The Machine is Breaking Down ....

#1
I've put this in the bar because, to be fair it's perfect for some quality slagging.

My issue is simply that I seem to be picking up a lot of injuries lately and its starting to get annoying.

Went for a run a couple of days ago, usual script, 4-5 mile, slight terrain and done at a half decent pace. Fast forward 2 hours and I'm sat in A and E and left with a chit for some Tramadol and a clutch of torn ligaments. The good side is I've patched in so I can work from the house office and the subsequent boredom has allowed me to delve a bit deeper with some website fuelled onanism.

It isn't the only thing that is worrying, my lower vertebrae emits a dull ache for at least 6 hours a day and the pain spreads down my left hip joining up with a knee joint that audibly creaks and groans when i warm up, the result is it feels like my lower back and the near full extent of left leg can be unbelievably painful if i stand up after sitting down for too long.

To top it off I pissed blood twice last week, a steady trickle of scarlet interloper with my piss, and even in my fiery jizz !

So what's the score ? I'm in my very early thirties, run 20 - 30 mile a week on average and train after work, never struggled when serving, as Royal nor perce, didn't do a significant amount of parachuting or broke any bones, cracked any bits and at worst carried a dose throughout an entire Lion Sun.

Probably a good thread for homemade remedies, a place to swap prescriptions for various painkillers and for ripping my tired old bones.

Medics welcome.
Probably a good thread for homemade remedies, solutions and
 
#4
Lower back, hip and leg pain? Like me, you may have one leg slightly shorter than the other. Genners. Buggers did'nt find this out until after nearly 30 years service. I strongly suggest an Orthopaedic consultation: if not, it could be a life of Diclofenac for you. Fortunately, Diclofenac make you fart at the most inopportune moments.

Which is nice.

Blood in your piss? Dunno. Guess it must be cancer.
 
#5
I've put this in the bar because, to be fair it's perfect for some quality slagging.

My issue is simply that I seem to be picking up a lot of injuries lately and its starting to get annoying.

Went for a run a couple of days ago, usual script, 4-5 mile, slight terrain and done at a half decent pace. Fast forward 2 hours and I'm sat in A and E and left with a chit for some Tramadol and a clutch of torn ligaments. The good side is I've patched in so I can work from the house office and the subsequent boredom has allowed me to delve a bit deeper with some website fuelled onanism.

It isn't the only thing that is worrying, my lower vertebrae emits a dull ache for at least 6 hours a day and the pain spreads down my left hip joining up with a knee joint that audibly creaks and groans when i warm up, the result is it feels like my lower back and the near full extent of left leg can be unbelievably painful if i stand up after sitting down for too long.

To top it off I pissed blood twice last week, a steady trickle of scarlet interloper with my piss, and even in my fiery jizz !

So what's the score ? I'm in my very early thirties, run 20 - 30 mile a week on average and train after work, never struggled when serving, as Royal nor perce, didn't do a significant amount of parachuting or broke any bones, cracked any bits and at worst carried a dose throughout an entire Lion Sun.

Probably a good thread for homemade remedies, a place to swap prescriptions for various painkillers and for ripping my tired old bones.

Medics welcome.
Probably a good thread for homemade remedies, solutions and
This might seem obvious.........but have you considered going to see a Doctor?? As for local remedies..........Er no!!!!!

PM me if you need further advice
 
#6
Dealing the the most serious symptom first: blood in urine. The cure is remarkably simple and easy: stop letting your boyfriend pummel your kidneys when he reams your shitter. Job done.

As for the rest: you are a soft hat cunt, and all soft hat cunts suffer after doing any physical activity. This is genetic and nothing can be done.

Start eating cake and lots of chocolate bars, and just for the amusement of people around you, start wearing orthopedic shoes with really thick soles.
 
#7
Dealing the the most serious symptom first: blood in urine. The cure is remarkably simple and easy: stop letting your boyfriend pummel your kidneys when he reams your shitter. Job done.

As for the rest: you are a soft hat cunt, and all soft hat cunts suffer after doing any physical activity. This is genetic and nothing can be done.

Start eating cake and lots of chocolate bars, and just for the amusement of people around you, start wearing orthopedic shoes with really thick soles.
I am gorgeous though, even cripples with bellies full of nutty get laid x :)
 
#8
It isn't the only thing that is worrying, my lower vertebrae emits a dull ache for at least 6 hours a day and the pain spreads down my left hip joining up with a knee joint that audibly creaks and groans when i warm up, the result is it feels like my lower back and the near full extent of left leg can be unbelievably painful if i stand up after sitting down for too long.

Sounds like your pelvis is out of line and sitting at the wrong angle. Try not to spread your legs as wide next time


TPBD
 
#9
As we used we used to say among our black humo(u)red recce teammates before a parachute insertion, "If you die can I have your gear?"
 
#10
That's almost a dead cert judging by 'that' thread.. :)
That was always lurking waiting for you to fck up, i have a couple of spare bandanas you can have at cost price, and a local dealer is doing hot deals on 4mph buggies at the moment.

seriously though a lot of symptoms there mate, trip down the doc's sharpish, please keep us updated though,as we love to gossip.
 
#11
As we used we used to say among our black humo(u)red recce teammates before a parachute insertion, "If you die can I have your gear?"
I've a whispa lite cooker some yeti gators and a few hundred grands worth of property if that will do ? I'd insist on you standing by my open casket and repeating the words 'we've never turned up to war in time' over and over again. I'll also arrange for my quite fit younger sister to swallow your rod if you further admit that homosexual sodomites would be a benefit to your beloved Corps ...
 
#15
I've a whispa lite cooker some yeti gators and a few hundred grands worth of property if that will do ? I'd insist on you standing by my open casket and repeating the words 'we've never turned up to war in time' over and over again. I'll also arrange for my quite fit younger sister to swallow your rod if you further admit that homosexual sodomites would be a benefit to your beloved Corps ...
You drive a hard bargain but I can accede to all but the last condition. That will never be said by this Marine.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#17
Aye, if you think your body is falling apart now, just wait till you're in your 40s!

Wait given your symptoms you're not going to live that long. Put me down for the Yeti gaiters.
 
#18
as an ex gunner and army tug-o-war champ,and civvy powerlifter,i too suffer,big time with disc damage,shin probs,knuckle joints etc etc blah blah blah.......guess its an age thing,(36 in 2 weeks)and yrs of physical abuse?the body is NOT designed for certain kinds of hammer.....but JRIII only early 30s????? fuckin hell,the way he goes on,you'd put him at least 45-50 !!!!!.....if your like me and dont want to admit defeat just hammer the Ibruprofen,OR diclofenac,sorted me many times................................early 30s...F.F.S
 
#19
Aye, if you think your body is falling apart now, just wait till you're in your 40s!

Wait given your symptoms you're not going to live that long. Put me down for the Yeti gaiters.
Queue forms behind me. You can have the sister.
 
#20
Don't strain when you go for a pooh....with those symptoms I'm fairly sure your poor, pickled kidneys are going to make a break for it down your jap's, hence the pain in your lower back, where they are currently snuggling up to your sigmoid colon! Take 2 paracetamol and a deep breath when it starts to crown...it'll only sting for a day or two and if you're lucky it'll pop your prostate out at the same time
 

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