The Leith Police DONT chaseth us!

Auld-Yin

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#1
From the Edinburgh Evenigh News 8/11/07

The e-mails are spot on

Anger as police complaint becomes net hit
ALAN McEWEN
CRIME REPORTER (amcewen@edinburghnews.com)
IT is a frustration most people have felt at one time or another, hanging on the phone, waiting in vain to be connected to the service they need.

But one Leith man responded in an extreme way when he couldn't get through to the police after waiting around 20 minutes for someone to pick up the phone.

He sent off a sarcastic and hilarious e-mail expressing his frustration. However, his brief correspondence with the force has not remained private, as he expected.

It has instead become a minor internet phenomenon, having been sent to countless offices and homes and posted on at least 15 websites. The e-mail writer has been left furious at what he sees as a breach of confidence by the police.

He insists that it must have been leaked to a member of the public by a police officer but the force is not investigating. The Evening News has agreed to withhold the e-mail writer's name as he fears he may be targeted by youths he has complained about.

He sent the e-mail message after three weeks of putting up with a group of teenagers causing a racket, playing football and messing about with furniture abandoned in West Cromwell Street, near his home.

Concerned that the youths, aged around 16 to 18, might be tempting disaster by playing with a gas canister, he tried in vain to telephone the police. His partner said he had composed his tirade after being driven to distraction by the failure of anyone to answer the phone.

She said: "It had been going on for a while and the police were doing nothing about it. He sent the e-mail to try to make his point that he wasn't happy.

"Then on Monday I got a phone call from a friend. She works at a recruitment agency and the e-mail had landed in her office. She recognised the address and told me about it.

"We were angry. It was supposed to be a confidential e-mail to the police about the problems we were having.

"We never sent it to anyone but the station, so the leak came from the police."

The message has already popped up on a bewildering array of websites, including ones dedicated to parenting, clubbing and cycling, as well as the Dundee University Sub Aqua Club. The sender and his partner were due to visit Leith police station today to discuss the leaking of the e-mail with a senior officer.

The message has also been circulated among officers at the Fettes force HQ since being sent to the police on August 25.

Community beat officer Pc John Pennycook sent an e-mail back urging the resident to contact him about the nuisance problem.

In a second e-mail, the frustrated resident expresses surprise at learning his street has a beat officer, congratulating Pc Pennycook on his "covert skills".

Last week, Pc Pennycook visited the street again to talk with the youths, but residents say the antisocial behaviour has continued.

The sender's partner added: "The police say they want to engage with the kids, which basically means talking to them and then leaving them to it. They've not stayed away."

Another resident in West Cromwell Street said the teenagers had been damaging property and shouting and swearing at residents for months. The pensioner added: "They use the area as a football pitch and cause a racket here most nights. The police don't seem to do much about it."

A police spokesman said: "A complaint regarding youths playing football in a street in north Leith was received by Lothian and Borders Police and was brought to the attention of the community beat officer for the area. Since receiving the complaint, the beat officer has met with the resident and outlined the police response to this issue
The e-mails:

The original e-mail

Dear Sir/madam/automated telephone answering service
Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Leith police station to pick up a telephone I have decided
to abandon the idea and try e-mailing you instead. Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this message on to
your colleagues in Leith by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or ouji board.
As I’m writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments (I think you call them youths) in We s t
Cromwell Street which is just off Commercial Street in Leith. Six of them seem happy enough to play a game which
involves kicking a football against an iron gate with the force of a meteorite. This causes an earth shattering CLANG!
which rings throughout the entire building. This game is now in it’s third week and as I am unsure how the scoring
system works, I have no idea if it will end any time soon.
The remaining five walking abortions are happily rummaging through several bags of rubbish and items of furniture
that someone has so thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie bins. One of them has found a saw and is setting about a
discarded chair like a beaver on speed. I fear that it’s only a matter of time before they turn their limited attention to
the bottle of calor gas that is lying on it’s side between the two bins. If they could be relied on to only blow their own
arms and legs off then I would happily leave them to it. I would even go so far as to lend them the matches. Unfortunately
they are far more likely to blow up half the street with them and I’ve just finished decorating the kitchen.
What I suggest is this. after replying to this e-mail with worthless assurances that the matter is being looked into and
will be dealt with, why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably bath night) when there are no mutants
around then drive up the street in a panda car before doing a three point turn and disappearing again. This will of
course serve no other purpose than to remind us what policemen actually look like.
I trust that when I take a clawhammer to the skull of one of these throwbacks you’ll do me the same courtesy of giving
me a four month head start before coming to arrest me.
I remain sir, your obedient servant
?????????
The police response:

Mr ??????
I have read your e-mail and understand you frustration at the problems caused by youth playing in the area and
the problems you have encountered in trying to contact the police.
As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend an offer of discussing the matter fully
with you.
Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details (address / telephone number) and when
may be suitable.
Regards
PC ???
?????????????
Community Beat Officer
The reposte

