Just arrived back from a rather pleasant holiday in one of the Portugese dependencies. Charming locals, decent food and beer, and a fair smattering of culture and things to do. What intrigued me, however, particularly each morning at breakfast, was the variety of apparel my fellow guests appeared in. The most ridiculous shorts, t-shirts, shirts, skirts, leggings, vests, half-trousers etc, all in the most garish of colours, that one could imagine. And all covering up an absolutely tremendous variety of grotesque bodily shapes, complexions, and deformities. I, of course, clad in cords, country shirt, and brogues, set off by a cheeky little cravat and trendy shades, was totally above reproach. What I would dearly like to know, however, is just where is the shop that sells these holiday clothes described above?