The intelligent Squaddie

#1
Was outside having a fag, when a young sapper came up to me and said, Hey you got a van havent you.
Yes i replied.
Could you give me a lift home with this new Plasma Telly coz it wont fit in me boot.
Ok says I.
We are on the way and i said, thats a big bloody telly, footies on tonight, you better get it connected up.
Cant do that he says, i gotta go down town tomorrow, to get 3 litres of Plasma and fill it first.
Me best mate says they dont fill it when you buy it because of the danger of it exploding.
Oh says I.
3 Days later i see the same young Sapper, hows the telly i says, still not working he says, i went to the telly shop but they were sold out of Plasma, so the salesman told me to ask at the hospital.
When i went there they said they need all their Plasma for the patients.
Tell you what he says its a bugger getting hold of some.
Try Ebay isays and walked away p**sing myself
 
#4
billybongo said:
And my name's Joe Soap the Magic Bubble Dancer...


I booked you for a stag do and you didnt turn up you cnut, I want my £20 back.



Re the thread, bollocks.
 
#6
The fucking chimpanzee who started this thread would do well to write a coherent sentence with some proper grammar in it before taking the piss out of soldiers.

I imagine she's a wannabe cadet instr. who failed the personality test.
 
#11
billybongo said:
The fucking chimpanzee who started this thread would do well to write a coherent sentence with some proper grammar in it before taking the piss out of soldiers.

I imagine she's a wannabe cadet instr. who failed the personality test.
Bit richcoming from you tatty badger 8O
 
#14
biffins-bridge said:
Top feckin windup that, getting the salesman and the hospital involved too, just brilliant :roll:
I thought the pun between plasma (power) and plasma (blood fluid) was rather genius... I saw what he did there ;)
 
M

mogwaimarshall

Guest
#15
the scary thing is, this could well possibly be true, there are plenty of F**k wits out there lol
 
#16
billybongo said:
The fucking chimpanzee who started this thread would do well to write a coherent sentence with some proper grammar in it before taking the piss out of soldiers.

I imagine she's a wannabe cadet instr. who failed the personality test.
How many young Toms do you know with a GCSE in English then? And anyway, I can honestly recall overhearing a dispute in a Berlin bank where a guy from a provincial regiment to the West of Wales asserted that he must still have money in his account because he still had several blank cheques left!
 
#19
Tastytoggle said:
billybongo said:
The fucking chimpanzee who started this thread would do well to write a coherent sentence with some proper grammar in it before taking the piss out of soldiers.

I imagine she's a wannabe cadet instr. who failed the personality test.
How many young Toms do you know with a GCSE in English then? And anyway, I can honestly recall overhearing a dispute in a Berlin bank where a guy from a provincial regiment to the West of Wales asserted that he must still have money in his account because he still had several blank cheques left!
I remember when I was at BATUS Canada, and one time I signed out to go down town.

In the signing out book, two infantry lads had signed before me. The wrote their intended destination down as as Jim.

I chuckled when I saw it, and looked at the guard commander (who was the same capbadge as the people who had signed out) and he said "don't!".

Luckily for them, this was after the rules on homosexuality had been relaxed :)
 
#20
I smell ladyfingers...
 

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