Dear PC ?????
First of all I would like to thank you for the speedy response to my original e-mail. 16 hours and 38 minutes must
be a personal record for Leith Police station and rest assured that I will forward these details to Norris McWhirter
for inclusion in his next book.
Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has it’s own community beat off i c e r. May I be the first to congratulate
you on your covert skills. In the five or so years I have lived in West Cromwell Street, I have never seen you.
Do you hide up a tree or have you gone deep undercover and infiltrated the gang itself? Are you the one with the
acne and the moustache on his forehead or the one with a chin like a wash hand basin? It’s surely only a matter of
time before you are headhunted by MI5.
Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking place in Leith such as smoking in a public place
or being Muslim without due care and attention, is it too much to ask for a policeman to explain (using words of no
more than two syllables at a time) to these twats that they might want to play their strange football game elsewhere.
The pitch behind the Citadel or the one at DKs are both within spitting distance as is the bottom of the Albert
Dock.
Should you wish to discuss these matters further you should feel free to contact me on ??? ????. If after 25 minutes
I have still failed to answer, I’ll buy you a large one in the Compass Bar.
R e g a r d s
???????
P.S If you think that this is sarcasm, think yourself lucky that you don’t work for the cleansing department.
http://edinburghnews.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=1775082007
 
#2
eleven failed medical experiments... Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has it’s own community beat off i c e r. May I be the first to congratulate you on your covert skills.... remaining five walking abortions
He's certainly got a way with words and yes of course he can have a four month head start after using the claw hammer. All the prisons are full so all he has to do is ensure he's an ethnic minority before committing the act :wink:
 
#4
PMSL when I first read them in the Evening News. Good Drills, that man! :D :D

Then I realised just how accurate this guy's views are; policing in Edinburgh is a fcuking joke. Lothian and Borders Police are practically AWOL. When/if they eventually turn up in response to a member of the public's call, they never seem to actually nick anyone. They seem to favour a "softly, softly" approach, which means the local scum treat them -and the law abiding majority - with utter contempt. :twisted:

Obviously, some fat, lazy cnut at the local station does'nt like someone telling the truth and has decided to leak the emails to the press. I hope he/she is found and disciplined, but I'm not gonna hold my breath: when it comes to protecting their own, coppers close ranks faster than a Guards Regiment on ceremonial duties... :x
 
#5
:D Good stuff his writing is funny hope he writes a book, we need people like him to make us laugh. Make you wonder what the local plod do? P.C. Plod and Noddy would do a better job. :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
#6
Sounds about right for Tayside Police as well, whose only two duties are guarding sheep and ignoring chav based crime. Oh and speeding fines. Lots and lots of speeding fines.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#7
I bought my grandson a Lego police station for his birthday. When he opened it, it was empty, apart from a note that said'because of lack of resources, and in order to improve our service to customers, this police station will now be closed and all officers re-assigned to Diversity, Community and Ethnic Gay/Lesbian/transgender issues'
 
#8
arby said:
Sounds about right for Tayside Police as well, whose only two duties are guarding sheep and ignoring chav based crime. Oh and speeding fines. Lots and lots of speeding fines.
ah theres no justice like angry mob justice :pissed: :threaten: :pissedoff: start your own police force
 
#9
I just sent this to a friend who is a copper with L&B plods, he has been working in Edinburgh for the last few weeks, after a few grumbling noises he admitted the wooly suits are all passing it round the rest rooms and sniggering up their sleeves. Strangely the big men in blue are not quiet so amused.
 
#10
arby said:
Sounds about right for Tayside Police as well, whose only two duties are guarding sheep and ignoring chav based crime. Oh and speeding fines. Lots and lots of speeding fines.
Sounds like S Wales. I can't work out what you have to do to get arrested in Cardiff, Bridgend or Swansea on a Friday night - probabally smoke in a bar. Everything else seems fair game.
 
#11
I wonder if I can send it to Durham none communications centre.
 
#12
A very amusing story and by the way it seems to be spreading itself around from one person or group to another, many are being entertained by it.

At least it would be were it not for two points.

Firstly, this frustration felt by tax paying, law abiding citizens is not restricted to this one area. There are the same things happening all over the country. Were it just a case of the police being too busy with more serious crime I could sort of understand it. But, even those who commit very serious crime are quite often able to poke a middle finger at the rest of society because they have all the lawyers, legal aid, CPS and lack of police resources stacking the odds in their favour at the detriment to the rights of the victim. As has been pointed out, there is no shortage of speed cameras, parking fines or fines for taking a drink of coke at traffic lights.... but they bring money in..... cynical, me?

Secondly, any communication with the police would be expected to be in confidence, not found to be spreading around the wider community for their amusement. Is it any wonder that some people, who feel that if it is known that they have passed on information to the police would be at risk, just shut their doors and suffer in silence? The police state that the community should help them to help themselves. But it is this double whammy of lack of confidence that ensures that they don't. Speak out and they become a target... and even if they do the police don't seem to do anything anyway.... making them an OPEN target.

