The Lonely Officer

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by BulletFoss, Apr 11, 2006.

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  1. I Remember I served in Afghanistan with the TA, May-August 2003. Based in camp souter, Kabul attached to 2 Royal Anglian (who by the way are a top bunch)

    Prior to our deployment we underwent a 3 month training "regime" headed by a Captain who we affectionately referred to as Cpt. Sobel (for good reason). An Ex-PARA, still thinks he is a PARA, "i'm great, look at me" tosser with a Porsche Boxter. He made us Tab every day, run every day, suck his i mean.....hate him alot. He was the butt of many jokes among the ranks, we often pondered on what activities he would pursue in his spare time. Would he take a trip to Chessington World of Adventures with his pals? Would he take a lady shopping in London? NO....He'd much rather enjoy taking a prosperous woman friend to the drenched moorlands of Oakhampton or See how much garish Maroon Machine merchandise he could buy on eBay from the 80's. Of course, these are only assumptions, but I imagine we weren't far from the truth.

    A nob as he might be, a very Hard person he was! You would laugh at his jokes just to avoid getting punched in the GUT. You emit the worst fake laugh while thinking (yes Sobel, I'm your friend, you f**king helmet!) He was also a loney man, without friends he would try and attach himself to our regular Army companions because he was too ashamed to hang round with us. Many occasion we were informed, "they think you are all a bunch of STAB w**kers", any other time this may have been the case, but in this instance we got on really well with the Regs and shared a mutual respect for each other. The Regs from 2RA in our Platoon said they preferred spending the tour with us, rather than their own boys.

    Where am I going with this story!!!!!!

    About 14 of us decided to book a Holiday in Tenerife, we could think of a better treat to end our tour than watered down beer, dodgy food, loud mancunians and girls begging for co*k. We arrived in the Resort of Playa de las Americas and after a few cloudy nights with different chicks we decided to chill out by the pool. My very good pal Dutch (an ex-para who was once trained by Sobel when he was a full screw) returned with buddy Mick and said "We saw Sobel in town", I promptly replied with "horsesh*t". Only 2 of the lads claimed to have spotted him and no more than that number actually believed them. Parky, Gwil, Medic-Mong and Myself decided to hire mopeds that day and upon leaving the hire center, who did we see?? "f*ck me, that’s Sobel"

    There he was - in all his glory, standing there with his skin-tight faded maroon T-Shirt and SHORT blue shorts (with 2 PARA inscribed on them).

    "Hello sir, what are you doing here", "I'm on F*cking holiday what does it look like, is Dutch here?", "yes sir", "Well tell that twat to keep away if he sees me, anyway lads, see you later"

    That was the last I ever saw of Sobel, some say he was spotted in Mexico with a dirty great Jiggalo in tow, others say he went to live in a cave on the face of Pen-y-fan. We will never know.

    on a serious note, I think he tried going back into 10 PARA but got sacked for being an utter twat.
  2. was there a point?
  3. deleted
  4. Great first post..... :roll:

    What is your point?
  5. Phantom - the point is it's a military anecdote. On a quasi-military website. It's also humorous as the title of the vignette, "The Lonely Officer" will indicate to all those of but the least literary bent.
  6. There is no Moral to this story. It is quite simply a story I thought some may find amusing and from what I have heard, this guy Sobel is very well known. I'm sure it will appeal to the right people.
  7. I think I know just the officer you are talking about!! I was supposed to have been on that tour had it go ahead when it was first trawled for!! Remember you lot complaining about him whenever you were in the TAC and from what I remember of him it all sounds about right!

    Will be returning to **** in June - is he still about? What coy are u? Im trying to get back into contact with all the C coy lads
  8. I was in B Coy but I knew a few of the lads in C - I think OG was in your lot wasn't he?
  9. Yes he is - top bloke. Don't think any of the B coy lads I knew went on Fingal but to be honest at the time I was flapping around prepping for uni.
  10. You know what happened to his Tash don't you?
  11. No go on.......
  12. What happened to this tash then?
  13. During the tour a group of us decided to gather on OG's balcony wearing Respirators and green kit. We got 2 of the RA guys to knock on his room door, upon answering he was greeted by the buzzing of clippers being held up by this RA lad. As he looked in confusion, we all stormed in from his balcony and pinned him down, we then shaved his tash off. We didn't manage to remove the lot in one sitting so we arranged with the SGT Major to pin him down again and take it off with an Immac strip. His wife loves it and he's never looked back since.

    I think the SGT Major was your one from Farnham. Sgt Major T*****S
  14. Hehe! Knew it had gone but he wouldn't say why when I went home for a visit!

    Can't remember the Farnham SGT Major, but heard on the grapevine C coy csm upsticked and went to the great sandpit as a 'security consultant'
  15. Well we played another prank and that was on the said CSM & "Simmo". They were out of their room on a visit somewhere, we broke into thier room via the balcony, deposited the contents of a talc bottle on top of the ceiling fan blades and scarpered. When they got back, all we could see was a sudden cloud of talc shoot out of the blacony doors.

    Hilarity Prevails!