Walker divisions block in Raleigh, started just before the Duty WPO started her evening rounds.

Worst memory was walking down 3D mess to shake one of the wrens on the Southampton and seeing the fat, gopping WLch with her vibe on full force not realising I was there *shudders*


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I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=50.391801,-4.184290
 
#9
Who said anything about sex? I'm still a virgin.
As you are/were a sailor I assume you mean with a woman? Your anal virginity was lost long ago to a roving bear?
 
C

count_duckula

Guest
#11
I once had a wank in class. German, with a particularly amusing teacher who'd set us some tedious exercise or other. He gave me a couple of odd looks but as I was at the back of the class and sitting at a double table on my own I got away with it. Bloke sitting not two feet away to my left.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#12
Worst memory was walking down 3D mess to shake one of the wrens on the Southampton and seeing the fat, gopping WLch with her vibe on full force not realising I was there *shudders*
]
The horror!

I used to take broom down 3D on the Exeter to shake the wrens. I'd just poke them through the curtains with it and run away.

One of the lads was accused of touching one of the fat heffers inappropriately while shaking her, so the broom was entirely necessary.

I once caught my DO, a charge chief WE, having a good thrap underneath the seadart control room over a phot of his missus in full webbing. He just looked at me and said, "hmmm, well this is awkward."
 
P

PrinceAlbert

Guest
#13
I once caught my DO, a charge chief WE, having a good thrap underneath the seadart control room over a phot of his missus in full webbing. He just looked at me and said, "hmmm, well this is awkward."
So you did the decent thing and offered to hold the photo for him?
 

walkyrie

Old-Salt
Book Reviewer
#17
My worst tug ever was the one that I'm still desperately trying to pull out using only Ravers signature pic.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#18
My worst tug ever was the one that I'm still desperately trying to pull out using only Ravers signature pic.
Imagine Darth Vader is quietly saying "pick up the log" over and over again.

It helps.
 
#19
I once had a wank in the school attic whilst all the others beneath did double geography. As for a danger wank, I got my ol' fella out and wanked like a chimpanzee when I spotted the Landrover coming to pick me up when I was range sentry in Altcar.
Last time I was forced to work on a b/hol monday at work I felt it was my duty to spend most of the 12hrs wanking in the bogs, I was only put off when some dirty cunt 2 traps away noisily farted out what must've been a weeks worth of sprouts,cabbage and brocoli diet!
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#20
I used to enjoy putting people off their stroke. You'd be in the heads trying to have a peaceful shit when all of a sudden you'd hear the not so subtle groaning and shuffling of someone having a hand shandy in the next trap.

I'd then shit into a piece of bog roll and thrust it under the partition exclaiming; "Oi shipmate, did you have the soup at scran? I reckon it was a bit dodgy, does this look normal to you?"
 

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