The greatest Wah


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I have searched Arrse for a similar thread and as yet have not found one. Mods please re-locate as required etc.

So what it is the greatest Wah/wind up you have ever experienced/heard of? Whether you are on the receiving end or you are in fact the wah initiator.

One of my personal favourites takes place on board a Royal Navy Type 42 Destroyer:

Just before a surface to air missile shoot a list asking for volunteers for a very special duty was doing the rounds.

As many of you are probably aware, a rocket propelled surface to air missile such as a Seadart can be a major hazard to marine plantlife, especially if the rocket fuel has not combusted at the correct temperature.
To that end it is important to assemble a Temperature Indication Team (TIT) in order to record the exact temperature of the flames coming out of the rocket motor on take off. Obviously there are some hazards with this task so all members of the TIT must be dressed correctly in full firefighting rig. Due to the blast of the rocket motor it is also mandatory to wear a safety harness to ensure one doesn't blow over the side.

Once the team is assembled and briefed on their important task, they must then stand behind the missile launcher with a thermometer (to be signed out from sickbay prior to the launch). it is reccomended that the thermometer be attached to a broom handle or similar, however this is at the discretion of the TIT leader. A few dry runs, under the watchful eyes of the rest of the ship's company, should be carried out so that the whole team is clear on their individual duties. Only once the team is fully conversant with the whole procedure and they are stood to behind the missile launcher can the firing take place.

I once saw a young wren in tears because she hadn't been selected for the TIT, it was ok though because we promised she could be a line buoy lookout when we crossed the equator. :wink:
Maybe not the biggest, but certainly enduring is the "bus full of QARANCS / WRACS" booked for every squadron do I ever attended. Like Diana Ross, I'm still waiting.
1. The 1998 SDR promised us lots of things.
2. Another naval one, from the 1960s to the early 90s the RN had, on many ships, a surface to air missile called Sea Cat. It was apparently quite common to for newbies to be asked to take a saucer of milk to the Sea Cat.
Requesting volunteers for splash target cox'n always makes me giggle. :D
List goes up on noticeboard asking for volunteers for a jolly in the back of a F-4 Phantom, with the boss of the sqn. Only problem was boss wasnt a pilot. Still a lot of people wanted to go.
Another Naval one which I saw in the 70's was the Malta Dog Shoot.

A dit would go out about the amount of stray dogs running wild on Malta and then a list would go up asking for volunteers to make up a shooting party to cull these stray mutts.

The volunteers would have to undergo much specialist training in the days before the ship arrived in Malta, involving medicals, special kit issues, firearms training, dog recognition classes, Maltese language classes etc.

The whole Ships Company would be in on this with the exception of the "victims" and a great time would be had by all setting this up.

crabnomore said:
List goes up on noticeboard asking for volunteers for a jolly in the back of a F-4 Phantom, with the boss of the sqn. Only problem was boss wasnt a pilot. Still a lot of people wanted to go.
We had something similar for Lightnings, a free jolly in the back seat.
Problem is that it wasn't a tandem configuration in the T5.
Still caught loads out though. :D
Two examples/classics I been a part of, not the wah'ee either. The first one was telling course member's on the HVY WPNS cse that when we fire the 106mm RCL and we want to hide the signature we have to use a BBDA Bag. Obviously they ask what this is so we tell them it's to catch the back blast so we can let it out at a safer place so as to not give our position away. Works with the 84mm Gutsache too. Always funny to have the Q man ring you up and tell you how you've made his day. The second one is when we conduct an exercise at one of our training areas we inform lids that they are to bring along civvies so they have something to wear at the local dance. On our maps of Shoalwater Bay there are numerous old homesteads that are obviously un-inhabited but the lids don't know this so they get dressed and we take them out to said 'dance'. When the penny drops and they realise there is no dance and they've just been 'got' they are made to tab back to the position. This has been going on for decades and is sure to continue. Much merriment is had.
Sorry guys for being a bit bone, but could anyone explain what a 'Wah' is?
In 32AER there used to be a crank spanner for the Cents. jaws about 6" wide, head about a foot across, handle about 3 foot long, and the whole thing about 4" wide, and weighed a ton. This item was kept in the guardroom which was about a km away from the tank park at Monkey lager.

