The greatest leg openers

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by kilo42, Feb 9, 2012.

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  1. What are the greatest leg opener lines, meals, drinks or just plain desperate begging that have ever worked for you. Back when we still had a bit of empire left, Rum and Babycham mixed was reckoned to be the real deal. Of course that's before all these exotic drinks made an appearance. My best line used to be, "If you buy me a pint I will let you take me home with you". Well it worked for me a few times.:)
     
  2. Queue a zillion replies of "get in the van, I have a knife", "let's not turn this rape into a murder" and variations thereof.
     
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  3. Your dad must off been a the if, coz he stole the stars blah blah blah. Lets be honest they never worked coz I am an ugly fucker.. Prostitutes are for winners ;)
     
  4. What are you, queer?
     
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  5. What the fuck have you been snorting?
     
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  6. The usual..... why u ask...... okay spelling is shite no need to have a go :0) and yes it is a crap response.
     
  7. Being rich or appearing thus is the only reliable method. All the others depend on a complex cognitive algorithm that only runs in female brains, which judges your worthiness based on your age, looks and the value of your clothing relative to other males in the room, their marital status and the proximity of their spouses, the lateness of the hour, her age and the value she places on access to her damp and tufted parts, and the amount of alcohol she has consumed.
     
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  8. "Suck this" has been known to work. Not often admittedly, but it has occasionally, with the response being "that'll be 20 dollars".
     
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  9. Just have desperately low standards. You need to weigh it up when you walk into a pub. Do I spend the whole night chatting up the stunner whilst spending the best part of a weeks wages on drink, or, do you buy hippacrocopig a larger shandy and get your bollocks felt.

    I tended to land in the middle. A slightly rough bird that was usually a shag after a swapping numbers then meeting up a few days later. It was protracted but didn't cost much.

    I'm a tight cunt me.
     
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  10. This line never fails:-

    "Actually I don't normally dress like this. I'm in the Navy so I usually walk around looking like Richard Gere in An Officer and a Gentleman".

    You'll be greeted by a thunderous roar as every pair of knickers within earshot hits the deck.
     
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  11. I see you like chicken sarnies fancy sucking my cock that's FOWL?
     
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  12. Well. You started it.
     
  13. Your eye's are like spanners. They make my nuts go tight.
     
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  14. As some on here may recall, my wife died last year, Well, a mate of mine who lives in Wythall has also lost his wife, and as he mopes about looking sorry for himself all the time,he has had several sympathy shags off various ladies in the area.

    Am I missing something here?
     
  15. "Do you fuck?" used to work, 'back in the day' when a young T_L RE sungod still had all his hair and his own front teeth.

    Bournemouth in the summer, pier to pier target rich environment. 40% success rate - of a fuck or a fight.