The Guardian on Sat 05 Jan 08 - Army Fitness Programme

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by Litotes, Jan 3, 2008.

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  1. The TV ads are promising that this Saturday's Guardian will deliver the "Official British Army Fitness Training Programme".

    I wasn't aware that we had one...

    What do Arrsers think it includes...?

    Or, what should it include?

  2. Does anyone with any Army connection even read the feckin Guardian?
  3. Drinking games :wink:
  4. Its difficult to say what it actually includes, as they appear to be changing every 5 mins. But in order to keep up with todays society - lets have a go.

    1. Run a mile and a half in 2 hrs, stopping off at the medical centre for oxygen therapy on the way.
    2. Do 60 press ups over a period of 3 weeks (but only if you feel like it)!
    3. Do some situps using one of those big blow up ball thingies - choosing the colour you like the best!
    4. Some light leg lifts if you can't manage any of the above.

    Think that about covers it! :wink: Off the sarcasm wagon now - let's be 'aving ewe! :D

    What do our friends in PT corps think? :D
  5. First training method is to teach you how to drink ten pints of beer, washed down with a couple of Jack Daniels or Redbull and vodkas followed by a kebab. Theyve then got to ensure they dont sleep until after 2am and be able to get up and do a 6 miler at 8am.

    Once you have mastered that ill teach you lesson two.
  6. Opps, you have inadvertantly revealed Series 2 of the Trilogy....The Official RAF Fitness Training Prrogramme. :D

  7. I wondered why it seemed familiar, as I had to work with the crabs a few years ago, and it must have settled into my subconscious! :D

    Edited for crap spelling!
  8. Beer, BEER? You drink Guiness, it provides both alchol and food, then you smoke like a trooper and eat lard. Once you are very very good at this you can think about going for THEM.
  9. It'll almost certainly contain some useless advice on running and that circuit training program thats in the "git fit for the army" book.

    Just a bit of a recruitment thing I would imagine. Surprised Mens Health or some such thing hasnt allready printed the "official squadie training plan" or something.. they printed everyone elses from the guys from 300, to rocky, to james bond...

  10. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Yes. Although my connection is tenuous being both a Reservist and a filthy Mover :D

    Read the Telegraph and the Scotsman for balance though.
  11. I duno bout us having an official fitness programme, but apparently the US Seals and USMC do, all in a nice little book for £5.53 on, lol

  12. You forgot horizontal jogging whilst inebriated :D
  13. It might be Get Fit for Officers.

    1. Jumping to conclusions
    2. Running round in circles. (programme for Subalterns)
    3. Running off at the mouth to the press (Advanced level, Brigadier and above only)
    4.Stretching the limits, of belief.
    5. Unarmed combat, defeat the knifewielders aiming for the back.
    6. Shoulder strengthening, to carry the increased workload.
    7. Shoulder flexibility, to allow blame/tasks/ general cr@p to slip off.

    if anyone would like to contribute some more to the Sandhurst Curriculum, BMG
  14. I thinking w@nking over vast amounts of porn on the sports afternoon is the training sesh the british army relies on mainly.

    I bought the linda lusardi fitness video and now I have a left arm like albert steptoe but my right arm is like schwartzenger's!!!
  15. Just read one of the reviews of the book, it contains this little gem:

    Right then, after i've worked off the excesses of Christmas i might just give it a bash. I wonder if fat loggies can try?