The Joy of "Jackspeak"?

#1
It seems the Andrew have managed to get themselves a spot on the Today programme with their Jackspeak!

BBC News - Today - The joy of 'Jackspeak'

I would agree that they can be somewhat unintelligible at times, but I'm also sure that the other services can be just as obscure...any ideas?

My personal favourite from the Fisheads was "PFK" used towards a larger sort of chap. Apparently it's a Pompy Fat Knacker!
 
#4
More commonly used Naval phrases;

"Can I drink more of your sperm?"

"I love taking your manhood in my man fanny"

"I'm obese"

"Say hello to my little friend" (uttered shortly before hosing down your own CoC)
 

Ravers

LE
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#5
12 clips, full foulies, safeguard, redders, deaders, Harry von turbo threaders, Port & Starboard scran spanners, pass the scrinson, uckers you fuckers, up table, fancy a wet? Sippers on your goffer, sandy downers, shit it's the Joss, the Jimmy's a cock, got any dhobi dust or shall I get some from the chogi? Anyone seen my steaming bats? Who's got daily lies? CUMDAFFER, ROMFT, RDP, LHOM, I'm the Buffer you anchor faced dabber.

etc. etc.
 
#10
RAS'd some nutty
HITS, BITS & TITS
Arigonis (is there an apostrophe in there?)
Salty Sea Dad
Shippers
Skate
Spitkid
Skirmish the Mess
Upper Scupper
Bunting Tosser
Greenie, Pinkie, Stoke's and the TASApes
 

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LE
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#11
Cheesy Hammy Eggy, babies heads, 9'o'clockers, sundowners, head downers, round downers, pass the slide, over the side, two tins, splice the mainbrace, gulpers, prop shaft, back aft, EDBA, ELSA, WAFU, never call it a brew, Jack Blair - the finest men's wear, the little fat man in his white van selling oggies, tabs and porno mags, shippers, dippers, sippers, head like a 909 dome, NAMET, shipwreck, skin, divs, sea dad, ship's cock close up, Action Stations, Harbour Stations, Cleaning Stations, cruising watch, dog watch, pusser's diving watch, loafing, STP.

Jesus.....just think how much bandwidth this shit is taking up in my head. If it wasn't for Jackspeak, I'd probably have cured cancer by now.
 

Ravers

LE
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#12
HOOTROTDCOTUDCASDAH

15-2 That fucker Jack me Tickler
Hands out of the rig of the day clear off the upper deck close all screen doors and hatches.

Hands to harbour stations, hands to harbour stations, rig for leaving harbour will be.......captain counterpain, negative steaming bats.
 

Auld-Yin

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#13
If you are feeling like looking at a totally different language uttered by alien beings, have a look at the list that Seaweed produced after his review of Jackspeak on Rum Ration. It would appear that Master Jolly does not know all of the unintelligible utterings of Jolly Jack Tar.

Mr Seaweed did not feel compelled to add this list of gobbledygook to the review on ARRSE either for reasons of brevity or more like 'cos there is no way we would understand wtf he was talking about! :)
 
#14
Cheesy Hammy Eggy, babies heads, 9'o'clockers, sundowners, head downers, round downers, pass the slide, over the side, two tins, splice the mainbrace, gulpers, prop shaft, back aft, EDBA, ELSA, WAFU, never call it a brew, Jack Blair - the finest men's wear, the little fat man in his white van selling oggies, tabs and porno mags, shippers, dippers, sippers, head like a 909 dome, NAMET, shipwreck, skin, divs, sea dad, ship's cock close up, Action Stations, Harbour Stations, Cleaning Stations, cruising watch, dog watch, pusser's diving watch, loafing, STP.

Jesus.....just think how much bandwidth this shit is taking up in my head. If it wasn't for Jackspeak, I'd probably have cured cancer by now.
Try putting that lot to the tune of 'Only Fools and Horses'!! I can't get the tune out of my bonce!

Anyway, shiney-arsed scribes (Me!!), flunky, dabber, backafty, anyone seen the Buffer's balls? Tidy Mess, crabby submariners, hot bunking, Paddies and 'micks, FRISPs, Janners, George, turtles (when they're on their backs...)
 
#17
RAS'd some nutty
HITS, BITS & TITS
Arigonis (is there an apostrophe in there?)
Salty Sea Dad
Shippers
Skate
Spitkid
Skirmish the Mess
Upper Scupper
Bunting Tosser
Greenie, Pinkie, Stoke's and the TASApes
Not forgetting scablifters, Gollies, Pillow Fluffers, cabbage mechanic, CHOP(s) Wood (chippy), CHOP(S) Meat (Butcher), flagwaggers, Handbag carrying RP's, PotMess, John Wayne Stew, Acne Ricardo and Shit on a Raft
 
#18
Hands out of the rig of the day clear off the upper deck close all screen doors and hatches.

Hands to harbour stations, hands to harbour stations, rig for leaving harbour will be.......captain counterpain, negative steaming bats.
Not forgetting,G ratings,T ratings,and U/A when "up spirits" was the cry of the day,always prefered it at sea,walking between the brass strips whilst drinking your grog on shore establishments was so uncivilised I always thought! :meditate:
 
#19
Not forgetting,G ratings,T ratings,and U/A when "up spirits" was the cry of the day,always prefered it at sea,walking between the brass strips whilst drinking your grog on shore establishments was so uncivilised I always thought! :meditate:
Being a sundodger, soap was uncivilised for you lot. Compared to bubbleheads, pongos smell sweet and clean. :thumright:
 

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LE
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#20
Being a sundodger, soap was uncivilised for you lot. Compared to bubbleheads, pongos smell sweet and clean. :thumright:
Oh come on everyone knows the radiation on boats kills all bacteria which means the sundodging, vitamin d deficient fuckers don't actually require soap.
 

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