A couple of amusing emails yes, but some very serious points.
 
#13
Plant-Pilot said:
A very amusing story and by the way it seems to be spreading itself around from one person or group to another, many are being entertained by it.

At least it would be were it not for two points.

Firstly, this frustration felt by tax paying, law abiding citizens is not restricted to this one area. There are the same things happening all over the country. Were it just a case of the police being too busy with more serious crime I could sort of understand it. But, even those who commit very serious crime are quite often able to poke a middle finger at the rest of society because they have all the lawyers, legal aid, CPS and lack of police resources stacking the odds in their favour at the detriment to the rights of the victim. As has been pointed out, there is no shortage of speed cameras, parking fines or fines for taking a drink of coke at traffic lights.... but they bring money in..... cynical, me?

Secondly, any communication with the police would be expected to be in confidence, not found to be spreading around the wider community for their amusement. Is it any wonder that some people, who feel that if it is known that they have passed on information to the police would be at risk, just shut their doors and suffer in silence? The police state that the community should help them to help themselves. But it is this double whammy of lack of confidence that ensures that they don't. Speak out and they become a target... and even if they do the police don't seem to do anything anyway.... making them an OPEN target.

A couple of amusing emails yes, but some very serious points.
Seconded.

Cyinical? Anyone who is'nt cynical has'nt been paying attention... :x
 
#14
andyboy443 said:
arby said:
Sounds about right for Tayside Police as well, whose only two duties are guarding sheep and ignoring chav based crime. Oh and speeding fines. Lots and lots of speeding fines.
ah theres no justice like angry mob justice :pissed: :threaten: :pissedoff: start your own police force

Could it be any worse than the Police Farce we've got already :?
 
#15
flamingo said:
arby said:
Sounds about right for Tayside Police as well, whose only two duties are guarding sheep and ignoring chav based crime. Oh and speeding fines. Lots and lots of speeding fines.
Sounds like S Wales. I can't work out what you have to do to get arrested in Cardiff, Bridgend or Swansea on a Friday night - probabally smoke in a bar. Everything else seems fair game.
Ditto for Northants police - however they are very, very good at supporting our Neighbourhood Watch scheme. Why my sleepy little village gets a CCTV van parked in the high street a few times a week, when our last major crime was someone nicking a pumpkin is beyond me...... My little crime-free village has resources pumped into it, whilst other force areas where crime is rife, and I've been held up at knifepoint on a few occasions seem to be Police no-go areas! I posted a few months ago, about how a little scroat lobbed a stone at my car windscreen doing 60mph, and I had the Police 'call centre operative' tell me this wasn't a Police issue..........
 
#16
All police are cnuts.
All police are lazy.
All police are stupid.
All police are arrogant.
All police are ignorant.
All police are racist.
All police were bullied at school.
All police should be sacked.
All police get paid too much.
All police hate the public.

Feel free to add to the list.
 
#17
scottishcammy said:
All police are cnuts.
All police are lazy.
All police are stupid.
All police are arrogant.
All police are ignorant.
All police are racist.
All police were bullied at school.
All police should be sacked.
All police get paid too much.
All police hate the public.

Feel free to add to the list.
Nah, that pretty much covers it...
 
#18
scottishcammy said:
All police are cnuts.
All police are lazy.
All police are stupid.
All police are arrogant.
All police are ignorant.
All police are racist.
All police were bullied at school.
All police should be sacked.
All police get paid too much.
All police hate the public.

Feel free to add to the list.
Na, not really true. It's a bit like saying "all squaddies are thick". Which is of course the conclusion that would be reached by anyone who read your post.
 
#19
scottishcammy said:
All police are cnuts.
All police are lazy.
All police are stupid.
All police are arrogant.
All police are ignorant.
All police are racist.
All police were bullied at school.
All police should be sacked.
All police get paid too much.
All police hate the public.

Feel free to add to the list.
I must admit, my local police are excellent! We have a local beat bobby, who we actually get see in REAL LIFE on a regular basis, and who takes a great interest in local crime (or lack of!) issues. There are a whole host of crime reduction schemes going on locally, and crime in the immediate local area is almost unknown. If only these resources were put into all areas of the force......
 
#20
We had a great local beat bobby. He sorted out the youth nuisance problem in our village. He was of course ex squaddie. and he put the time in.

He transferred out cos his so called mates wouldn't help.

Now with their brand new state of the art comms centre and computer aided despatch, it's bloody abysmal. You ring in, wait 20/30/40 minutes tell the operator where you live they say WHERE???, which town is it near.

Thats it, no one turns up. I tried to get the Chief Constable charged with neglect of duty. apparently they are above the law.

We'd love to see speed cops here, we've got little sh*ts trying to achieve warp speed in their corsas and clios with impunity. tell the cops they do this between 12pm and 1.30pm to pose for the school kids They turn up at 10 am or 2.30 pm and say we saw no ships.
 

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