"I can't seem to find the OS map for Hereford and the surrounding areas..."
"Excuse me, but these computers are for researching geneaology and not playing Donkey Kong!"
"Pfffttt" as a wino opens another can of Spesh Brew.
So called humorous ringtones going off followed by "Sanji! Intramafizubverkuss, inshAllah, shukria." etc.
"Zzzzzzzz..." (to be done in a Nepalese accent.)
You may think I'm joking, but try the Surrey libraries...