What used to happen was a Cent AVRE would be turned over with the ignition off and the tank commander would tell the troop sprog that the engine needed turning over with the spanner. Off goes the sprog to the guardroom and eventually staggers back to the park with said spanner only to be greeted with the tank starting up just has he gets back, oh the merriment has he realises he has to take spanner back to the guardroom. :D
"Grenade practice this evening, form up outside the Indoor Grenade Range."

Take this 4" paintbrush and 1" tin of white Humbrol model paint and paint the Last don't know where it is? Go to the Guardroom and ask the Provost Sgt...he'll show you.
Legs said:
Alaarm! said:
Sorry guys for being a bit bone, but could anyone explain what a 'Wah' is?
Pathetic attempt. Must try harder.
HAHAHAHA, Fair one. worth a try though!

Kandahar Airfield, 2004. Standing outside the huge air traffic control tower and i asked my replacement 'if this is a US Army base, why do they call it Kandahar Airfield'? He proceeded to point out said air control tower, runway and HLS. My 'Waaaaaaaaah' was drowned out by the sound of an incoming C-17.
HAd a young lad climb into that little basket on the back door of a CVRT telling him it was the rear door gunners cage and he needs to get in so we can size it for him.
Bless he did as well :dance:
QM Sergeant to new Trooper:- "What do you want?"

"Er i've been sent down from the tank park for a long wheight for a gun barrel Q" came the timid reply.

"OK stand over in the corner"

2 hrs later "OK son youv'e WAITED long enough, we don't keep gun barrels you go"

The penny finally drops with a very loud clang.
The newly promoted Mr Vice was briefed that after the main course at a top table lunch the SSM would bang his gavel to signify that he would like his biscuits to be served. The biscuits were duly placed on a table to the side of the dining area. Mr Vice was also briefed that he should bow his head to the SSM upon distribution of said biscuits and explain "Sir, your biscuits are not broken, Sir" and it was explained that 75 years ago a fight had broken out amongst the WO's in a guards mess over the lack of Digestives and the War Office had decreed that biscuits were to be served by the youngest Sgt in all messes from that day forward. Gavel was duly banged (to signify comfort break) and much to the merriment and bemusement of all, the biscuits were delivered with much bowing and ceremony - as were 5 bottles of Port. Mr Vice thinks I am a cnut!
On of the Tiffs I have the pleasure of working with volunteered to carry out an in flight refuelling proceedure on a Sea harrier.
The harrier would hover over the deck and the tiff would climb a ladder with the refuel hose over his shoulder and clag it on. For protection he would be dressed in firefighting kit and helmet.

The refuel point on the harrier is feet away from the "hot" exhaust nozzle.

Another favourite is to run a jollies book, put your name in if you want to go flying in a Sea Harrier. Normally a young Wren falls for that one.
Victem is fully briefed on emergency proceedures, ejector seat, medical at sickbay and then kitted up and made to sign the blood chit stating they are happy etc. they are then walked out to the aircraft on the flightdeck.
The flight is normally programmed when the flightdeck is being used for flightdeck sports or BBQ and most crew will be on deck.
Once they are strapped in to the only seat does the penny finally drop.
Fave of mine used to be money changing for Gibraltar. The money changing forms would go out to all the messdecks about 2 days before getting into Gib, all the old hands would fill it in and let the newbies put their names on it too, but they would be the only ones mustering at the ship's office for their "Gibloons"

We even managed to catch a v young Chief tiff on a similar wah when we were going into Douglas on the Isle of Man. Can't remember what we called the currency though.

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