I was thinking about this today as I drove past a Warehouse where we had an Opening-party, which went on til about 0500hrs. The place was 13k s away from my home, and I was, to put it mildly, fuckin minging after some 10hrs drinking. I did nt pull that night (wonder why?), so it was a case of either sharing a hedge with fresh or white dog-shit, or tab home. I chose to tab it. After breaking out of the warehouse (I was gonking on a Euro-pallett til 0500hrs), and having to climb the zig-zag metal gate, I went for it. My first port-of-call on-route was a transport company which had a few old Artics outside on the yard. Like you do when totally comatosed, I decided that I d nick one and drive home in that. I managed to gain access into the cab but was unable to start it, so off I went again. I think it was about the 3k mark where I decided to lay across the middle of the road and force vehicles to stop, which they did, only they didnt give me a lift, to my amazement they gave me nothing other than abuse. By now it was getting light, and tbh my head was clearing somewhat, so I imagined I was on a CFT, got my head down and started to walk in a sort of straight line. After many unsuccessful attempts at thumbing-it, I got home at 1000hrs, which I was actually quite proud of given the circumstances. However, I had over-looked one thing, I never go out on the lag with my keys, so the next part of the task was to gain access to my flat on the first-floor, which I accomplished by scaling the Trelace, which was covered in thorny roses, to the Balcony, and utilising a Barb-b-que Fish-slice, I managed to prise the double-doors open to the flat, and was in. It was at that moment that I discovered that I had forgotten something important, I should have been at work at 0700hrs. A quick phone-call to Doc Holiday, and that problem was also solved. Anyone beat that?