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The Instrument of death

The tradition of a field banjo lives on:

You've left off the gear oil. The NSN is 9150-01-035-5393 if you've run out.


Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
I once had the choice to learn the accordion or study for my Finals. I ended up with a decent degree and very little in the way of musical proficiency - which was odd because I chose to learn the instrument.

I still get nostalgic when I hear 'Ladies of Spain' played very badly.

It's still not too late to become a hipster!



Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
I've got a new neighbour , he's got a banjo, apparently half past ten at night is the ideal time to practice, should I kill him now or wait till I snap ( next week ) ?

You don’t live in the suburbs of Liverpool do you by any chance?

Reason I ask is a very close mate of mine plays the banjo (Badly) has a habit of getting shiters and playing in his garden at night, and has recently moved house.



When I lived in Belgium I had a 90 year old neighbour that I detested. My cat Polly had a had a habit of sitting outside his pet pigeon cages and watching them.... being a cat an’ all. He complained about it, I said it was a cat, what did he expect, and anyway the pigeons were safe in their cages. Nevertheless, I said I would have a word with Polly. A week later he poisoned Polly.

I hated that old bastard. I REALLY hated him. To the extent that I regularly at 9pm, knowing he went to bed at about 8, put my stereo speakers flat against the dividing wall, put Black Sabbath’s Paranoid (the album) on the deck, put it up to full volume...... and went for a walk for an hour.

He died shortly afterwards.

I really hope I had something to do with it.
I've got a new neighbour , he's got a banjo, apparently half past ten at night is the ideal time to practice, should I kill him now or wait till I snap ( next week ) ?

Just play Paul McCartneys "Frog Chorus" 24 hrs a day until he promises to stop, just remember to wear ear defenders for your own sanity


War Hero
I had a neighbour in Cardiff who enjoyed his electric guitar playing (I wish I had) at 'unsociable hundred hours'. What to do? Browsing Waterstones Oriental section for light reading, my eyes lit upon a book of Tang poetry - in Hanzi (characters), Pinyin (Mandarin romanisation) and English. I still only read (ancient) Chinese painfully slowly, dictionary in hand, so this was a must have.
That evening, I reached for my Pipa and sang, loudly and heartily. Not to mention badly.
From next door: "What the f**k is that?".
No more Hendrix Walting.
I think going nuclear early is the best option in this situation.

Ice cream van Music

Short of a 6 year old girl with a recorder, that is pure evil. Well done. We have a winner!
My uncle used to play his violin very loudly, he'd been in North Africa in WW2 and was very, very deaf. He also used to drive around in his Morris Minor in 2nd gear, he couldn't hear the engine screaming.

Maybe the banjo plucker iis hearing impaired.

He'll have impaired breathing soon, the thoughtless c*nt.

2230 Hrs is not a good time to play any instrument unless in a band - in a club.
Did that ever get aired? I've not seen that before.

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