The Hypogeum

#1
Hey everyone,

The Hypogeum is a novel wot I wrote, the blurb is below:

Alma Baines is an ordinary woman whose life is irrevocably turned upside down when she loses everything she holds most dear. The forces of darkness want her life to end for reasons she does not truly understand, and only the intervention by a small group of heroes can save her. The forces of darkness are strong and powerful, led by the demon Baphomet,who is willing to go to any lengths to achieve his aim, which is nothing less than the total subjugation of the Earth and every living thing on it. The only ones who can stand against him are the Warrior, the Magician, the Shield, the Joker and the Mother, all of whom are joined by a special connection to the Forest that seems to know more than it is willing to admit. Who would have dreamed that the ultimate battle to save the Earth would take place in Rural Wiltshire?
Currently available at www.lulu.com

You can purchase either as a download or as an old fashioned honest-to-goodness printed book.

Why not help an aspiring author in green beat the credit crunch and buy a copy. Not only will you be helping to feed my kids, but you might even enjoy reading it.

Also available by me from Renaissance E-Books is my collection of short erotic stories called Power Play & Other Loverotica.

Go on... Check them out.


Cheers.
 
#2
I can see that you have all been staying away in your droves, so I added this post to bring it back to the top of the pile.

I have also started a blog so you have another avenue to check my work out. Read it here.

Cheers.
 
#3
I have decided to run a competition as part of the promotion for my novel.

Simply go to The Hypogeum Competition for instructions on how to enter and be in with a chance to win a £50.00 cash prize.

Thanks.
 
#4
Wiltshire? Well it makes a change from Oxford...In that group of heroes shouldn't there be the Alcoholically challenged Windmiller - with map of Africa on his jeans, PARA Reg tee-shirt and once-sand-coloured dessies? That would give Baphomet something to contemplate if he is serious about world domination...moreover the group of heroes should be joined by a special connection to "The Plain" rather than the forest.
 
#5
Also available by me from Renaissance E-Books is my collection of short erotic stories called Power Play & Other Loverotica.
Ah, that's the tinker!

Not interested in the psuedo, third-dimension clap-trap dear, give us the barnyard pornography.
 
#6
I'd love to read your book, unfortunately, I spend all my spare time playing Dungeons & Dragons, and watching Star Trek.

Nanoo nanoo

Sandy
 
#7
I know that, I've also got the rare directors cut, boxed set of Blake Seven..............with Elvish subtitles!
Has anyone seen my rubber sword and Tarot cards?
 

Auld-Yin

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#8
**** said:
Alma Baines is an ordinary woman whose life is irrevocably turned upside down when she loses everything she holds most dear. The forces of darkness want her life to end for reasons she does not truly understand, and only the intervention by a small group of heroes can save her. The forces of darkness are strong and powerful, led by the demon Baphomet,who is willing to go to any lengths to achieve his aim, which is nothing less than the total subjugation of the Earth and every living thing on it. The only ones who can stand against him are the Warrior, the Magician, the Shield, the Joker and the Mother, all of whom are joined by a special connection to the Forest that seems to know more than it is willing to admit. Who would have dreamed that the ultimate battle to save the Earth would take place in Rural Wiltshire?
Why would Arrsers want to but a book that sounds like MDN's chat-up style? All we have to do is read some of the posts in the NAAFI forum. :twisted:
 
#9
ShamelessBookPlugger said:
Hey everyone,

The Hypogeum is a novel wot I wrote, the blurb is below:

Alma Baines is an ordinary woman whose life is irrevocably turned upside down when she loses everything she holds most dear. The forces of darkness want her life to end for reasons she does not truly understand, and only the intervention by a small group of heroes can save her. The forces of darkness are strong and powerful, led by the demon Baphomet,who is willing to go to any lengths to achieve his aim, which is nothing less than the total subjugation of the Earth and every living thing on it. The only ones who can stand against him are the Warrior, the Magician, the Shield, the Joker and the Mother, all of whom are joined by a special connection to the Forest that seems to know more than it is willing to admit. Who would have dreamed that the ultimate battle to save the Earth would take place in Rural Wiltshire?
Afternoon twatt. I'd be interested in buying your book, but first, if I may, a question. Does Alma, at any time, get eaten out 'like a peach' or have a multitude of men, human or not, enter her many orifices?
 
#10
FiveAlpha said:
Afternoon twatt. I'd be interested in buying your book, but first, if I may, a question. Does Alma, at any time, get eaten out 'like a peach' or have a multitude of men, human or not, enter her many orifices?
Erm... No.

On the other hand if the naughty stuff is more your thang then check out Power Play, easy to print it out and hold in one hand, if the other is busy ;-)
 
#11
Mr_Deputy said:
oh yeah write a book with name no-one understands nor can barely say why don't you? Smug git.
Let's see... I spend days and days researching stuff, true meanings of names, historical events going back 8,000 years, and all the associated bits and bobs relating to self publication.

I then spend 3 months to write my novel in my spare time, and then have it published at my own expense.

Days and days spent trawling the internet for ways to promote my book, including a competition with a cash prize funded entirely by me.

