Ex skidett. Who was lovely and hopefully still is arrived in our college local. Got introduced and a chum who noticed that I hadn't leaped to the bar on her behalf asked her what she having. So in she launched with a description of a Blue Lagoon, he let her finish, asked a couple of pertinent questions, walked off to the bar and returned with a pint of harp.
She said it wasn't as good as the Guinness in Belfast. She was right. But it was wet and beer.
Posh girls are an utter pain and are usually phenomenally boring to boot. I've yet to meet one below the age of 30 who had anything to talk about other than herself and her shallow, meaningless existence.
If fat birds are like mopeds, posh birds are like Lambourghinis - you always dream of riding one but once you have you realise they're too high-maintenance and not really practical for everyday life.
My first proper girlfriend was a posh bird, and the above is all completely true. They are extraordinarily dull and are almost always decorative. They rarely have any reall skills or abilities other than holding the guns for the chaps and maybe reloading if they can be trusted. I often used to see them being driven around the student areas when at uni, they will spend their lives in the passenger seat of someone else's more successful life having pushed out the babies.
That said, hearing them talk dirty gives me a proper stonk on. My favourite was being asked to bugger her, and being encouraged as "I'll lick you clean afterwards".
Used to shag a posh bird who lived next to Phil Collins and wouldn't shut up about it. Self absorbed and boring, also a ginger and feelthy to boot. Unfortunately for her (lucky for me), she was mumsy's little angel and totally under the control of the useless old bag rather than think for herself. To this effect, one was given one's marching orders as one didn't quite fit with the horsey set. No doubt the current woopert victim does fit in, and having to put up with their shit, has decided blowing goats is a better option.
Here's The original article, if anyone is interested!
Oxford is a melting pot of tastes, quirks and interests. A talent we all develop is to slice and dice people into certain categories in order to make sense of them, in order to pitch ourselves appropriately. Class, depressingly, remains the chief distinction. When it comes to finding a mate however, class differences throw up hilarious befuddlements for both sides. In the interests of averting mutual bafflement Cherwell brings you the Guide to Dating Posh Girls. Meeting her parents Contrary to expectation, her parents will be smashing. They’ll wine and dine you, take you to the theatre and maybe even abroad. Go on admit it, swallow your pride, her parents are lovely people. Sure, they’re viciously judging you but hold back the resentment - you’re doing exactly the same to them. Touché. Meeting her friends Posh Girls share everything with one another. This makes meeting her friends difficult. Whilst the Spice Girls’ famous adage ‘if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends’ will bear you in great stead, it is devilishly difficult. Posh Girls, ‘practically sisters’ since their years together in the boarding house, tell each other everything. Consequently they know more about your sex life than you do (and yes, this includes all the embarrassing cock-ups and habits she promised not to tell anyone). Relations between you and them will therefore embody all the warmth and intimacy of a court room. Politics Officially, it is very bad form to bring up politics. You’ll rarely hear the young lady mention something newsworthy and she will profess ignorance when you reference a current political controversy. Don’t be fooled however. Posh Girls can feign an apolitical apathy because their allegiances are a given, duh! About 3 months in, the inner Tory will flash. Her godfather, it casually emerges, is a Cabinet minister. Or she’s leaving town for the evening to ‘have supper in the Lords’. From this point on, your ears become antennae, acutely aware to her every utterance, lacing it with meaning and innuendo. Even if your sensibilities are centre-ground, be prepared to discover a socialist conscience. A passing mention of her grandfather, who leads to county hunt, will inexplicably lead to you embracing the Animal Rights lobby, disavowing meat and sponsoring a stray fox called Arthur. Beware, dating a Posh Girl has the same political effect as going to Port and Policy: it turns you into a raging lefty. Travel She will be exceedingly well travelled, having had the obligatory gap year in Thailand. In between the annual pilgrimages to Cloisters at Christmas and Cannes in summer, she will be frequenting the European capitals, visiting prep school pen pals and Pablo, her Barcelona tennis-camp coach. Within her own country she remains firmly settled in the South. The furthest north she will have been is LMH and even that she found ‘a bit grim’. If she does brave it and travels north to see you, be sensitive. As she disembarks the train, refrain from mocking her attire (wellingtons and a ski jacket – ‘but I thought it’d be freezing’ and instead congratulate her on having made it thus far. When driving her back to your place, it’s a good idea to make a detour past the local Waitrose. This will settle her down considerably. Sex She’ll have had a lot of it, way more than you. Do not believe any assertions to the contrary, she is massaging your fragile ego. Posh Girls lose their virginity at 15, often to the same floppy-haired bloke (remember, they share everything). She duly worked her way through the Eton rugby team before re-eloping with the same floppy-haired wanker on her gap year in Phuket. Mercilessly, most of her past conquests will be at Oxford and you won’t be able to bust a move in Park End without bumping into one of them. Aesthetically he is a beautiful man: taller, broader, and handsomer than you will ever be. But Posh Girls can see past that right? (Ha!) Getting dumped This will happen. Prepare for the inevitable eventuality. Suspicions, aroused by her indefatigable flirting, that she is cheating on you are wholly accurate. Take it on the chin. This was always her plan. You weren’t dumped, just duped.