The ideal woman.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bushmills, Feb 23, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Back to the relationships drawing board again.

    I am wondering if the Army deprived us of an ability to form stable relationships with the opposite gender. It seems rather difficult to find posh birds who can keep up with the boozy and hard living lifestyle that many of us pursue.The current poor disillusioned soul had me off the smokes (three months) and the grog for a week. She also wanted me to adopt a grown up's diet and start going to grown up's activities like committees and community service. She also talked about "life balance" and "making friends and influencing people". I did draw the line when she asked me to change my name to "Nigel" by deedpoll, take elecution lessons and memorise the arts section of the Sydney Morning Herald before going to civilised "dinner parties" with her mates.

    My view is that you could be dead tomorrow so live everyday as if it were your last. However, this may be a rationalisation of an inherent lack of maturity. Has anybody else encountered this and how did you find compromise? In short, they seem to like s***ging us but find it very hard to live with us.

    Anybody got any tips/hints or strategies for handling the reasonable expectations of middle aged/class women when we seem to want to continue to enjoy the life that we had when we were twenty one? My tactic thus far has been to ham up "the officer and gentleman" bit in the courtship stage and they seem to relish the prospect of "taming the wild boy" but it seems to set the stage for a situation that culminates in a battle for control that does not do anyone any good.

    I await abuse with anticipation :=) and have spoonfuls of cemment on standby.
  2. AAGF


    Four "F"s mate - you know it makes sense ...
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Where the fuck did you find her? Surely the alarm bells started to go after she wanted you to stop smoking and give up kebabs and potato shapes?
  4. Stay single stay happy.
    The ideal woman...
    is cold, stiff and under a patio :)
    • Like Like x 2
  5. Lower your standards.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Stay single

    lonely happy and poor beats lonely unhappy and poor any day of the week
    • Like Like x 1

  7. I don't think mine can get any lower @.@
  8. Na, you still tend to go for the sentient ones.
  9. Find them.
    Fuck them
    Forget them.

    No idea what the forth one is. Is it fondle?
  10. Care to share about your stable relationships with the SAME gender then?
  11. That is one control freak you had there, lucky escape, make better choices next time.....
  12. What's a "wah"? :=)
  13. You leave my horse out of this :=)
  14. The ideal woman?

    No such fecking thing, playing the field until the right one who can tolerate you the most is the way to go.

    In all walks of life 'a walking relationship disaster' is the same irrespective of being in the Services or in Civvy job.

    Women are as much players if allowed to get away with it as men are and their fecking liars if they otherwise.