the hare and the tortoise

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by mortars2cg, Mar 8, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. If you were in a real life survival situtation ,who would you want by your side'?

    Would it be Ray' the Tortoise' Mears? You know he would get you back home safe and sound .He would teach you the art of bushcraft in a big brother type of way and ,by the looks of him,I don't think he likes to go hungry so I think food would be top priority.

    Or would it be Bear ' the Hare ' Grylls?,who would have you jumping of the side of mountains on to 3 foot saplings.And if you reach a safe place you would be shitting ringworms for the next year from the raw yak's intestines you ate on the way.
  2. Ray, every day.
    I'd quite like to cuddle him at night too. Better.
  3. Done before in the Ray Mears v Bear Grylls thread.

    I'd rather have a copy of the November 1998 edition of Razzle, than either of those 2.
  4. I'd have Bacon Grills over Bear Grylls too!
  5. I remember it well. Tracey from Scunthorpe has a good spread in "show us yours".
  6. Ray "Incredibly interesting actually" Mears every time. The only thing is, he is a grredy sod and you would need to sleep with one eye open at night...
  7. Actually, I'd go for The Bush Tucker Man. Hard as a woodpecker's lips with a finely-honed sense of sarcasm and Australian to boot, which means that if the night gets a bit chilly then you can just steer the conversation round to England or cricket and his incandescent rage will heat you from yards away.
  8. Bouillabaisse

    Bouillabaisse LE Book Reviewer

    I reckon Ray would help you to survive whereas "Bear" would see you as a hinderance to his survival and either eat you or swan off and leave you to fend for yourself
  9. I think Russell Coight of All Aussie Adventures would be better!
  10. Man does not live by birch bark canoe alone.
  11. Mearsy doesn't exactly survive on chowing down on a tree, the man loves his grub and knows what to do with it - at home or in the wilds. Rather good at butchery etc.

    Only reason Grilled Bear shows more of the munch side is because devouring the odd mouldy hamster or llama he comes across - strategically placed by his team - is good for his showmanship ratings.
  12. Mears does seem to love his grub (the porky cnut) and he knows how to light a fire. Maybe he could try rubbing two birch bark canoes together?

    Though I'd opt for Gryllls as no matter where you are, at least you'll be safe in the knowledge you'll be back in a hotel by nightfall each evening. :)
  13. He'd be better off rubbing 2 Bear Grylls together :)