Little probably being the operative word. Not working the weekend so I thought I would get the benefit of a lie in. I don't have the opportunity often, mainly because of little B&T's shouting and screaming and running in and out of the bedroom. Set the whole thing up before going to bed, DVD queued up for them, breakfast cereal in their bowls ready and the promise of a swimming trip if they would let me sleep in. 0730hrs BINK I'm awake, normally not a problem, close the eyes and drift off again. Oh No! Someone had a different idea. I woke to to quite an impressive morning glory. "Look it's to early for you to appear, go back to sleep and let me have another hour". Did it hell! It just stood there like a Guardsman on parade. I tried the normal tricks like thinking about the washing up, mowing the lawn, Mrs B&T naked, but he wouldn't budge. Right!! Lie on stomach, No, shit that hurts. Lie on my side facing wifey, nothing (perhaps I should have put the light on). Lie on my side facing the other way, nope, again nothing, apart from having the bonus of not being able to roll out of bed. After nearly an hour of tossing (excuse the pun) and turning he was still there. Ok Ok, I will have to sort this out. Options? 1. Wake the wife.....Nope I was sober and didn't have a hangover. 2. Knock one out where I was......Nope. If I was going to do this I was going to do it properly and enjoy it and not risk Frankensteins Bride waking up. 3. Raid my porn stash for inspiration, disappear of to bath room, lock door and enjoy the moment (If slightly resentful of him because he woke me up). Yep that would be the one. After 5 minutes of stumbling around the bedroom looking for my stash. Trying not to wake the wifey or shut me knob in the cupboard. Next step of operation is to move from bedroom to bathroom without kids seeing. Open bedroom door carefully, peep out. All is quiet, good the little gits arn't awake yet. Quick double check that Mrs B&T hasn't woken up, re-check kids, still quiet! Good...now make dash to bathroom. Mission accomplished. Into bathroom, lock door. OK! quick kit check. Porn..Check Lucky wank towel..Check (Well to be honest it's the wifeys flannel, I just tell her it just dried soap) Door locked..Check Post wank smokes.. Stiffy..Negative. What the fuck! Where the hell did that go. I'm sure I had it when I got in here. Had a good look around but it had gone. Again not a problem. I had all that I needed (well apart from the stiffy) but that was sure to reappear after a little pursuasion. Would he hell! A good 1/2 an hour of beating him into submission, an interuptions from the brats. "Dad, are you going to be long?" "Gnnrrr uummm uummpphh, NO! Go away" And nothing. I swear the bloody thing was shrinking, like a turtles head going back into it's shell, and I am convinced he had a little smile on his face. "Right you little twat, your on your own now". Throughout the rest of the day he kept on making little appearances. I didn't give in though, a quick flick on his head and he would go into hiding again. I feltl that I had a small victory over him, but as the weekend progressed I felt more and more uncertain. Who won?