The Killer political question

#1
When,as is almost inevitable,the local political party workers arrive at chez moi what is the one question guaranteed to get rid of them?
I am quite a mild mannered bloke,so the customary "fek orf" isn't my style,so I need an appropriate alternative.
Any suggestions?
 
#2
"So hows selling out the country and the working man going?"

Im guessing they are labour?
 
#3
vvaannmmaann said:
When,as is almost inevitable,the local political party workers arrive at chez moi what is the one question guaranteed to get rid of them?
I am quite a mild mannered bloke,so the customary "fek orf" isn't my style,so I need an appropriate alternative.
Any suggestions?
If Labour: "When are you going to get Margaret Thatcher in to sort out the mess you have made of this country?"

If Conservative: "Hasn't Gordon Brown done a good job?"


msr
 
#4
"Can you get me on Disability?"

Every other bugger seems to sell their vote for personal gain, why not?
 
#5
Each must ask his own according to his morals/conscience/requirements.
Mine would be..........
Would you support a referendum as promised on the EU?
Are you in favour of capital and corporal punishment as per the Singaporean mode?
Would you uphold the first duty of Government which is to Defend Britain and it's peoples?
Would you be rigorous in supporting an immigration policy that allowed only those who would benefit the country entry?
My vote just may be determined by the answers given.
 
#6
Ask whoever appears at the door what their position on floating islands for duck ponds is.
 
#7
Just yabba at them and drool.

Occaisonally shouting "their coming to get me", when they ask who is coming tell them the space beatles.

See how long they stay for.
 
#8
Ask if they'd like to come in & hear about the love of Our Lord Jesus?
 
#9
I let my dogs "announce" the arrival of visitors.

Those who are welcome already know that the savage beasts are going to lick them rather than to rip them to shreds and they do stop barking when told.

Carol singers, Halloween oiks and other unwanted types do however get the full treatment from self or Mrs B: big pantomime of barely being able to hold back the furious Hounds from Hell.

"Sorry, cannot hear you...back, damn you, back........"
 
#10
Ask questions about famous killers. Stroke yourself while doing so.

If you can let a little bit of saliva escape and dribble down your chin while grinning loosely, that will add to the effect.
 
#11
smartascarrots said:
Ask questions about famous killers. Stroke yourself while doing so.

If you can let a little bit of saliva escape and dribble down your chin while grinning loosely, that will add to the effect.
Emitting a bit of sex wee to slowly stain your trousers also works wonders.
 
#14
cometcatcher said:
blonde_guy said:
Come out with some outrageously racist/sexist questions that will have them fleeing.
These are people like Ashie we are talking about here, they'll just see you as a challenge to be 'educated'.
Or more likely a thought crime offender to be prosecuted and imprisoned.
 
#15
Since the status of working-class heterosexual males of Anglo-Saxon extraction has been gradually reduced to that of wife-battering, homophobic, Islamaphobic racist peodophile dole-scrounging psychopaths by just about every minority interest group that now drives social policy in England and Wales, when does your particular party intend to finish the job by introducing compulsory castration for them?

Are they actually allowed to vote in this election?
 
#16
"Do you feel that the Bundaberg* Group-controlled-press has been covering up the involvement of the Space Lizards in the global conspiracy to bring down the banks which caused the global recession, decreased space launcher demand and thus allowed the NATO mind-control satellites to be launched more cheaply than might otherwise have been the case?"

Keep a square of tinfoil by the door to put on your head throughout the conversation.


*Yes, I know it's "Bilderberg", but see if they know their rum!
 
#17
cometcatcher said:
blonde_guy said:
Come out with some outrageously racist/sexist questions that will have them fleeing.
These are people like Ashie we are talking about here, they'll just see you as a challenge to be 'educated'.
At the EU elections I had the local Ashie/ Labour muppet at the door canvassing.
I'm afraid I displayed a complete lack of immagination or whit and told him to fook off and get off my property. I suffered an almost overwhelming desire to beat the cnut with a sledgehammer.
 
#18
jagman said:
cometcatcher said:
blonde_guy said:
Come out with some outrageously racist/sexist questions that will have them fleeing.
These are people like Ashie we are talking about here, they'll just see you as a challenge to be 'educated'.
At the EU elections I had the local Ashie/ Labour muppet at the door canvassing.
I'm afraid I displayed a complete lack of immagination or whit and told him to fook off and get off my property. I suffered an almost overwhelming desire to beat the cnut with a sledgehammer.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Keep the dork talking for as long as humanly possible, so that he cannot go and mislead the feeble-minded among your neighbours who may possibly be persuaded to vote for his dangerously incompetent party.

Also, ask him to arrange a lift to the polls for you on polling day.

All the best,

John.
 
#20
Invite him in to play with your un-chipped, uninsured, hideously badly-trained "pit bulls". Or point out that it's just as easy to play outside the door and that you'll be back in a minute.
 

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