The Haka

My oppos funeral in Guz was emotional enough (top bloke IED'd out of existence) but when his rugby club spontaneously gathered at the wake and started belting out songs there wasn't a single, hard as woodpecker lips bootneck not choking on snot and tears.

I'm wondering if Haka's at funerals unleash a lot of "man energy" which is good for the grieving process. A nice aggressive, escape valve that non NZers don't have access to in "civilised arrangements"

Five minutes of Elgar then the curtains close probably doesn't really compare
Absolutely right. Grief is a physical pain and blokes want to yell and smash stuff . It is like a pressure release valve.
The Haka,so overdone they even let girls do it.In this case - The Black Ferns.(wot no sjw's putting a stop to this sort of thing?)
I believe the female version is somewhat toned down, either a cultural thing or slapping yourself in the tits vigorously hurts rather. Although I'm lead to believe that's quite popular in some circles.
Having seen the Haka live at test matches on a few occasions, one agrees.
BUT to see the All Blacks in full voice... a bit hairs-on-the-back-of-the-neck every time.
And sure beats hell out of some twunt with a guitar singing waltzing matailda, or some X-factor/pop idol runner-up belting out the anthems.
Beg to differ. I thought the Haka was a bit mincey until the day I faced one. Hmmmm
I always thought that England should wind up the All Blacks by doing a bit of Morris Dancing on the pitch before the match. Show them some real culture.
I think the best response by far was that shown by Wales in the Principality Stadium, where they ignored it totally either by turning their backs or just remaining in a group, talking amongst themselves under their posts; I can't remember exactly which it was. The end result was to leave the Kiwis doing their thing to no one in particular up by the half way line . . . which was a trifle awkward!!
Grumps, when I said 'overcooked', I meant 'used far far too much'.
I'm surprised they haven't used a version to sell Kiwi Fruit.
At rugby matches, and at military funerals and commemorations, tis a thing of beauty and awe. Most other places... overcooked
I can personally attest to Haka's getting to the point they are over cooked. Whilst in East Timor our Bn HQ who would often host dignitaries visiting the FOB (supposed VIP's of little actual standing i.e. UN prats) and have a Powhiri (Maori welcome incl a Haka) stood too for them.
As most the FOB were attached/support elements it generally fell on any guys from the Bn Recce and Sigs Pl's not out on task and the few R.P's not dodging work to be "Rent a Hori's". It didnt matter what colour you were or where you were from, so long as you knew the Bn Haka.
It was that bad that at one stage we had literally just been dropped by a helo after a stint in the bush and were walking back to our lines from the LZ, when we were "Re-tasked" to head to the HQ drop kit to do a Powhiri for some clown. After 5-7 days patrolling in some shitty part of the jungle that was on the top of our "want to do" list. To get our revenge, we went shirtless, faces unshaven still coated in cam and got right up in the VIP's "personal space" so he too could experience the "fragrance" that bodies develop. Strangely enough after that episode, our service weren't often requested.

On the flip side, when the Bn farewell's its fallen with haka, its a pretty emotional event and a very somber moment like the on the 2/1 lads did that's posted a page or 2 back.


Book Reviewer
Now I like New Zealand. The country is beautiful, the people are nice, their rugby team are excellent and their Sauvignon Blanc is excellent. But one thing about New Zealand really perplexes me and in some cases winds me up.

The Haka.

I can understand the tradition of doing it before rugby games and in genuine Maori settings. But it seems that this Maori war dance filters into every element of Kiwi life now. Recently on social media I saw that somewhere in France the NZDF Maori Cultural Group were doing a Haka for some WW1 anniversary. They do it at weddings. Funerals. Graduations. ANZAC day. You name an occasion and someone is doing a Haka for it.

Is it a bit cringy seeing a group of often predominantly white Europeans (after all the Maoris barely account for 15% of the population) doing an ethnic war dance?
I would argue that the undeserving borrowing from a warrior culture is a common feature of western society ;-):


This is the one.

That’s brilliant, thanks for posting it.

I’m surprised they didn’t wake the poor bastard up.

And did you see the size of the old boy with the overcoat and walking stick? I don’t know if the Kiwis have any armoured units, half a dozen like him and they could scrap the lot.
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