All of that and the best you can come up with is 'smug git'?

Please! If you are going to be insulting, you could at least put some effort into it. Don't get me wrong, I expected a ragging on Arrse. Anyone who posts anything at all on here should expect no less, even if they are just trying to earn an extra crust to feed their starving snappers in these dark credit crunch days. Please think of the children, won't somebody PLEASE think of the children!

But at least come up with something more entertaining than 'smug git'.

2/10 - Must try harder.

By the way, Hypogeum (hippo-gee-um) It's not rocket science.
 
#12
Cuddles said:
moreover the group of heroes should be joined by a special connection to "The Plain" rather than the forest.
There's more to Wiltshire than the Plain. Check your history, mate.
 
#13
**** said:
Mr_Deputy said:
oh yeah write a book with name no-one understands nor can barely say why don't you? Smug git.
Let's see... I spend days and days researching stuff, true meanings of names, historical events going back 8,000 years, and all the associated bits and bobs relating to self publication.

I then spend 3 months to write my novel in my spare time, and then have it published at my own expense.

Days and days spent trawling the internet for ways to promote my book, including a competition with a cash prize funded entirely by me.

All of that and the best you can come up with is 'smug git'?

Please! If you are going to be insulting, you could at least put some effort into it. Don't get me wrong, I expected a ragging on Arrse. Anyone who posts anything at all on here should expect no less, even if they are just trying to earn an extra crust to feed their starving snappers in these dark credit crunch days. Please think of the children, won't somebody PLEASE think of the children!
But at least come up with something more entertaining than 'smug git'.

2/10 - Must try harder.

By the way, Hypogeum (hippo-gee-um) It's not rocket science.
You will be called as a witness, in my defence, when they finally get round to catching me for Maddys "disappearance" :)
 
#14
sandmanfez said:
I know that, I've also got the rare directors cut, boxed set of Blake Seven..............with Elvish subtitles!
Has anyone seen my rubber sword and Tarot cards?
FFS! It's ELVIS subtitles. Thick cunt.
 
#15
**** said:
By the way, Hypogeum (hippo-gee-um) It's not rocket science.
I love pedantry me. If you wanna pronounce Hypogeum thus (hippo-gee-umm) surely you're confusing the source of the word. 'Hypo' is derived from the Greek meaning 'under' as in 'hypocaust' (that's h-ai-po- i.e. a strong 'y'). Example is as in Roman (as in Ro-man) underfloor heating system - hypocaust. 'Hippo' is derived from the Greek word for 'horse' and is indeed pronounced as it sounds.

Right, that's enough pedantry - which has nothing to do with small children by the way.
 
#16
Storeman Norman said:
I love pedantry me. If you wanna pronounce Hypogeum thus (hippo-gee-umm) surely you're confusing the source of the word. 'Hypo' is derived from the Greek meaning 'under' as in 'hypocaust' (that's h-ai-po- i.e. a strong 'y'). Example is as in Roman (as in Ro-man) underfloor heating system - hypocaust. 'Hippo' is derived from the Greek word for 'horse' and is indeed pronounced as it sounds.

Right, that's enough pedantry - which has nothing to do with small children by the way.
You are indeed correct, Hypogeum is pronounced hahy-puh-jee-uhm. However, it may also be legitimately pronounced hip-puh-jee-uhm as per the Oxford English.

I suspect that the classicists would prefer hahy-puh-jee-uhm, however modern usage and allowance for differences in dialect mean that hip-puh-jee-uhm is just as valid.

Good try though. Thanks for taking an interest.
 
#17
Mr_Deputy said:
Alright then. Hippledypieggedly it is. It sounds great. I wish you luck with it and that the children have food to eat.

Have you got anything on rocket science? That sounds good.
That's better! Irony is always welcome :-D

Well done, I knew you had it in you... At least that's what it says on the toilet wall.
 
#18
**** said:
Hey everyone,

The Hypogeum is a novel wot I wrote, the blurb is below:

Alma Baines is an ordinary woman whose life is irrevocably turned upside down when she loses everything she holds most dear. The forces of darkness want her life to end for reasons she does not truly understand, and only the intervention by a small group of heroes can save her. The forces of darkness are strong and powerful, led by the demon Baphomet,who is willing to go to any lengths to achieve his aim, which is nothing less than the total subjugation of the Earth and every living thing on it. The only ones who can stand against him are the Warrior, the Magician, the Shield, the Joker and the Mother, all of whom are joined by a special connection to the Forest that seems to know more than it is willing to admit. Who would have dreamed that the ultimate battle to save the Earth would take place in Rural Wiltshire?
Currently available at www.lulu.com

You can purchase either as a download or as an old fashioned honest-to-goodness printed book.

Why not help an aspiring author in green beat the credit crunch and buy a copy. Not only will you be helping to feed my kids, but you might even enjoy reading it.

Also available by me from Renaissance E-Books is my collection of short erotic stories called Power Play & Other Loverotica.

Go on... Check them out.


Cheers.
Why not combine the two stories for a bit more ARRSE interest and have a big battle sh8gfest in rural Wiltshire (Farm Animals optional) to save the earth and the bint.................

HH
 
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