The joys of bidet.

as I recall, Kodachrome had to be processed in an authorized Kodak Lab. Those slides must have caused a stir in quality control.
That's a good point. They had to be sent away and weren't even developed in the shop where you handed them in. Wonder how he managed it as I'm doubting they fell under a sort of National Geographic interest picture. I remember them well, Usually two pictures, crimper walking away and the act itself with a bum cigar in mid drop. Even other options had to go to a lab and only standard film rolls could be developed. I know that part as my old man had a photo shop for a while.
 
German and Austrian poop catchers in their unusually shaped bowls gave me the impression that the citizens of those countries were obsessive scatologists. Now I'm not so sure it wasn't to stop wedding rings and wristwatches from being flushed away... allegedly

...
I don’t know what the motivation was for the shelf toilets, but they certainly made sure that I didn’t hang around reading the newspaper in the office cludgie when I worked over there.
 
That's a good point. They had to be sent away and weren't even developed in the shop where you handed them in.
THAT REMINDS ME [Oh, fcuk! Here he goes again.]

During my posting to the UK I managed a number of three-day passes which I spent o=in London. a photography mag led me to Jason's Studio, 27 James Street where I spent many pleasant hours photographing the nude English womanhood.

Back at my station, I went to the hobby shop to process some black and white. While the prints were coming off the print dryer, the old bloke i/c of the hobby shop walked in, picked up a couple of the dried prints and greeted me with, "Ere' You can't do that there 'ere." "Why not?" "Them's pornography." "You mean even if I sent them to Kodak, they wouldn't process them?" "Correct." He was in my crosshairs.

I pulled a colour print of the same model from my wallet and handed it to him. "Look at the back of the print."

Processed by Eastman Kodak, Ltd., Hemel Hempstead

He handed the print back, turned on his heels, and walked out without a word. I have that print to this day, but cannot think where it might be.
 
Last edited:
THE REMINDS ME [Oh, fcuk! Here he goes again.]

During my posting to the UK I managed a number of three-day passes which I spent o=in London. a photography mag led me to Jason's Studio, 27 James Street where I spent many pleasant hours photographing the nude English womanhood.

Back at my station, I went to the hobby shop to process some black and white. While the prints were coming off the print dryer, the old bloke i/c of the hobby shop walked in, picked up a couple of the dried prints and greeted me with, "Ere' You can't do that there 'ere." "Why not?" "Them's pornography." "You mean even if I sent them to Kodak, they wouldn't process them?" "Correct." He was in my crosshairs.

I pulled a colour print of the same model from my wallet and handed it to him. "Look at the back of the print."

Processed by Eastman Kodak, Ltd., Hemel Hempstead

He handed the print back, turned on his heels, and walked out without a word. I have that print to this day, but cannot think where it might be.
That needs a like as well. There was one occasion my Dad developed somebody's film roll and it didn't get printed. Customer was told to go elsewhere "for that sort of thing". If only I'd been a bit older, I'm sure I could have sneakily run off a few prints in order to em, cough, check composition and exposure assuming of course they were photographs of the female form.
 
I don’t know what the motivation was for the shelf toilets, but they certainly made sure that I didn’t hang around reading the newspaper in the office cludgie when I worked over there.
I think it's something to do with ring worm,you can inspect your creation and see if there are any worms or bands or eggs in it. .It wont help you but at least you can have a look,it's actually quite interesting.
 

Attachments

I think it's something to do with ring worm,you can inspect your creation and see if there are any worms or bands or eggs in it. .It wont help you but at least you can have a look,it's actually quite interesting.
Regarding the "shelf", my mum, who studied at Heidelberg in the 1950's, said that the bogs had two grades of roll on offer - one was a more greaseproof, Izal-esque formulation that one was supposed to place on the shelf prior to releasing the, er, sample, the other being a softer variety; this latter being closer to plain and simple honest bumwad.

The idea behind the Izal-ish paper DIY offering tray was apparently to ensure that the "debris" was whisked away by the flush as effectively as possible.
However, I haven't ever heard anyone else mention this use of two grades of paper, nor have I come across it myself in my not infrequent travels in Germany, where a few shelves still exist.

Can anyone here confirm or deny the historical existence of that elusive harder slippery paper, and as a side thought could it perhaps explain the existance of Izal, which I remember from my youth as being about as suitable for anal cleansing as pieces of a broken window?
 
Regarding the "shelf", my mum, who studied at Heidelberg in the 1950's, said that the bogs had two grades of roll on offer - one was a more greaseproof, Izal-esque formulation that one was supposed to place on the shelf prior to releasing the, er, sample, the other being a softer variety; this latter being closer to plain and simple honest bumwad.

The idea behind the Izal-ish paper DIY offering tray was apparently to ensure that the "debris" was whisked away by the flush as effectively as possible.
However, I haven't ever heard anyone else mention this use of two grades of paper, nor have I come across it myself in my not infrequent travels in Germany, where a few shelves still exist.

Can anyone here confirm or deny the historical existence of that elusive harder slippery paper, and as a side thought could it perhaps explain the existance of Izal, which I remember from my youth as being about as suitable for **** cleansing as pieces of a broken window?
We never had shelves in the UK so no, I don't think shelves were responsible for Izal.
 
