The Instrument of death

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
I spent a couple of weeks in a mountain chalet in Norway with a Scots Guards officer who played the banjo.

I expect there's a group you can join for therapy to help you going forwards ...
 
These young ladies almost make them sound like a musical instrument. Or I might have been distracted, either one.

Neither the Chillies nor yon lassies are in the same planet as the 'Drop KIck Murpheys' doing this, their. own composition as used in the film The Departed.
 
Neither the Chillies nor yon lassies are in the same planet as the 'Drop KIck Murpheys' doing this, their. own composition as used in the film The Departed.
True but the ladies are prettier and make bagpipes sound tolerable which was the main point of posting them. If you can hear any bagpipes in the DM's version then you've got better hearing than me.
 
True but the ladies are prettier and make bagpipes sound tolerable which was the main point of posting them. If you can hear any bagpipes in the DM's version then you've got better hearing than me.
You are correct of course. I went to their concert in the Brixton Academy last year. A *piper is an integral part of their lineup and has been for some time. I was pushing my luck there, mea culpa.

Edit to add : * a Scottish musician as opposed to the Irish model considering they are an Irish / American band.
 
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You are correct of course. I went to their concert in the Brixton Academy last year. A piper is an integral part of their lineup and has been for some time. I was pushing my luck there, mea culpa.
Have you heard the version of Fields of Athenry they composed / edited for a US Army sergeant killed in Iraq? Personally I find it a bit mawkish but for what it gave the family they're top blokes.

 
Revenge is the best way to let your neighbour know how thin the walls are and how noise travels.

Look to see when his lights are out and you'll have a rough idea of when they go to bed and when they get up. If he works - I find that people like to sleep late at the weekend. Read on.

1: Get yourself a google home & some smart plugs.
2: Put Base Speaker next to wall (so it's facing it - with base turned up).
3: Create a music sample of repeating white noise - such as a child crying, nursery rhymes on repeat etc.
4: Stay at a mates house - and set a timer so that the white noise is played loudly and early in the mornings - or activate speaker with the google home/smart plugs - keep turning on and off in 15 minute bursts...

After a few days, weekends of this your neighbour will no doubt want to ask you about the noise. Tell him that it's just as annoying for you when he plays his banjo, and that whenever he does it again - you will retaliate, however you don't believe in an eye for an eye - you believe in 10 eyes for an eye.

I used to have noisy neighbours - but I sorted them out by doing DIY late at night, early in the Morning, white noise etc.....they soon came to the conclusion that it was better to just be quiet neighbours instead of selfish neighbours - and that what goes around comes around.

If you want to be a c*unt - get a webcam so you can see when the plod turn up - you can turn the noise on and off via the net, and make your neighbour look like they are wasting Police time.
 

Unremarkable

War Hero
On a recent broadcast of "I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Clue", host Jack Dee reported that resident pianist Colin Sell


had been unable to continue with his forthcoming banjo recitals because he had left the instrument in a taxi and that a well meaning member of the public refused to hand it in.

OZ

ETA If you can't play an instrument, a recording of authentic didgeridoo music played very loudly works wonders.
This I did - even more badly than the Pipa - when my late neighbour at the current domicile became a Rock and Roll Walt. Less successful, then he died. Unconnected, of course.
 
Revenge is the best way to let your neighbour know how thin the walls are and how noise travels.

Look to see when his lights are out and you'll have a rough idea of when they go to bed and when they get up. If he works - I find that people like to sleep late at the weekend. Read on.

1: Get yourself a google home & some smart plugs.
2: Put Base Speaker next to wall (so it's facing it - with base turned up).
3: Create a music sample of repeating white noise - such as a child crying, nursery rhymes on repeat etc.
4: Stay at a mates house - and set a timer so that the white noise is played loudly and early in the mornings - or activate speaker with the google home/smart plugs - keep turning on and off in 15 minute bursts...

After a few days, weekends of this your neighbour will no doubt want to ask you about the noise. Tell him that it's just as annoying for you when he plays his banjo, and that whenever he does it again - you will retaliate, however you don't believe in an eye for an eye - you believe in 10 eyes for an eye.

I used to have noisy neighbours - but I sorted them out by doing DIY late at night, early in the Morning, white noise etc.....they soon came to the conclusion that it was better to just be quiet neighbours instead of selfish neighbours - and that what goes around comes around.

If you want to be a c*unt - get a webcam so you can see when the plod turn up - you can turn the noise on and off via the net, and make your neighbour look like they are wasting Police time.
Re white noise, White Noise - An Electric Storm in Hell was a band influenced by eccentric genius Delia Derbyshire. It's technically clever but absolutely barking. Technology has moved on a lot but cutting and splicing tape required a lot of experimentation, imagination and obsessive timing. This lot should do the trick though:




Homer Simpson Snoring [1 Hour]


Dogs Howling Sound Effects 1 hour

Best of all perhaps: 60 minutes of dial-up modem sounds, noise, 56k, old internet connection
 
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I'm not bad on the guitar and for a few years have quite fancied adding a banjo and a mandolin to the list. Banjos are great in the right hands, you bunch of tin-eared Palestinians.
But in the wrong hands, it's banned under international law. The problem is, those who have the wrong hands seldom know.

A bit like the choppers who haul out the guitar and inevitably murder an Oasis song.

Or hippy-drippy bongo drummers. Wánkers, the lot of them.
 
I always stop playing my banjo if the neighbours ask.
Handily, I also play the Bodhrán...
 
I spent a couple of weeks in a mountain chalet in Norway with a Scots Guards officer who played the banjo.
Let me guess, you were there for a month and after 2 weeks you killed him and buried the banjo with him?
 
Around 2003, some knobber on my estate insisted on playing one of them Ibiza Club Hits albums loud enough for us all to hear. I responded with this:


None of your wishy-washy, MTV-friendly pop-punk. Broken Bones are the real deal. Full-on hardcore brickwall Punk. I never actually found out which flat the fanny music was coming from, but they soon turned it down, so they could hear some real music. It's a shame they never made themselves known to me, cos they could have come with me and the lads to see Broken Bones when they later gigged at Hartlepool.
 

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