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A Cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognized an elderly man
standing at the bar who, in his day, had the reputation of being the
fastest gun in the West. The young cowboy took a place next to the
old-timer, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great

'Do you think you could give me some tips?' he asked.

The old man looked him up and down and said, 'Well, for one thing, you're
wearing your gun too high, tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'Sure will,'replied the old-timer.

The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot
the bow tie off the piano player. 'That's terrific!' said the hot shot.
'Got any more tips for me?'

'Yep,' said the old man. 'Cut a notch out of your holster where the
hammer hits it, that'll give you a smoother draw'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the younger man.

'You bet it will,' said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in
a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player. 'Wow!' exclaimed
the cowboy 'I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?'

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. 'See that
axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it.' The young man went over
to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun. 'No,'
said the old-timer, 'I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'No,' said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the
piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your arrse, and it won't hurt as much.

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