Regarding the "shelf", my mum, who studied at Heidelberg in the 1950's, said that the bogs had two grades of roll on offer - one was a more greaseproof, Izal-esque formulation that one was supposed to place on the shelf prior to releasing the, er, sample, the other being a softer variety; this latter being closer to plain and simple honest bumwad.

The idea behind the Izal-ish paper DIY offering tray was apparently to ensure that the "debris" was whisked away by the flush as effectively as possible.
However, I haven't ever heard anyone else mention this use of two grades of paper, nor have I come across it myself in my not infrequent travels in Germany, where a few shelves still exist.

Can anyone here confirm or deny the historical existence of that elusive harder slippery paper, and as a side thought could it perhaps explain the existance of Izal, which I remember from my youth as being about as suitable for **** cleansing as pieces of a broken window?
I've lived here for 34 years it's comfy bum all the way here:boogie::boogie::boogie:. Izal was in the UK and that was horrendous!:oops:. If you come here still check for worms though.;)
 
We never had shelves in the UK so no, I don't think shelves were responsible for Izal.
I know, I was just thinking that maybe Carruthers Izal Junior might have encountered German shelf paper on his "grand tour", misunderstood its purpose, and thought to himself "by Jove, pater's bogroll mills could make this stuff for a fraction of the cost of our honest British roll, and if our quadratic crania'd brethren can learn to clean their arrses with it then so can we... perhaps... anyway we can really 'clean up' our profit margins, what ho?! "
 
I know, I was just thinking that maybe Carruthers Izal Junior might have encountered German shelf paper on his "grand tour", misunderstood its purpose, and thought to himself "by Jove, pater's bogroll mills could make this stuff for a fraction of the cost of our honest British roll, and if our quadratic crania'd brethren can learn to clean their arrses with it then so can we... perhaps... anyway we can really 'clean up' our profit margins, what ho?! "
Apparently it's not as "unforgiving" or abrasive as it was.
Minor British Institutions: Izal toilet paper

This seems somehow fitting: Leather Arse - or how I survived Izal toilet tissue.
The Other Side of Sixty: Leather Arse - or how I survived Izal toilet tissue.

There are thread's about it. Here's one:
His Majesty's Izal TP - can toilet paper survive 75 years at sea?
His Majesty's Izal TP - can toilet paper survive 75 years at sea?

Vintage toilet paper prior to 1930s had splinters!!!!
Splinter-free toilet paper didn’t exist until the 1930’s

How to use German toilets:
https://www.german-way.com/german-toilets/

i seem to recall Austrian and German toilet pans being tall and ornate compared to a typical UK pan. The flush seemed fairly vigorous though, which was just as well. Quite how a shelf was supposed to deal with a Cumberland Curl, a "foot long" (subway TM) or parallel parking, has never been adequately explained.
 
The idea behind the Izal-ish paper DIY offering tray was apparently to ensure that the "debris" was whisked away by the flush as effectively as possible.
However, I haven't ever heard anyone else mention this use of two grades of paper, nor have I come across it myself in my not infrequent travels in Germany, where a few shelves still exist.

Can anyone here confirm or deny the historical existence of that elusive harder slippery paper, and as a side thought could it perhaps explain the existance of Izal, which I remember from my youth as being about as suitable for **** cleansing as pieces of a broken window?
A Boxhead mate of mine had two grades of paper in his shitter. There was also a bar, (The Umbrella Bar?) in Gutersloh that had the twin dispensers. It was explained to me exactly as you say, to prevent shit-maps on the porcelain.
 
I have bidet toilets in my house, which are very helpful due to my dodgy hands.

As a modern nation we seem to be behind others in this washing delight, even clatty bastärds like the French and Greeks have adopted the propensity for a clean starfish.

An added bonus is that if you’ve been a bit keen on the Guinness, having a jet of warm water blasting up your trumpet helps get things moving.

The downside to all this is when you have to leave your bidet behind and resort to paper (I use wet wipes), it invariably causes an itchy starfish.

Is there anyone else who enjoys the benefits of a good bum douch?

Wet-Wipes will block up your bog, they do not desolve like terlic roll.
 
A Boxhead mate of mine had two grades of paper in his shitter. There was also a bar, (The Umbrella Bar?) in Gutersloh that had the twin dispensers. It was explained to me exactly as you say, to prevent shit-maps on the porcelain.
I just used normal bog roll on the shelf - one sheet down before shitting. Never had a problem with skid maps on the porcelain, and no need for two grades of paper.
 

smeg-head

ADC
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Well, having deposited something akin to a midget sub this morning, I could definitely do with a bit of ring-relief. The old choccy starfish feels like it been stretched over an elephant's head! Coupled with the fact that I've had to use half a blog roll up me arrse to achieve that pristine but well-used look, and this morning's visit to the ablutions offices was not a success. I did however, manage to fire out a small number of Farmer Giles to add a fresh colour to the porcelain.
 
Last edited:
I think the standard response of "photos or it didn't happen" can be dispensed with in this case...
 
could do with it now, probably having leftover curry for breakfast not that good after all.
it was a good hot curry, at least the loo paper was soft and absorbable!
better out than in:eek:
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
old_fat_and_hairy The Book Club 0
dingerr The Intelligence Cell 1
edd1989 The Intelligence Cell 255

Similar threads


Latest Threads

Top