The Islamic Republics of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

As numerous poster are constantly telling us, it's only a matter of time before the Muslim takeover..........but is it really all bad?

Think about all the advantages;

Your missus will never have to spend any money on new clothes, all she'll need is a niqab or two.

If she ever gets on your nerves all you have to do is say "I divorce thee" three times and then throw her out.

If you fancy another bird, marry her. The more wives the merrier.

What are the kids up to? They're in their room wearing a bin liner and reciting in arabic.

You'll never have any bother with pissed up chavs, when White Lightening and Thunderbird are banned.

I'm sure my fellow ARRSErs can help find even more advantages, please feel free to add to the list.

Roll on the revolution!

Your missus, daughters and mother can all use the same bus pass.

No need to rush around getting ready, you can just wander down the shops in a jumper, tracksuit and brown slip on shoes!

The downside is the minority would now be the majority so those pesky Christians would be able to het away with murder and whine like fuck about everything.

We can always tell them to fuck off home..........ehh


Book Reviewer
no need to exclude the ladies on the beard front... not if the locals round here are anything to go by. I'm 36 and I cant grow a beard as good as some of the birds I see on the streets in this neighborhood.
I believe you'll be able to claim and get benefit from at least 8 different Benefit Offices, not to mention having about 20 votes in every election. You'll have top advice on how to take advantage of the The Human Rights Act and how to get protection from the Police Service whilst holding a militant demo against just about anything and everything non Muslim.

Arrse will be shut down..that's for certain.
If you've got fit cousins you get first dibs on them.
If the cheeky bitch has the nerve to reject you it's culturally acceptable to disfigure the uppity slag by splashing acid on her face.
When out for an afternoon stroll with the missus she'll be two paces behind you at all times, thus ensuring an appreciative audience for your farts. No chance of any prize winning trumps going to waste!
When out for an afternoon stroll with the missus she'll be two paces behind you at all times, thus ensuring an appreciative audience for your farts. No chance of any prize winning trumps going to waste!
Plenty of those good old halal beans then, extra if the mother in law is behind as well. Nice rolling farts, in time with the beat of 'The galloping Major.'

Holding hands with other blokes sporting Duran Duran style haircuts.

Rubbish TV.

Rubbish Radio.


Never having to brush your teeth or visit the dentist.

Harriott Harman will have been stoned to death with Dianne Abbott.

Cheap cigarettes and even cheaper whiskey.

No more X Factor, Jordan or Peter Andre.

First Parade will be whenever you decide to turn up.

The unions will be a memory.

Smoking will be returned to public places, in fact will be complusory.

No one will know what "emotional intellegence" meant.

Childbirth will be the domain of women once again - no need for blokes to do anything like stand around being abused in the delivery suite, instead they can mince about outside smoking and holding hands with other blokes with Duran Duran haircuts.

No more church "fayres" and no more weirdy-beardy Vicars.

Soho can be re-developed.

You can fire a mag of AK47 at weddings rather than lying through your teeth saying "congratulations, you must be very proud".

You can rip off NGOs, and the UNHCR, for millions in US dollars.

Won't have to worry about a name for male children - there can be only one.

Nicking stuff is culturally accepted as reasonable opportunism, especially from NGOs.
women would need four witnesses to testify they had been raped :)

You can marry six year old girls :):):)

If you don't like your daughters boyfriend, then you can just kill them both.

Disadvantage would be that Britain would be a one party state, with Labour ruling over the country eternally.

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