"The Major" Daily Telegraph letters 22 July 2014

It seems most villages have got one. He's the one in the tweed jacket, cavalry twills or corduroys and collared shirt topped off with a cravat, always with a ready word on current affairs gleaned from The Torygraph and a hazy memory of exercises in BAOR. Below a letter from today's copy of the same.

SIR - Years ago, a colleague and I travelled throughout England on business. At noon we kept our eyes open for a good-looking pub. The routine was always the same. My colleague would say: “Morning, mine host, two pints of your best bitter, please. Has the Major been in yet?”
Only about 20 per cent of the time did the landlord reply that the pub didn’t have a Major. Four times out of five the landlord would say one of the following: “It’s a bit early for him.” “You’ve just missed him.” “He’s on holiday.” “He’s in the gents.” “He is round the back, hiding from his wife.” Or: “He is over there.”
We met many nice majors over the years.

John Ashworth
Helensburgh, Dunbartonshire
 

XPara Mugg

War Hero
We have a major in my village but he's outranked by the several generals we also have. All very nice people.

None of them use either of the pubs on a regular basis.

We also have a twat who is known as 'the colonel'.... but he's never been in the army..... and he's always in the pub!!

And I mustn't forget the 'comedy vicar'. I'll try to post a picture. He really won't mind.
 
It seems most villages have got one. He's the one in the tweed jacket, cavalry twills or corduroys and collared shirt topped off with a cravat, always with a ready word on current affairs gleaned from The Torygraph and a hazy memory of exercises in BAOR. Below a letter from today's copy of the same.

SIR - Years ago, a colleague and I travelled throughout England on business. At noon we kept our eyes open for a good-looking pub. The routine was always the same. My colleague would say: “Morning, mine host, two pints of your best bitter, please. Has the Major been in yet?”
Only about 20 per cent of the time did the landlord reply that the pub didn’t have a Major. Four times out of five the landlord would say one of the following: “It’s a bit early for him.” “You’ve just missed him.” “He’s on holiday.” “He’s in the gents.” “He is round the back, hiding from his wife.” Or: “He is over there.”
We met many nice majors over the years.

John Ashworth
Helensburgh, Dunbartonshire

TH.jpg
This him by any chance?;)
 
I think the point the letter writer was making is that whereas once-upon-a-time, this country had a much closer relationship between civvies and the Army.

If Majors were such a commonplace, think how many other people in the village would have done time in the Army.
 

Chef

LE
Funnily enough my grandfather was a gunner Major, having gained a commission in the volunteers in 1897, did WWI and was always referred to as 'The Major' but only by the daily.

Always makes me think of Terry Thomas or Leslie Phillips with two seater in the background. In black and white naturally.
 

Drivers_lag

On ROPS
On ROPs
[QUOTE="Last to know, post: 5878054, member: 65250" My colleague would say: “Morning, mine host, two pints of your best bitter, please.[/QUOTE]

Twats.

With their little books.

Fcking hated them.

Crabble-Corn-Mill-cider-festival-2009.jpg
 
[QUOTE="Last to know, post: 5878054, member: 65250" My colleague would say: “Morning, mine host, two pints of your best bitter, please.

Twats.

With their little books.

Fcking hated them.

Crabble-Corn-Mill-cider-festival-2009.jpg
[/QUOTE]
Who got out of bed early this morning then ?
 
In Fleet some years ago it used to be claimed that small boys would shout out "Oi! Colonel!" in the High Street to see how many old men looked round and fell off their bicycles.
 
The nearest pub I can call my long-term local is opposite my parents' house in a rural Leicestershire village. Back in the early 80s, I worked as a barman when the landlord was "The Major". Ex Leicestershire Regiment Battalion 2ic, who sat in the corner with his glass of port and cigar and surveyed his command, ensuring that no-one "unconventional" got served.

Over the years, there have been several retired officers who drank there, including an ex REME Colonel who was always referred to as Colonel and an ex-Royal Anglian RSM who was known as Sergeant Major and ran the local pub petanque league with "military precision (apparently).

I suspect if I became a regular again, I'd be adopted by my former rank!
 

alib

LE
These days they are out the back dogging with the EDL boys.
 

Blogg

LE
There is twerp in what passes for my local who is referred to as "The Captain"

Actually a retired civil serpent whose glittering career as an HEO in the Home Office equipped him to pontificate on any subject, that would be as in Captain Mainwaring.

He is irritated by that but considering he wobbles about calling people "old boy", accuses anybody with a different view of being guilty of "muddled thinking" and is an all round irritation he is getting off lightly.

The only reason he has not been filled in many times over is because he is the landlord's father in law.
 

philc

LE
I went in to a bar near an Indian Reservation and said "all right Chief a pint for me".
 

ACAB

LE
If it's anything like my local he's a bloody walt as well.
 

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