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The logistics of bereavement

Back story:

At the end of April, a very good friend of mine died tragically as the result of a fall at home. I'd only seen him a few hours before.

He was South African with no immediate family here. I and SWMBO have had to deal with (some of) his affairs. This involved getting in touch with employers, freezing bank accounts, contacting pensions companies and so on.

What has become depressingly familiar is that none of these organisations, in their various dial-in options, have the ability to get straight through to anyone who deals with bereavements - they may have bereavement teams (of, as I am learning highly variable but usually poor utility) but you simply cannot get at them.

When you finally do, they have no facility to deal with you via email. Many will not accept interim death certificates. When you finally speak to someone and ask for an email address, there is either a refusal ("We don't do things via email.") or there is only an 'enquiries@...' address available.

The standard of care in this country for those having to deal with someone's affairs is shocking.

The government has at least set up a 'Tell us once' page, which allows many public-sector organisations (DVLA, Passport Office, etc.) to be told with a single mouse-click/electronic version of a death certificate.

The private sector, given that we are 16 months in pandemic and lockdowns of varying severities, is woefully off the pace.

Oh, and, "We are currently experiencing very high call volumes..."
when my mum snuffed it a couple of years ago I had to deal with her bank, Barclays (my dad is getting ever more senile).

Despite my general contempt for such organisations the lass on the front desk and the department who dealt with such matters were actually very good.

This was before the pandemic, but from the way they dealt with it I doubt if they would be anything other than competent now.

My problem is that as my dad is going ever more ga-ga if I snuff it (due to either my alcohol consumption or continuing to go into the hills/kayaking/travel/reserves/whatever) how the hell do I make sure he is looked after?

ETA: Only child, his family all emigrated/dead. No real close friends I could load it onto, etc.
 
It has been a nightmare for my Mum, who being 80 has not only had to deal with losing her husband of 59 years but dealing with the uncompassionate arses at banks and building societies. Luckily I have been able to do some of it, but the hoops you have to jump through to satisfy THEIR systems is unbelievable.
 
It has been a nightmare for my Mum, who being 80 has not only had to deal with losing her husband of 59 years but dealing with the uncompassionate arses at banks and building societies. Luckily I have been able to do some of it, but the hoops you have to jump through to satisfy THEIR systems is unbelievable.
I can bury or burn someone with an interim death certificate and yet need a full and final one for any of the financial stuff.

It's preposterous and unnecessarily hard on the emotions.
 
A slight drift.

At the time my wife died, she was in receipt of a small pension from Bucks County Council.
I telephoned to inform them of her death and end the pension payments.
The young (I figured) man on the 'phone offered commiserations and requested a copy of the death certificate.
My immediate thought was WTF, but I sent one anyway.

A short time later I was notified that I qualified for 50% of dead wife's pension.
It's only enough for a couple of bottles of wine per month, but welcome nonetheless
 
I can bury or burn someone with an interim death certificate and yet need a full and final one for any of the financial stuff.

It's preposterous and unnecessarily hard on the emotions.
It is, the Government one stop site for registering is brilliant I have to say, but anything outside that is ridiculous.
 
I really don't understand the mindset of some of these companies. After dealing with several of them, (particularly Aviva), when my Mum died I would never be a customer of theirs under any circumstances.

You get some warning about how difficult it's going to be when you go to register a death - the clerk asks you, in your befuddled, unprepared, state: "how many copies do you need?" - and it's never enough.
 
Currently browsing this thread as Mrs Clubs Senior is about to enter a Hospice at 8am in the morning. She's 85, and the chances of her seeing Christmas are slim to none. Dad still at home, 92nd Birthday on Christmas Day. It's going to be a rough ride for him plus my two sisters.

They have been taking care of domestics. My turn will come to sort the Admin out.

It's time.
 
Currently browsing this thread as Mrs Clubs Senior is about to enter a Hospice at 8am in the morning. She's 85, and the chances of her seeing Christmas are slim to none. Dad still at home, 92nd Birthday on Christmas Day. It's going to be a rough ride for him plus my two sisters.

They have been taking care of domestics. My turn will come to sort the Admin out.

It's time.
Rough old time mate. I'm sorry to hear that.
 
My wife died 9 months ago, still serving and in the middle of lock-down (funeral limited to 30). I have been very well looked after by the Army and all other agencies. No complaints from this call-sign.
 
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