The Irresistible Lure of Arrse

#1
A few years ago I took a job with Honda, lured in by the promise of foreign adventure and weird Japanese grot (not realising that they had banned boy-porn some years before, the bastards). On the factory floor I met a young Polish skater-boy called Michał, who wore his cap backwards, rarely changed his socks and gave a handjob like a jackhammer, all of which were various degrees of sexy.

It started off well, with us doing a Vincent Vega/Mia Wallace thing on the scene in Brum but ended abruptly when I visited his home town in Poland - a place where men are men, gherkins are like dildos and the banjo theme from Deliverance is constantly going through your mind. Various members of his family told me that if I didn't fcuk off sharpish, I'd be going home with my balls in a sandwich bag.

So now I'm back, the same as most single ex-squaddies: surfing Arrse, drinking and slowly sinking into a pit of despair. On the other hand, I did discover that semen makes newly-applied temporary blonde hair-dye turn blue, so swings and roundabouts, eh?

Where's Smudge67?
 
#2
Welcome back you cuñt

Jarrod is still Jarrod,

Apart from that you missed fück all
 
#3
A few years ago I took a job with Honda, lured in by the promise of foreign adventure and weird Japanese grot (not realising that they had banned boy-porn some years before, the bastards). On the factory floor I met a young Polish skater-boy called Michał, who wore his cap backwards, rarely changed his socks and gave a handjob like a jackhammer, all of which were various degrees of sexy.

It started off well, with us doing a Vincent Vega/Mia Wallace thing on the scene in Brum but ended abruptly when I visited his home town in Poland - a place where men are men, gherkins are like dildos and the banjo theme from Deliverance is constantly going through your mind. Various members of his family told me that if I didn't fcuk off sharpish, I'd be going home with my balls in a sandwich bag.

So now I'm back, the same as most single ex-squaddies: surfing Arrse, drinking and slowly sinking into a pit of despair. On the other hand, I did discover that semen makes newly-applied temporary blonde hair-dye turn blue, so swings and roundabouts, eh?

Where's Smudge67?
So you've been living Jarrod's dream then?
 

No.4 Mk.1

On ROPS
On ROPs
#5
I've resisted - it's the smell of poo and not knowing where to wipe my pecker afterwards that puts me off.

I did discover that semen makes newly-applied temporary blonde hair-dye turn blue
Oh, a new game for the top deck of the bus - adding blue splashes to the back of chic's hair dos
 
#6
You jack bastard. It's been so long we're not sure we missed you.

The ARRSE Revival gathers pace.
Actually, there is no ARRSE revival, maybe it starts here. I reminisce about the pre "padre" times.

Notwithstanding that I got a huge amount of sack action after the Padres and Plinth event.

Which was nice......
 
#7
Notwithstanding that I got a huge amount of sack action after the Padres and Plinth event.

Which was nice......
You shagged a Fatty then?
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#9
A few years ago I took a job with Honda, lured in by the promise of foreign adventure and weird Japanese grot (not realising that they had banned boy-porn some years before, the bastards). On the factory floor I met a young Polish skater-boy called Michał, who wore his cap backwards, rarely changed his socks and gave a handjob like a jackhammer, all of which were various degrees of sexy.

It started off well, with us doing a Vincent Vega/Mia Wallace thing on the scene in Brum but ended abruptly when I visited his home town in Poland - a place where men are men, gherkins are like dildos and the banjo theme from Deliverance is constantly going through your mind. Various members of his family told me that if I didn't fcuk off sharpish, I'd be going home with my balls in a sandwich bag.

So now I'm back, the same as most single ex-squaddies: surfing Arrse, drinking and slowly sinking into a pit of despair. On the other hand, I did discover that semen makes newly-applied temporary blonde hair-dye turn blue, so swings and roundabouts, eh?

Where's Smudge67?
You've had a blue rinse? How very retro.
 
#11
A few years ago I took a job with Honda, lured in by the promise of foreign adventure and weird Japanese grot (not realising that they had banned boy-porn some years before, the bastards). On the factory floor I met a young Polish skater-boy called Michał, who wore his cap backwards, rarely changed his socks and gave a handjob like a jackhammer, all of which were various degrees of sexy.

It started off well, with us doing a Vincent Vega/Mia Wallace thing on the scene in Brum but ended abruptly when I visited his home town in Poland - a place where men are men, gherkins are like dildos and the banjo theme from Deliverance is constantly going through your mind. Various members of his family told me that if I didn't fcuk off sharpish, I'd be going home with my balls in a sandwich bag.

So now I'm back, the same as most single ex-squaddies: surfing Arrse, drinking and slowly sinking into a pit of despair. On the other hand, I did discover that semen makes newly-applied temporary blonde hair-dye turn blue, so swings and roundabouts, eh?

Where's Smudge67?
Awright fella?
 
#13
I used to enjoy it when the poles objected to factory banter where everyone was gay or in denial.

'no gays in poland'

'correct there are no more gays in poland because they all came to the UK to work in factory and live the dream' :)
 
#14
I used to enjoy it when the poles objected to factory banter where everyone was gay or in denial.

'no gays in poland'

'correct there are no more gays in poland because they all came to the UK to work in factory and live the dream' :)
Ah. You are privatemembersbill and I claim my five zlotys.

Didn't take you long.
 

rampant

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#15
A few years ago I took a job with Honda, lured in by the promise of foreign adventure and weird Japanese grot (not realising that they had banned boy-porn some years before, the bastards). On the factory floor I met a young Polish skater-boy called Michał, who wore his cap backwards, rarely changed his socks and gave a handjob like a jackhammer, all of which were various degrees of sexy.

It started off well, with us doing a Vincent Vega/Mia Wallace thing on the scene in Brum but ended abruptly when I visited his home town in Poland - a place where men are men, gherkins are like dildos and the banjo theme from Deliverance is constantly going through your mind. Various members of his family told me that if I didn't fcuk off sharpish, I'd be going home with my balls in a sandwich bag.

So now I'm back, the same as most single ex-squaddies: surfing Arrse, drinking and slowly sinking into a pit of despair. On the other hand, I did discover that semen makes newly-applied temporary blonde hair-dye turn blue, so swings and roundabouts, eh?

Where's Smudge67?
I'd say "Fuck me, I thought you were dead", but then I realised if you tried to fuck me @jarrod248 would be majorly jealous and there would be the cat fight from hell in the car park outside the pub.
 
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