The Mall Ninja

Discussion in 'Int Corps' started by CRmeansCeilingReached, Jul 26, 2010.

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  1. it's very quiet in here, so thought i would do my bit.

    for those who can remember a certain ex-CCF "WO2" on this forum, bragging about the dangerous life of a security guard in Manchester... you know, "i've faced more knives than you have staplers" etc...

    you might like this. Shrine of the Mall Ninja » LonelyMachines

    grab a brew, kick back and enjoy.

    obviously a massive wah, but still entertaining!
  2. how weird i posted some extracts from the very same guy a few hours ago, one of the best reads ever
  3. Fcuk Afghan.... American shopping centers are clearly where all the actions at these days!

    Best line:
  4. it get's alot better than that i promise :D
  5. **** me, i almost got a piece of bread stuck in my throat I laughed so hard, post some fecking warning for people who read while eating (and eat while reading, drinking etc). You are telling me this guy is for real?
  6. I have not laughed that hard in months. This has to be one of the best threads ever.
  7. I could'nt make it past that bit, I was laughing so hard it was impossible to focus on the screen!
  8. As a Security guard in a small shopping Park in the north of England, I love this Guy:rolleyes: and have met his U.K. counterparts on many occasion.:( (Had to escort one Mong off site because he turned up with a can of Pepper spray/Dog reppellent )
    I love this bit "Yes Im not a Green Beret but guess what neither are you and unlike you I have to face unruly shoppers every day."

    Jesus .H. "Unruly"! customers and he wants to carry an arsenal. We just push/pull "Unruly" Mongs out the door. If their really kicking off we get one of our tame steroid abusers to sit on them until Dibble turns up.

    Attached Files:

  9. I read soldierboys"more kit than" post, the link to MallNinja is one of the funniest things I have ever read.

    It reads like a cross between Police Academy and Mall Cop, f*cking hilarious. At one point the Mall Ninja, because he can't "carry" at work, when he gets collected from the Mall to go home, by his wife, straps on his 2 personal protection weapons for the journey home.

    It is beyond belief.
  10. Mall Ninjas? we are not worthy. I hear they have their own on line forum: mllarrse
  11. Absolute legend, I'll never be able to look at something so simple as a trip to the shops (or their security guards) in the same light again
  12. Haha, very good! Still reading, but laughed at what I have read so far!
  13. Should make it into a movie i can see the line man one mall can he save them all MALL NINJA!!!!
  14. Done already see "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" and a film nearer to Mall Ninja is "Observe and report". The latter is quite dark in its humour in places. Both good for a laugh.